I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

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I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby grillyguy » Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:29 pm

Hi

I am pretty sure I am gay but im scared of what my parents, family and friends think. I am 16, have a stamemr, and am doing my a levels. I am quite camp and my name is guy so u can imagine the taunts I get. I have never kissed anyone and i feel this quite sad. My uncle is gay and my parents are fine about it. i'm just worried. I really want to tell a friend who hsa gay friends but im scared. Im thinking about writing a letter.

Answers please
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby morris mouse » Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm

Hello,"grillyguy" :)

Could I say that you have a lot of things in your life that you should be happy about. :)

Your uncle is gay and your parents are fine about it. :) I don't see you having any problems telling your parents,as I'm
sure that they will accept it as being ok that you're gay (as they already have with your uncle!!!)

Please tell them as soon as possible :D

**All the very best with your studies.:)**
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby grillyguy » Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:23 am

THanks morris mouse

What about my friends?

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Postby morris mouse » Sat Nov 15, 2008 3:00 pm

I really want to tell a friend who hsa gay friends but im scared.


"grillyguy" the same can be said about your friends. :D You've said that they have gay friends,so as they accept each
other,I'm quite sure that they'll accept you as part of their group. :)

......Re: how do you tell them?? It would be much better if you told them face to face,but if you prefer by letter,
that's ok. :)
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby lilessexgal » Sat Nov 15, 2008 3:33 pm

like what is said above if your friends have gay friends and are fine with it (like they should be) and your family are fine with your uncle being gay then they should be fine with you being gay to.

it will feel much better to get it out then keep it locked up and live a lie.

if you fancy writing a letter to your family then go for it? if not tell them there is something important you would like to talk about and sit them down when you know you have got their full attention.

good luck hunny
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby all_apologies » Sun Nov 16, 2008 11:49 am

Coming out is a big step, and though I admire you for wanting to face that challenge, I also would encourage you to wait until you’re absolutely sure of who you are. You said that you’re “pretty sure” you’re gay; where does the doubt lie? How long have you been feeling this way?

I do think school is likely a difficult place to come out, because everyone is so worried about trying to fit in that they’ll often put others down just to take the heat off of themselves. That doesn’t mean to say that your friends won’t accept you for who you are, but it’s probably worth gauging other people’s opinions on homosexuality before coming out to them. Maybe you’ve got a few friends who you know are fine with being gay that you could come out to first, before going on and telling everyone else? You can always try and broach the topic in an indirect way to figure out who you think would be fine and who might not.

The fact that your family have no problems with your uncle’s sexuality is great, so hopefully they’ll be as accepting of who you are too. It’ll still probably be quite shocking for them, though, and I think it’s different when it’s your own child versus someone else in the family. It might therefore be a little harder for them to get their heads round, so prepare yourself for that possibility.

Again, if you’re keen to come out, I’d start small. You don’t have to let everyone know all at once. I will reiterate that you should be sure before you tell everyone, though. I know it’s not much fun keeping it all a secret, but it’s a big thing to take back if you decide in the future that you were just curious all along. Maybe you could post in a little more detail about your situation and how long you've been feeling this way?
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:09 pm

have a chat with youtr uncle about it all I bet he can offer some great advice
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:49 pm

Spot on advice from Bel-Bel!
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby grillyguy » Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:12 pm

ive come out actually it was in november but sorry i havent posted

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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby all_apologies » Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:05 pm

Congrats on taking such a big step :) So, how were everyone's reactions, how did you approach it and how are you feeling now?
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:06 pm

yes i have all the same questions as all_apologies
well done for taking that scary step
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby grillyguy » Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:27 pm

everybodys reactions have been great thanks but tbh i thought i wud get some agro from straight people not gay people. Ill post another problem about it and then u can reply plz
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Feb 10, 2009 10:47 am

I don't understand your response? You want agro from straight people so you are posting another post so we can "reply plz" to it?
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:22 pm

no i think he is saying he is getting agro from the gay community not the straight people
and he is posting about that issue in another post
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Re: I'm gay and want to come out but i cant

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Feb 10, 2009 2:34 pm

Oh it makes sense now, thanks bel bel
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