Sharing a room with a lesbian

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Sharing a room with a lesbian

Postby dollydiamond » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:21 pm

hey, well im going to london with school for a few days in june and the girl im sharing a room with is a lesbian, this is gonna sound strange but im really worried tht shes gonna try and come on to me :|
i dont know what i would do if she did
any ideas on how to prevent this happpeningg?
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Postby sarahloub84 » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:30 pm

Sorry, I think your being a bit childish about this. Just because someone is a lesbian doesn't mean that they are going to get onto you. There are various reasons for this, the most obvious being that a) Lesbian's don't fancy every woman they come across, like you haven't fancied every boy you have met and b) she is probably aware that you are not a lesbian and wouldn't bother even if she did fancy you. No one likes to get that wrong do they. I know plenty of lesbians and never once has any of them tried anything with me. They know I'm straight and appreciate that.

If you are still really worried about this your best bet is to just be adult and talk about with her if things get awkward. Just clear the air and have done with it. For all you know she might be a bit nervous that you may be thinking things like this.

Hope your trip goes well anyway and I wouldn't worry to much about this or you may end up ruining your trip for the both of you.

S x
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Postby all_apologies » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:38 pm

This is something that worries me, but from the opposite perspective. I myself am a gay girl, and have put off coming out to my friends because of fear of them reacting in the way that you are. The majority of my closest friends are straight girls (none of whom I fancy) and yet I worry that they'll distance themselves from me because they think I'll come on to them.

In reality, this isn't the case at all. For a start, like mentioned above, lesbians don't fancy every girl they meet. Just like you don't fancy every guy you meet. I'm assuming she's also aware that you're straight, and would be respectful of that. I myself realise that the majority of women are not into girls, and would be very careful of making a move on someone I didn't know was gay.

I also think you need to take into account that just because she's gay doesn't detract from her being 'one of the girls'. I'd hate to think, for instance, my mates wouldn't get changed in front of me or drag me into the toilet with them in a club just because they found out I was gay. I can't speak for every lesbian on the planet, but certainly I feel as though I'm just your average girl other than the fact that I don't fancy boys. Nothing else is different, so hopefully you can overcome it and won't treat her any differently because of her sexuality.
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Postby Raven » Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:38 pm

What the others said. Stop flattering yourself!
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:14 pm

Agree with the " stop flattering yourself " style comment. Who says she'd fancy you just because you're the right sex for her demographic :-? and even if she did come on to you well have you never said "No thanks" to a guy??
This is the same thing, she's a lesbian not a rapist! [-X

try to be a bit more grown up about this.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:27 pm

Agree with the others.

And if she does try (which is quite unlikely), you can always say no.
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Postby captainf » Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:05 pm

I can understand your concern and I think you feel this could happen for some reason. May I ask, are you popular with lesbians? I only ask because I find that I get on with gay people quite well (im straight) and I cant remember how many times gay people have asked me to 'try it' I normally make a joke out of it and say 'Sure, when you try being straight' and normally we both end up laughing.. but they always respect that I am straight and never going to be gay.

I dont think anything will happen, but if it did you could just say 'im straight, im sorry' but try not to make it a huge thing because the girl may feel intimidated and you dont want to do that to her.
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Postby morris mouse » Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:13 pm

sarahloub84 wrote:If you are still really worried about this your best bet is to just be adult and talk about with her if things get awkward. Just clear the air and have done with it.
I wouldn't worry to much about this or you may end up ruining your trip for the both of you.


Hello "dollydiamond"

I agree with "sarahloub84".

Have a good chat with this person (whom you know is gay) & get your
worries and concerns about this out into the open. :)

I'm quite sure that she's just as concerned as you (for whatever reason)
that you're sharing a room together!!! :oops: :oops:

Enjoy your time in London!!! :D
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Postby anxiousdude23 » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:41 pm

Just because she is a lesbian does not mean she fancies you.
Lesbians have feelings for other females, not every female on the planet
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Postby N i k k i » Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:34 pm

im a lesbian but it doesnt mean that i have feelings 4 every1, its the same as say a straight person, jus bcoz a boy likes girls doesnt mean they like every girl!
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Postby damrub » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:37 pm

dolly,

as you can see by the other posts your problem has caused a few to be very forthright with their views. but you can only go with how you feel. if you are uncomfortable sharing with this girl because you dont know how she will be with you be honest with her right from the off. tell her how you feel and what your worried about , im sure she will tell you ( as the other messages state that she doesnt want to jump you). and if she says she does fancy you then at least you can make it clear to her that you arent interested .

the most important thing is be honest . no point keeping it to yourself and getting worked up
and have fun in London dont let this spoil your trip
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Postby morris mouse » Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:23 pm

damrub wrote: The most important thing is be honest . no point keeping it to yourself and getting worked up


I agree with "damrub"
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Postby TheSaneOne » Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:04 am

Agree with those that say this is silly thinking. Why on earth would the lesbian possibly try and crack on to you? It's silly and insulting to lesbians.

I imagine if she didn't make a move you would come back here and complain that you are unattractive....

Oh well, onwards and upwards!
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Postby dayle » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:53 pm

Hi. I can half see the point here. I wouldn't share a room with a straight male friend, not because I think they'd fancy me but because I wouldn't feel comfortable (and I know plenty of people are comfortable with that). That said, I have two close friends who are gay and I behave with them exactly the same way as I would with any other female friend - one of them is my shopping buddy and we'll go into changing rooms together and she'll help me do buttons up etc. I don't think I'm her type (she tends to prefer butch, gay women) but even if I was I trust her and our friendship. I would put this to one side.
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Postby k.bforlife » Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:59 pm

Heyyy,
I do think you are being a bbit over the top but I do know how you feel! I'm bi and i had to share with this girl who also was bi and I didnt know how to take it if she (came on to me )! Just tell this girl that your not interested and that you dont want to hurt her feelings if she did try and come on to you! just because shes lesbian or bi doesnt mean shes any different she just like you! just put you self in her shoes how woulld you feel if the person you were shring a room with was being really childish and silly about you coming on to her! i mean you would like it so just tell her that your not interested and you dont want it to go any further then shell understand!
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