Is he gay???

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Is he gay???

Postby emmac » Sun Oct 14, 2007 2:11 pm

Hi, was just wondering if anyone has any advice on this problem I have. I've been with my fiance for 13 years and have recently discovered that he has been spending a lot of time visiting sites dedicated to shemales. I knew he was up to something as he was staying up til the early hours on the internet so I installed a keylogger. I thought he would just be looking at general porn which wouldn't have bothered me at all. Imagine my surprise when I found out that all he had been searching for was shemales, ladyboys etc. It was very graphic and showed that he had been clicking into the pictures and really studying them. I feel sick to the stomach as we have 3 kids and now I'm convinced that he's just been using me as a cover up all along. Can anyone please help me with this? Would he be secretly gay?
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Postby bellajennie » Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:50 pm

Hi Emmac,

Is this behaviour truly out of character; i mean has he ever mentioned any interest in this type of thing before? or has there been any indication in the 13 years you have been together that he may not be completely satisfied? Perhaps if no then he was just curious by the images, they are arguably compelling as it isnt something you see every day. If indeed he is harbouring any 'gay' thoughts perhaps you may have seen them emerge in your previous time together. His interest in shemales may have something to do with latent sexual desires or fantasies. Perhaps, without being graphic, this is something that he fantasizes about incorporating into your own sex-life? Not so much a 'gay'-thought, but a new level of adventure, if you see what I mean...
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Re: Is he gay???

Postby retrochav » Mon Oct 22, 2007 10:43 pm

The good thing about the internet is it can allow us to look into area s of life without actually participating - the sad thing is that curiousity killed the cat!

Its often the case that people stumble accross such sites, feel repulsed, then feel "curious". Wondering what such an experiance would feel like. It could be the case that he is into the notion of domination by a woman, the ultimate humilation of sexual acts from shemales. Its rarely as simple as someone being secretly gay - after all shemales are very feminine beyond the male genitals - not something most gay men find attractive! (after all if we gay guys wanted a woman we would find a lady who liked wearing strap on gentials!!)

I can appreciate it must be a huge shock, and may leave you questioning yourself and him. Before all is lost however....

I would suggest looking on a site yourself, calling him over and ask his opinion. Try expressing that the "woman on top" floats your boat - if it does, maybe that is something you could try. Wearing a male attachment, unless it turns you on, is probably a bit extreme, but taking control in the bedroom could be something you could try, or introducing a sex aid to the bedroom which he uses on you could be worth a try.

Never feel you have to do anything you feel degraded by, sex should make both partners feel liberated and close - not ashamed and angry. If you cant communicate it, try saying that a girl at work stumbled on her husband looking at a mag, and see where that goes.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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