Help.. I'm confused! lol

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Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby mandyxoc » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:28 am

HI everyone!!

I've not been on here for agesss, things have been running too smoothly! lol I felt the need to come back for some advice lol

well this thing is....I think I might be bi sexual or more likely bi curious....all my life there's always been something at the back of my mind that I always ignored, like I used to some times feel like I was attracted to my old best friend but I would freak out and quickly push it out of my mind. Then I worked with a gay girl for a while and one day she was fixing my head set and it really made me blush but more recently I met my boyfriends sister who is gay (she was in oz for a year) and I felt really attracted to her, I couldn't stop looking at her and actually found myself wishing I was with her!! I think part of this was because she looks quite like my boyfriend and she has a lot of the same mannerisms and same sort of personality traits, anyway this quickly passed (a couple of days later).

I often find myself fantasizing about women, wondering how it would feel to.. you know, more now than ever before and I started working with a gay girl quite recently and I keep daydreaming of kissing her...and of people knowing that I am 'bi' or what ever.

I'm happy with my boyfriend (most of the time lol) there's no doubt in my mind that I am still attracted to him and I would never cheat but why do I keep having these thoughts? I've never kissed a girl before and maybe I'm just nosy or it's a faze I'm going through or something....oh I don't know. I don't walk by a girl in the street n think " aw i'd doo her" lol It seems to be more when I know they are gay, they intrigue me or something.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this before and what do yous think? cause I just don't know! lol Do yous think I should do anything about it?

Thanks for reading, I know its a bit of a rant lol any input would be appreciated

Mandy Xx
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:07 pm

i think it is quite normal to go through fazes of feeling like this
the thing is you say you don't walk down the street thinking you would "do her" but i bet you don't think that about guys either
lets assume you were bi - you would still stay with your b/f until that relationship ended and then you may go off with a guy or a girl
so at this stage whether your bi or not isn't really the issue unless you want to break up with your b/f and it seems you don't
sometimes people fantisize about being with the same sex but when it actually came to it they wouldn't do anything
if you split with your fella that would be the time to think more deeply about whether it is something you want to explore because you said yourself you wouldn't cheat
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby all_apologies » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:49 pm

I actually used a website for a little while which was pretty much dominated by straight people, but where I was open about being gay (because the guys were total sleazes!) Anyway, this girl got friendly with me, we had a bit of a laugh and she admitted she was totally fascinated by me. She was completely straight, but having someone gay come under her radar made her think about what it would be like to be gay, and she said it was quite an interesting thought to her, so flirted madly!

She’s not gay, but the possibility of being gay was brought to her attention when I came along, so it was something she started to think about more. That’s totally natural in my mind. Perhaps this is the case with you; you’re just curious because it’s something you’ve newly encountered.

Then again, maybe your feelings are of genuine bisexuality and, having met some other gay people recently, it’s been brought to light. Like you, when I first started having feelings for women, it wasn’t a fancying-girls-in-the-street kind of thing. It started with specific crushes. Once I actually realised I was gay and got more comfortable with it, it progressed to fancying girls left, right and centre. Maybe you feel this way because it’s all new to you.

Based on my own experiences, all I can suggest is to give it time. If it’s a phase, it’ll pass in due course, and if not you’ll have your answer. So long as you’re happy with your boyfriend at the moment, there’s no need for you to worry about your relationship. If, at any point, things don’t work out with him, you might want to keep your options open for potential relationships with women as well as men.
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby mandyxoc » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:34 pm

Hey!!

Thanks for the advise :)

Well the last couple of days, I keep feeling attracted to the girl I work with (that I mentioned before) like I check her out when she walks away then realise what I'm doing lol and I feel like I'm flirting with her...I don't really know if I am though because flirting's never a thing I've been able to turn off and on, if you know what I mean? lol Its weird!

Anyways I think yous are totally right about not worrying too much about it right now while I'm with him, then if we do split I can explore it more but...

It's kind of making me doubt my relationship, I know I said I'm happy but the last 2 months...well he's been taking steroids (which I always told him was a bad idea not to mention dangerous and illegal!) and I think it's starting to affect him now, he's so moody and short tempered these days, we haven't been having arguments or anything but its changing him and I don't know if that's whats pushing me towards the girl in work and the day dreams more??

I'm going to give it another week or so and see if he gets back to normal because everyone has times when they are a bit off and it might just be me being paranoid because I know he's taking they stupid things. Then I'm going to tell him that I think they are changing him and it's making me unhappy, then I know he will stop them - well I hope he does and if he doesn't then I'm going to have to make a stand and tell him me or them....sound like a good plan? :-?

Thanks again :)
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:14 pm

i think the fact you are having problems with your boyfriend would explain why you are looking elswewhere for attention, whether it be girls or boys
it is a fact steroids change your moods for the worse and this is what you need to get your boyfriend to understand
try start a diary of his moods and then show him after a week or two, that way you will have speceific examples of his behaviour
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby mandyxoc » Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:20 pm

Oh that's a great idea, I know he will ask me for examples and I have the worst memory ever! Then I'll just take it from there....

Thanks so much for your help girls :)
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Re: Help.. I'm confused! lol

Postby Lust » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:34 pm

You're prehaps finding girls so interesting because you can relate to them more.
Sounds odd but you may *im not sure* be feeling that as your bf is obviously a guy, that you cant be AS open with him as you could with another girl. Craving that bond where you know exactly how she's feeling because youu experience the same is perhaps what is making you fantisize about the other girl.

Like the others said, your not gay, but instead you may be feeling that as your relationship with your bf is going a little rough atm due to the steroids that you wish you had someone you could relate to personally, as you may feel you cant understand why men react such a way to be stronger and fitter.

I wouldnt worry about it, it doesnt matter if you're straight, gay or bi, you're still you and if you did decide to take a break with your bf, you could then have a real think about things and find out whether you're just craving a close bond or a full blown relationship with this girl.

Like its been said before, this is nothing to worry about, you're normal :) and i wish you all the best.

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