i am a lesbian, and a muslim but i met a guy friend...

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i am a lesbian, and a muslim but i met a guy friend...

Postby maz » Wed May 23, 2007 7:17 pm

through a muslim website. he is bisexual, well more straight. Over a period off time i got too know him as a mate and eventually met up with him. I know i shouldnt say this but when i met him in a local place he seemed to be a weirdo, and i was ashamed off people seeing him with me. I know i shouldnt judge people but he was really ugly. Im not saying im good looking but when we met i was so embarassed we just went to a coffee shop and i pretended i had to make a move asap as sister needed picking up from college. I still chat too him, he has my phone number etc but he keeps suggesting too meet up and i dont want too. He is a nice person but why do i feel embarassed. Recently he admitted he really fancied me i kind off felt disgusted and sick because he had been thinking off me like that.

Please dont get me wrong i just dont knw what too do, if i stop being friends with him it will hurt him. But i just dont want too meet him again.

thank u please advise me on what too do.
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Postby Kollette » Wed May 23, 2007 10:26 pm

Hey,

To be honest (not in a harsh way) I do not see what the problem is.

If you do not find him attractive then this shouldnt matter as you are a lesbian. Surely if you like him as a friend then this should not bother your friendship.

If you felt uncomfortable with meeting up with him because of any reason other than his looks then maybe you should try to slow down contact with him until you hardly talk anymore.

If he fancies you, then surely he will understand that you are gay and wouldnt be with him anyway.

Unfortunatly you cannot have it both ways. If you want to be friends with him then be friends with him, but you cannot expect him to be there for you when you want him over the phone etc because this is unfair on him. Do you really have much in common?

Kollette x x
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Postby Teenspirit » Thu May 24, 2007 10:00 am

U sound a little harsh there saying that u dont want to meet him cause of his looks...

This is Y so many people now talk on the www cause they 2 have things they dont like about themselves & are worried that others will think it 2...

U obvioulsy liked something about this guy cause u met him so his personality cant be that bad..........
U should be careful meeting people in person through the web though....

Think about what u would like from this person & if they can deliver....
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Postby yessica » Thu May 24, 2007 7:48 pm

Why did you meet up with this guy? Was it to be just friends? Did he know why you were meeting up?

You obviously feel strongly that you don't fancy him so I'd would tell him straight. It's not fair to lead him on. I'm sure he'd appreciate that. Are you worried about telling him becuase you don't want to lose him as a friend? I have a friend who is in a similar situation. I wouldn't worry. It's not like he lives near you so you won't keep bumping into him.

Do you want to be friends with him? Be honest. Don't just talk to him out of pity or to avoid upsetting him. I'm sure he'd rather know how you really feel. Just put it nicely and keep us updated on how it goes.
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Postby Fidel » Fri May 25, 2007 2:41 am

You don't want to meet him again but you want to remain friends?

Just slowly wind down the friendship so as not to hurt him.
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Re: i am a lesbian, and a muslim but i met a guy friend...

Postby retrochav » Fri May 25, 2007 2:05 pm

He could well be overly clingy in relief of meeting another gay muslim?

In any case, if he makes you feel uncomfortable, there is no friendship to loose. There is no easy way, or painless way to do this. I would suggest meeting him and saying that the friendship isnt possible for you. You might be happy to chat online, you'll have to decide that for yourself.

Remeber, you have a right to set your boundries, and have them respected.

If the real issue is just the way he looks and he has made no inappropriate gestures to you - then you should explain that you are too insecure to like a person based on who they are rather than how they look.

Take a good hard look at all options before you make your move
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby lu310890 » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:47 am

r u sure ur not rly attracted 2 him? and hes not wot u expected?
Plus out of curiousity (sorry)
will u ever tell ur family?
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