Transsexual..

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Transsexual..

Postby Rhysati » Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:57 pm

I'm a 16 year old MTF (male to female) transsexual, which means although i'm physically male, i have a female mind. A few weeks ago i came out to a few close friends, and my parents, who all took it really well, considering. I've been seeing a GP and psychologist for possible treatments for a few weeks too. The thing is, the reason i finally came out about it is because i just couldn't bear seeing myself grow as a male any longer and i had to do something about it. Ever since, i've been getting increasingly worse emotionally. I fall apart over the slightest thing, and i end up crying for ages and getting worked up over nothing. It's getting really hard just to live, and any treatment i have probably won't happen till i'm at least 18, and will take years on top of that. A relationship is totally out of the question, since it wouldn't be fair on the other half, so despite whether i have a mutual interest in someone, i can't do anything about it. I have an irrational fear of being on my own anywhere other than in my own home, especially when there are lots of strangers about, which has gotten even worse, because i've heard so many stories about people like me who've been seriously injured or killed by people who take issue with the fact that we don't conform to their view of 'normal'. I can barely sleep, i don't eat anywhere near as much as i used to, i don't go out much, except when i'm with the close friends mentioned earlier, i cry over nothing a lot, i worry a lot, and i get upset whenever i think about the future, because the only way to fix this is to go through a lot of painful, potentially dangerous treatments, and putting myself at risk of being disowned by family members, especially my religeous (christian) grandparents, who i couldn't bear to lose, and at risk of being outed and lynched by anyone who finds out and takes issue with it. I really don't know what to do, the process is going as fast as it can, but the paperwork and healthcare system wasn't designed to be fast for things like this, and it's just getting worse and worse the longer it goes on. I need some way to take my mind off of it, but almost everything i can think of just links back to it in some way ):
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:05 am

I think if you do actually want a full sex change you need to act/dress and live as a woman for at least 3 years to prove that it is exactly what you want.

I guarantee someone will out you for their personal benefit, but you will learn who your true friends/family are and if they stand by you then you have nothing to worry about.

If you truly feel you want to be a woman then don’t let anyone or anything stop you; I know you will go through a lot of hard times but in the end it will be worth it.

I know a lot of people who have came out as being gay (it’s not the same, but the point is exactly the same), they had a hard time just dealing with themselves. I don’t think there was anyone of my friends who didn’t go through some form of depression; what I’m trying to say if you do feel down about it then it is natural. Yes you are going against people’s view of normal, but what does it matter so long as you are happy? Your family may be upset or disappointed in you now but if you do prove to them that this is what you want more than anything in the world then I’m sure they won’t mind at all.

Also 16 is a young age, and if you have had the courage now to tell your friends and family then it proves you are a very strong person.

I used to work in a supermarket and a few of my regular customers were male to female sex change. You could see a bit of stubble on them and hairy arms and such, but yourself being young you may avoid some of that. I think over the years I worked in there they got to know each other; maybe find some forums or groups of people in a similar situation to you and talk to them about it as I’m sure they will be able to tell you that your feelings are natural and how they will develop in the future. They will understand better what you are going through than your friends and family.

Good luck with everything and take care :)
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Postby Beckie » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:33 am

You know exactly what you want and you're still really young, and thats great.. its just a case of being patient and not letting yourself get too down during the wait. When you think of the future try not worry- the hard part you're doing right now and it will only get better. Look beyond the hard times to the time when you will be happy as a woman and able to persue relationships and express your femininity freely. Remember that the emotion struggle you are experiencing right now will not last forever, and that in the end it will all be worth it.

Don't worry about other people. Your family loves you and though they may take a little time to adapt to the changes you go through nothing will stop them from caring about you. If anyone outside of your family has a problem with your decision its not for you to worry about- they're just narrow minded and ignorant and thats their issue, not yours.

I think you just need to stay positive. I haven't experienced exactly what you're going through but i understand anxiety and depression, and all i can say is to take one day at a time because worrying about tommorrow is only going to spoil today :roll: Be proud of yourself.. you have the courage to be true to yourself even at such a young age and thats admirable.

<3
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Postby Rhysati » Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:54 pm

Thank you, both of you <3
I know most of the conditions, treatments and risks, but a lot of it doesn't sound too pleasant =/
And a support group or something sounds like a good idea, i think there might be one in my local area actually
I'm trying my best to keep the whole thing under wraps at the moment, but i understand that at some point it won't be possible to keep it a secret anymore, i just hope it won't be too serious
I'm feeling a little better today, said close friends decided to cheer me up, and your replies helped a bunch too (:
I guess i just need to try and keep myself focused on all the positive things instead of the negative
Thanks again xx
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:03 pm

No problem :-)

You will go through a lot of pain and hurt but in the end does it matter? Just think about the end and how much happier you will be.

Best of luck :-) xx
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Postby retrochav » Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:40 pm

A friend of mine is a post op transexual, and as far as i can see, although it helped in the physical way, it did nothing to assist her emotionally.

Remeber that many things in life have to be changed to be fulfilling. Wheat must be turned into flour to make bread. No one would say bread is unnatural, and if you need to realign your gender to align mind and body so be it. Thats how she dealt with the ignorance she faced.

As you will need to live as a woman for at least a year to be considered for surgery, it may be worth thinking about what it is that makes you feel female. Is it a feeling that being a woman allows more emotional honesty? Is it that your body as a male repulses you? Considering these issues now will help you be prepared to explore them when you have counselling in preparation.

The Beaumont society offer advice for transgender people, and can put you in touch with support groups for you and your parrents. As for your grandparrents, its best to wait until you are really confident and supported before you talk to them. True Christians will be shocked, but ultimatley love you even if they'll never really understand it.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby lu310890 » Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:33 am

As much as i would wanna say be proud of who you are its hard to say that if your scared that people might harm you in your area -

Perhaps join some support groups look in the local newspaper, try gumtree, places like that local to you so you can meet people who know and can give you more advice, support and you could meet other friend who can understand you nearer to you and know the area well that you live in.

At my college there was a NUS (national union students) LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual trannsexual) group within the NUs in our college maybe check that out?

good luck!
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Postby rufio89 » Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:36 pm

You can't begin reassignment until you're 18, but you can take what are effectivley hormone stoppers, that will stop you maturing into an adult male, but if somewhere along the road, before your surgery, you decided you'd made a mistake, you could stop taking them, and continue through puberty as normal.

Why not discuss this option with your doctor?
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