have a bf, but I think of girls too much (kinda long)

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have a bf, but I think of girls too much (kinda long)

Postby hair_chops » Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:59 am

so where to start...

I'm 20 yrs old and in a relationship with the most kind, wonderful and loving man I've ever met, and I love him with all of my heart. I find him phyisically/sexually attractive, but sometimes I feel like he's not enough.
I'm bisexual, I always have been, like. It wasn't like one day I realised that I liked girls as well as boys, since I was little I knew that I liked girls, I've never had a conflict over it (internally) and I'm 100% comfy with my sexuality. My bf knows that I'm bi and hes cool with it, I think he finds it interesting :p

Problem is, when we first started dating and gettin sexual (although not full sex) he could easily get me wet :oops: , but now I can only get aroused enough for intercourse if he gives me oral. Whenever we're having sex or just fooling around, quite often I'm fantasising about girls, and whenever I have fun with myself its girls I think of - I've never think of my bf, cos I just can't get aroused enough. I've never told my bf that I think of other women when we're together, but he knows that I sometimes think of women when I'm alone.

It's really getting on my nerves because although the sex with my bf is amazing, I can't help but feel that I really want to have sex with girls. I have such conflicting feelings. One minute I feel ashamed that I should want someone other than my bf, then I feel like I'm missing out on something that I know that I want, and other times I feel like suggesting a threesome.

It isn't a question of leaving my bf, because I love him with all my heart, and I know he feels the same with me, I never want to be parted from him.

I guess I just want someone to tell me that I'm not doing something wrong.

sorry bout the long post!
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Re: have a bf, but I think of girls too much (kinda long)

Postby retrochav » Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:01 pm

Let me attempt to ease your mind. Surveys show that most people fantasize about imagary other than there partner. Whether it is about a celeb. or someone they know.

The important thing is where you go with it! If it stays a fantasy there is no potential for damage to your relationship. You could even watch pornography together that shows girl on girl action and that could be fun for you both.

The problem with threesomes is the potential for someone to feel left out, and that could mean you as well as him. It can also lead to insecurity and jealousy. It really tests a relationship, and whilst some couples thrive on it, others fall apart.

So my advice would be to enjoy the fantasies, view imagary - maybe he might even go in drag or wear a femine perfume, something like that. But think very carefully before bringing in a third person, or go looking for one.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:13 am

I agree with retrochav but would also add that sex doesn't stay the same.
That first intital excitment wears off and thats why it takes a bit longe to get excited.
Most people I know need oral or some other stimulation (like porn) to get going
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