confused

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confused

Postby yo yo yo » Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:16 pm

ok heres the thing...for a few years now ive been seeing this guy...but for some reason which i cant explain i always find myself attracted to women...but not just any women, it tends to be those who have control over me i.e teachers. i used to really like 2 of my female teachers at school and now ive left i have a thing for my manager at work. even though im seeing this guy and i dont consider myself as gay, i find myself all happy and excited around my manager and love talking to her and spending time with her etc... I feel as though id jump at the chance to be with her insted of my fella!! but then again im never attracted to any other women, only those who have power over me!

Do you rekon im bisexual?
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Postby yessica » Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:54 pm

If it's more than one person you're attracted to then there is a chance that you're bisexual but you may never know until you try. As it has been several women you've been attracted to over a period of time, you seem very curious. Why not go to a support group and discuss your feelings?
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Postby Richard » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:21 pm

You mention feeling "happy and excited" around your manager, but not whether you feel sexual attraction or whether you've had sexual fantasies about her. As this excitement doesn't happen with other women, my initial reaction is that this may be primarily about power, not sexuality.

Presumably this manager has qualities you admire? Skillful, successful, powerful, confident, focussed, in control of her life, and so on. Write a list of the things you admire about her in terms of how she lives and expresses her personal power. Now look at yourself in those areas. Are you maybe attracted to qualities lacking in yourself? If so, then you might consider doing some personal development work.

I would certainly advise looking at this area before making a pass at your manager, which might have unhappy consequences.

Good luck!
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Re: confused

Postby retrochav » Sat Jun 16, 2007 11:51 am

It sounds more like hero worship to me.

You look at these women who have power, drive and ambition. Thats a good thing, we all need role models to inspire and show the path ahead.

If you feel a sexual attraction, consider if its the womans body that is stimulating you, or the power she represents. Do you imagine she wouldnt stay in a relationship that didnt suit her? Could you be subconsiously wanting to end it with your guy, but feel you lack the strength?

You could explore your sexuality without cheating on your guy. Theres lots of imagery of women in different positions for you to look at or fantasize about.

If the urge becomes all embracing, it could show a bisexual dimension to your sexuality. You have choices about whether to seek fulfillment or not. I wouldnt ever reccomend cold calling on a manager, it could be disasterous. Look for a support group for the bi curious, the internet is a great way to find this.
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