Pregnancy/Fertility

For any type of physical problem.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby littlebee » Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:38 pm

This is probably going to sound stupid because I'm so young and people might judge me and say that I shouldn't be thinking about it, but just so people who read this know, I don't want a baby yet and I'm not even sleeping with anyone so it's not about wanting to get pregnant now.
My problem is that I'm 18, 19 soon, and I had a really bad relationship last year where I tried to get pregnant for all the wrong reasons, being young and naive, and I couldn't. I went to my doctor and, as I was only 17, he told me that I shouldn't be thinking about it and that he wouldn't help me, and I don't blame him and I'm glad he didn't. But I don't think I can have kids, i never use protection even though I know it's risky not to but I just don't and I've never got pregnant. I guess I've just had a lot of chances to fall pregnant and I haven't and I want to know why but my doctor won't help me. I don't want a baby now, I don't want one until I'm like 30 but being a woman and thinking about my future I imagine kids in it, and lately it upsets me because I don't know whether I'm going to have them or not; it's not a nice thing to have playing on your mind and I don't want to have to worry about whether or not I can for the next 5 years, I just want to know, to ease my mind. I was just wondering if there's any way that I can find out? I know that medical professionals may not help me because of my age and I know that they usually test the mans fertility first when a couple's having trouble, but I don't want to fall in love, get married and then have the person who loves me find out that I can't give him something that he wants, sometimes not being able to give a man their own kid can be a deal breaker, and I know that if someone loves me then they should stick by me but it's not always like that and with my luck it won't be. I just need to know.
Thanks for any help anyone gives me x
User avatar
littlebee
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:42 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby ILoveChristmas » Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:41 am

Hi Littlebee,

I know it's not what you're asking for advice on, but i'm curious how you explain what seems to be a giant contradiction in your post:

littlebee wrote:I never use protection

littlebee wrote:I don't want a baby now, I don't want one until I'm like 30


I'm not here to judge you, but something's wrong when both those statements are in the same post.

Anyway, the first thing i'm inclined to say is, have you had yourself checked out for STIs? Some of them that you may well have exposed yourself to can affect your fertility so that would be my first port of call.

At your age, and owing to the fact that you're not in a relationship, I don't think you'll get the help you're looking for on the NHS, so you'd be looking at very expensive private tests to establish your fertility. As I say, that brings with it the issue of cost, cost for tests that mean nothing because by the time you do try to actively conceive your fertility may have changed.

My last point is to do with relationships.

littlebee wrote:but I don't want to fall in love, get married and then have the person who loves me find out that I can't give him something that he wants


The person you marry will love you and will not be marrying you because you can give them children. They'll be marrying you because you make them happy and they want to spend their life with you. If you later discover that you can't have children that is an issue that can be overcome or worked around in a number of ways.

Doing what you're doing at the moment is showing a complete lack of responsibility for your own health and the wellbeing of any child that results from it. You probably don't need to be told that, but my own conscience wouldn't let me respond without saying it.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
User avatar
ILoveChristmas
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 676
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland.
Gender: Male

Re: Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby RagDoll » Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:18 am

I agree with I love Christmas in the respect that if you're not using any protection, there's a good chance you'll get pregnant at some point and since you claim you don't want a baby until you're 30, you need to take some responsibility and start using contraceptives.

ILoveChristmas wrote:They'll be marrying you because you make them happy and they want to spend their life with you. If you later discover that you can't have children that is an issue that can be overcome or worked around in a number of ways.


I have to admit that I don't necessarily agree with this though. Not being able to have children is a deal breaker for some people and people do get divorced because they want their own biological children that badly. However, this is not something you need to worry about yet - obviously you need to have a conversation about whether you want children etc. before you get married, but you're nowhere near that situation yet.

I agree that you should have an STI test though as certain STIs can effect your fertility (and obviously are deterimental to your health in other capacities too) and you've been further exposing yourself to getting an STI by not using protection.

Please also bear in mind that lots of people do not fall pregnant over-night. Perfectly healthy couples can try for years before they fall pregnant, so I don't think you should be worrying about your fertility just yet!
We don’t see things the way they are; we see things the way we are
User avatar
RagDoll
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2101
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:57 am
Location: North East England
Gender: Female

Re: Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby Jo » Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:56 pm

Hi littlebee

I don't want to scare you but, as ragdoll has mentioned, STIs are a big cause of infertility - so if you do want to get pregnant later in life then you really really need to start using protection. See here for more info;

http://www.conceiveonline.com/medical-c ... -fertility

and here;

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungp ... /STIs.aspx

Obviously you're also putting yourself at risk of catching HIV which will certainly damage your chances of having a healthy baby later in life!

Also, it's perfectly possible to be trying for a child for a few years before falling pregnant - it doesn't happen easily for everyone - so even though you haven't been caught yet it doesn't mean that there's something wrong, or that you won't be caught out next week, next month, or next year.

The best thing you can do for your sexual health right now, and for your chances of having a child later in life - is to start using protection and get yourself checked for STIs - then at least you'll know that you're doing everything you can to make sure that you're not damaging your chances of conceiving when the time comes.
User avatar
Jo
Site Owner
Site Owner
 
Posts: 1994
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2001 1:00 am
Location: East Lancashire, UK
Gender: Female

Re: Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby littlebee » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:12 am

When I said I never use protection I meant condoms, in the past I didn't do anything, but now I'm on the pill and I've been tested twice at a G.U.M clinic - 6 months apart. I was careless when I was younger but I am more responsible when it comes to sex than I used to be. I'm not with anyone now, but I wouldn't sleep with someone if they hadn't been tested themself.

Thankyou for all of your advice. I think I'll wait a few years before I start to think about it again, although it does bother me, but I guess I could have just been lucky not to have fallen pregnant and might when I'm older.
User avatar
littlebee
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:42 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: Pregnancy/Fertility

Postby Lust » Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:07 pm

If you're on the pill then that is why you can't get pregnant. There is still a chance you could fall pregnant while on the pill but it is unlikely as they offer more protection than condoms against pregnancy. However if you are sleeping with a new partner please make sure you still use condoms even though you are on the pill as like others have said, you could catch an sti that could make you infertile without you even knowing.
User avatar
Lust
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:26 pm
Gender: Female


Return to Physical

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron