i need advice?!

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i need advice?!

Postby teen91 » Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:07 am

I dont know if this is in the right topic, so sorry if it isnt.

Im seventeen and havent had sexual intercourse with anyone. I think this is due to something that happened to me as a child; i was molested by a family member. It happened once, from what I can remember, but Ive never trusted a guy enough to get intimate.

Anyway, everyone always says how painful the first time is, which obviously it will be.

But if you are totally relaxed and sure that youre ready, can it minimise the pain?

I know I probably sound really stupid, but that's also making me nervous about my first time.

Any answere would be appreciated

thanks,
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby Liquidius » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:51 pm

I think it hurts more for some people than it does for others. Everyone worries about it hurting, and whether ofrnot they'll do it right! Relaxing will make it easier, but it is very hard to be relaxed when it's your first time.

Try not to worry too much, it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. Plus, you'll be more excited than nervous I think when it comes to it! Just make sure it's not something you're rushed into, and that you're definitely ready.
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby ILoveChristmas » Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:00 am

Hello,

First time sex can be a bit of a vicious circle, the more nervous you are the less relaxed you are and the more it's likely to be uncomfortable.

Whatever happens it's important not to lose sight of why you're doing it, so take the time to relax, enjoy plenty of foreplay and let it happen naturally. The more relaxed you are the easier it will be, and more enjoyable of course!

By the way, I noticed you specifically mentioned being seventeen and having never slept with anyone. That matters not a jot, it's about when you're ready. I was 18, nearly 19 in fact, so never rush.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby teen91 » Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:53 pm

thanks for the advice.

:)
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby retrochav » Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:58 am

Only penatration can be painful, the reason being that on your first experiance you may feel tense, nervous and unsure of the whole thing. I would suggest that this most intimate act is best done with a loving, understanding partner, so that it can happen slowly with mutual respect for each other.

Other forms of sexual contact carries no initial discomfort, there should be no pressure to go any further than you feel comfortable to.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby Aligator » Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:30 pm

i agree with retrochav and it realy doesn't matter wot time.
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby catman » Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:39 pm

same as aligastor which is same as retrochav
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Re: i need advice?!

Postby catman » Thu Dec 11, 2008 5:44 pm

slightly ignore last post,calm down,the more you think itll hurt the more it Will hurt and the more it hurts the more painful you think it is until eventually you have to stop,so as i said keep calm about it and itll be ok
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