am i a lesbian??

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am i a lesbian??

Postby *blu_pixie* » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:59 pm

ive been bisexual since the age of 12, im now 19 and have had plenty of heterosexual relationships but they all ended quite badly as i find it extremely difficult to trust men.
ive never actually had a relationship with a woman before. ive always been attracted to females but have never done anything more than kissing and cuddling with them, untill now. i went to a party and met this fantastic girl, she's absolutely stunning and has a great personality, i can honestly see myself spending a lot of time with her. i am attracted to her but its so confusing. i would like to try and have a relationship with this girl but im so worried about what people are going to say.
to make things worse i have recently started a new job and there is a lesbian working there and all my workmates take the mickey out of her behind her back (not in a mean way, just calling her names and stuff) so i would hate to come out to them as i feel they would do the same to me.
another problem i have is with my friends and family, they have all seen my many boyfriends come and go so if i was to just come out and admit to being gay i think my friends and family would think i was doing it to get attention. only a few of my close friends know about me being bi and although my mum is a very open person im not sure how she would take it. this is really difficult for me, i dont feel like i can tell anyone about this just yet so i need an outside opinion, anyone with any advice would be much appreciated!
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Postby nufcbabe99 » Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:46 am

you should just tell your friends. if they cant except you for who you are then they are not true friends

maybe you should ask this lesbian at work about how she came and how people reacted just to see it is like

if you cannot trust men then dont go out with men

and you have met this stunning girl so it may be the signs of new beginings

dont change who you are just because other people may not like it


always be yourself
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Postby bellajennie » Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:54 am

I agree with the above, but you shouldnt have to worry about telling people you may be gay just yet. You don't even know if it is a life choice you definitely want to take. By all means try it, but remember that there's no certainty that this is what you want for the rest of your life, so I wouldn't worry about telling your mum until you know for sure.
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Postby jackamo » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:24 pm

Im bisexual as well, im 19 and like you have only ever kissed and got close to other women. i am currently in a hetrosexual relationship, but i have always been clear with every one i meet that I LIKE GIRLS!! :D
the funny thing is that not many people know how to take bisexual people, they think you're either one or the other! just kinda drop it in slowly, if someone says oooh that girl is really good looking, just say YEAH she's HOT! they might think you're joking but say no....... im serious, and they'll get the picture without turning it into something big! i hate the whole gather round guys! im gonna come out! blame it on experimenting if you have to, what ever you feel comfortable with saying, but they say that 80% of the population is in some way bisexual...............
personally i wouldnt call myself gay, i would say im bi! 2 differnt things.

go for the girl!!!! screw the guys at work! they're probably secretly jelous because your lesbian colleuge hasnt come on to them!

i dont know if that helps............
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Postby Sponged » Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:47 pm

Hey! If anyone can relate to how you are feeling right now, im your gal! Reading your post, you remind me of me when i was 19. I'm 21 now, am in a similar situation.... well, kind of. I came out to all my friends and family about 2 years ago and it was such a huge weight off my shoulders. My parents were a bit shocked and maybe slightly dissapointed but they have completely accepted who i am and that what matters. You cant pretend you are something you are not just to please other people, if your friends and family love you as much as you think then they will still love you know matter what sexuality you are. If you like this girl and want to take things further with her then you'd be better being honest with your friends and family and swallow your pride a little bit and screw what other people say. No matter where you are you are always going to come across shallow people that dont have anything better to do than gossip about other poeple, it will be difficult for the first 2-3 weeks, maybe even longer but then they will have something/someone else to talk about next month........ Trust me babe, you will feel soooo much better and you dont have to pretend anymore!x


edited by all_apologies: no swearing please
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:29 pm

Remember that you're not the only one going through this. There are many more people who are afraid to accept their own sexuality thinking that it is abnormal to be gay or bisexual. I hope I don't sound too negative here, but you may lose some of your friends. I think some people just cannot understand the thought of being friends with someone who is a lesbian. However, I think your family will stand by you because they love you, though it may be hard for them at first. After you tell them, I think they will gradually get used to it. After all, you're still you! It's best to be honest with your friends and family.

Finally, Don't Change who you are for others! Just be yourself and let other people accept you!

Hope this helps. Take Care.
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Postby *blu_pixie* » Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:34 pm

thanks you guys, this advice has really helped. im now seeing this girl and its going great....i havnt actually told anyone about this relationship yet though because i want to see how it goes first, if it turns out to be the real thing then i will tell my friends and family but if i find that its just a phase then ill put it down to experience. thakyou! xx
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Postby Sponged » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:43 am

Nice 1 babes, you gotta do wot makes YOU happy yeah? Really hope it works out for you honey, both of you! Take care x
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:27 pm

Glad things are going well so far. I hope things do work out between your family and friends regarding this. Good Luck! :wink:
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