need help

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need help

Postby lynne242 » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:27 pm

this is probably absurd but i have to get it off my chest...and Im probably just thiking out loud....I am in a relationship with a gorgeous funny guy, but a wierd rumour has been circulating about the possibility of him being gay....which I personally think is absurd, but it starts to eat at you esecially when the frst guy you ever fancied turned out to be gay ... and you start to think that maybe your gaydar is drastically broken.... so Im just thinking out loud here.

ok so my boyfriend is the most wonderful, caring sensitive gentleman Ive ever met.....when we met we were both virgins, both of us...we had sex after 2 months of meeting. So its not as if he was holding back...it was his idea. It was planned and it was a beautiful expereince for us both. Before that he gave me oral regularly and he seemed to enjoy giving it very much, and still does.

this is silly probably, but he has a very soft polite voice......maybe thats why people assume he is gay ....but its not like a squeaky gay voice at all...just not a gruff deep voice if you know what I mean..... This combined with the fact that he was a 25 year old virgin might have resulted in him getting accused of this.

Hes such a gentleman....really old fashioned sort of guy and I do feel like the luckiest girl alive with him.

Sex always lasts.....its definitely not a wham bam sort of thank you maam....he takes his time.....although after I work on him and he turns to me to give me oral durng foreplay, he does lose it a bit but we soon get it back. But he has no problems keeping it during intercourse. If he was repulsed by sleeping with a girl, surely he wouldnt last in bed? And its not as if hes trying to hide my face or anything haha

this is absurd isnt it...Im just really angry about the rumours.....

OK so what sort of things would suggest a guy was gay?? Please rest assured I am not eying him suspiciously....we are trying to igmore the rumours and we are just getting on with it. Im just curious as to what sort of signs would really suggest that a guy was gay?
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Postby ayeaiii » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:58 pm

Aaaaw lynne242,
I am so sorry that what sounds like such a wonderful relationship has been tarnished for you by a nasty rumour :cry: It is completely understandable, the anger you feel

The hard thing is, you ask what sort of things might suggest a guy is gay, but there is no way of knowing for sure, other than if he said he is, or if you caught with a man. NOt at all, of course, to suggest this wouls ever happen. But, conversly, that fact that you have such a successful sexual relationship would suggest to be that he is, in fact straight, as youn say yourself.

So, I think these rumours are not at all from fact, but perhaps from jealousy of you wonderful relationship- Perhaps some silly, immature people see what you have, and are not big enough to feel for happy you, and can only copw with the envy by trying to sabotage it. But of course, if you do not let them, they cannot do this. it i between you and your oyfriend, and I think that your relationship sounds very strong!

It is totally undersatndable for these things the eat away at you, at the back of your mind, as you say, but I think, very strongly, all is OK, Any doubt of his sexuality that was of any seriousness would be that that came from HIM, not silly rumours from silly people! And you say there has not been this.

Very sorry for the hurt caused by such immature people, I hope this all blows over for you soon

xxxx
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Postby kingbarney » Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:12 pm

Before you worry about the rumuors. you might want to define 'gay'- i think a gay man, is one that likes man and has sex with them. :o
Hey there be happy and dont call me a purple dinosaur okay lol
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Postby lynne242 » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:17 pm

Yes i really do feel that the fact that he stayed a virgin till 25, which for men seems to be more taboo than it is for women....although beleive it or not, i once was accused of being gay too simply because I didnt have a boyfriend. I suppose thats just the way peoples minds work....especially when we are 15 16 years old...

Its his soft voice and his sensitive nature that I think they react to.....but my dad is just like that too!!.....hes not scared of showing his "feminine" side....not scared of saying a kitten is cute if in fact it is!

Hes comfortable in his own skin...used to reassure me when I was nervous about kissing in public that he wasnt in the least bit self concious and he would help me deal with that....of course I got over it fast becasue he is a fantastic kisser haha

So he owns a pink tee-shirt shirt BUT I often have to shout at him to tell him to iron it!! haha...!! his idea of heaven is a beanbag in the centre of a room with a giant plasma TV with wall to wall DVDs......none of which are the Sound of Music or Barbara Streisand in concert!! haha

And sex is good.....no problems there.....hes the one who initiates it most of the time, dragging me upstairs ...... haha

In fact hes coping better with the rumours than I am...but Im dealing with it.it helps to just pour your heart out in here actually! Although we had a long talk about it.....so no problems with communication.

thanks for listening to me anyway........let me jsut say his voice is no where near as soft as ashley in coronation street!!! And in real life that guy is 100% heterosexual as wel as being a happy and doting dad on screen....!

What it boils down to is tht Ive found a sensitive caring guy who is a true gentleman and makes me feel such a deep contentment inside...treats me like a princess.

No wonder they are jealous! :D
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