straight guy who likes kissing guys any advice

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straight guy who likes kissing guys any advice

Postby asianladyorkshire » Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:46 pm

hi, my first time posting here. can anyone advice me what to do. im straight but i get attracted to guys all i think is kissing cuddling with them dont wanna see their parts below the waist im not gay i just want comforting lots off kissing cuddling being close its getting me really down and ive been comfort eating and feeling lonley what do i do?
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Postby Tarantula » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:20 pm

Accept that you're not entirely straight. And that's fine.
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Postby all_apologies » Sun Oct 07, 2007 10:04 am

This isn't to scare you, just give you a bit of perspective. Before I realised I was gay, my feelings for girls started out as just, as you say, thinking about kissing and nothing further. It was a slower progression than just waking up one day and realising I wanted to sleep with girls. Virtually all of us are brought up assumed straight, so when you're young you don't necessarily think otherwise. Therefore, sometimes it comes as a bit of a shock when eventually you accept that you're not actually the person you thought you were.

Now, it could be that you're just curious, but I think the likelihood from what you've written is that you're gay or bisexual (assuming that you're still attracted to girls too). You say you're not gay, but it could be that you're just scared of being gay because it's not always the easiest thing to deal with. There's no quick or simple way, but if you go with the flow without thinking "I'm definitely not gay", you might become more comfortable and get answers quicker than if you avoid the notion altogether. By the same token, you might decide that you indeed were just curious and being with guys isn't for you.

None of us here can tell you your sexual preference, it's something only you can come to realise. All I can say from my own experience is that if you follow your feelings without attaching a stigma to them, things might become clearer about your sexuality.
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Postby asianladyorkshire » Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:21 am

thanks so much for your replies, it really confuses me it really does i feel so lonley and comfort eat and feel lonley, i dont know what to do i never go out dont have friends am so lonley.
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Postby all_apologies » Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:50 am

Are you relating your loneliness to your feelings towards men? Why so, if you're reasonably sure you're not into them sexually? Are you interested in meeting girls, or are you really unsure of how you're feeling altogether?

I can compeltely relate to the loneliness associated with being gay, but that's a different issue if you're not actually looking to pursue a guy. Don't let these thoughts you're having about men hinder your social life. No one need know about them unless you want them to. You said you've had "bad experiences" with guys in the past (I'm responding here to save replying twice) - what kind of trouble?
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Postby asianladyorkshire » Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:10 pm

yes i think i am relating my loneliness to feelings towards men as i want to kiss cuddle be close with them but dont want to see beloe their waistlines you see as im not into that guys say its weired and selfish that i dont want to do other stuff with them apart 4rm kissing and cuddling. yes i am interested in meeting girls but with girls ive had so many bad experiences being used by them for my money, just taken for a mug really, i have been cheated on by girls my problem is i get too attached to people so i dont know what to do. Bad experiences with guys yes well its a long story and not really comfortable taking about it but will say that met guys who were very forceful, lied, and tryed forcing me into sex and treat me rotten. have been searching for a guy since 2001 met loads but they seem nice online and when meet they are after one thing its such a shame it really is i'm so lonley all i do all day is stay in bed feel lonley and all i have for company is my laptop. take care
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Postby retrochav » Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:50 pm

I dont really think sexuality is the main issue here - its isolation and a sense of being rejected.

Try not to feel bad about just wanting to cuddle and/or kiss lads, its your expression of sexuality and plenty of other guys feel the same. Many gay guys (myself included) prefer affection to souless sex. Many straight guys might feel the same, but whereas women can have a cuddle or kiss and no one abuses them, a straight guy is likely to be labbelled gay regardless and i would feel quite stunted if i were straight, as i am tactile with both sexes.

As for bad experiances, it demonstrates what lacking confidence can do for our relationship choices. When we feel unworthy, we tend to hero worship partners and leave ourselves open to abuse. Hence you have unfortunatly been abused by both sexes.

I would suggest getting in contact with various social groups or charities. There are even asian gay groups (i'm not suggesting for a momment you are gay - but you may find it easier to talk about your needs to gay guys who are less likely to be negative).

Once your self esteem rises, you will feel more confident to express what you want sexually, and less enclined to take abusive behaviour.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby asianladyorkshire » Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:19 pm

thanks so much for your kind words its really apprecited i was feeling guilty of having these feelings as its not allowed in culture or religion
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