been called a stalker but im not

For any problems related to sexuality, coming out & gay relationships.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:33 pm

My friend Lauren works in Primark and I met her supervisor like 2 months ago. I fancy him and I added him on fb and talked to him on there a couple of times and we seemed to get along. I emailed lauren saying "Dean is sexy", and she replied back saying "shut up". So, I replied back saying it over and over again. She then forwarded it to someone else and then this other person said they were gonna put it on fb so Dean would see. She then said he knows I fancy him and that I should stop stalking him, which I'm not.

I used to go there [to Primark] if I had a half-day and see Lauren's mum or when I was with friends or I was actually shopping and I used to say "let's see Dean", like, jokingly - but if you fancy someone don't you wanna see them if you've got the chance?

Me and Lauren had an argument on Sunday about him, and how I was putting my love life before my friends' feelings. She kept on saying how uncomfortable she was, which is true, and we're fine now.

I saw him on Tuesday, but because I hadn't talked to or seen him before, I didnt talk to him. I never have done in person; I've been too nervous because of my stammer. Yet since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about him, which I hate.

It doesn't help when people are also saying "you are obsessed with him" and that I should try harder to get over him. Apparently he told Lauren and another person to tell me that, but Lauren couldn't tell me cos she knew how sensitive I was.

He's only 19, btw. I've deleted him off fb and I feel like a weirdo if he thinks I'm some weird unsocial, stammering, sad freak and other people are saying that I should stop obsessing.

I really wanna know if he likes me, not likes me likes me, but do you no what I mean? I feel I can't ask people cos I know like four people who work there, and I'd feel like I'm being manipulative and controlling.




edited by all_apologies: I've re-written your post into sentences as it was a little hard to follow. I think I've interpreted it correctly, but I've saved your original writing in case there's anything I got wrong!
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby all_apologies » Sat Feb 07, 2009 5:28 pm

How about sending a quick, to-the-point message directly to him. That way you avoid the rest of the gossipy staff. I'd drop him a quick line just saying you've heard a few silly rumours and you hope he doesn't think you're stalking him. Keep it light and friendly, as if you find the rumours amusing rather than hurtful. That way, if he is interested in being friends, you'll likely get a reply and you might have an inning to get talking to him properly.
User avatar
all_apologies
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 3539
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:30 pm
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Sat Feb 07, 2009 5:35 pm

i cud try that but i think he thinks im some freak and i think my friends wudnt like that cos i wont shut up about him and i said im tryin 2 get over him but i cant its 2 hard
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:47 pm

if your friends are telling you that you are obsessed ith him maybe you are going a bit over the top and it isn't coming accross well.
you could try all_apologies suggestion but if you don't want to then you will have to just try and forget him
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:17 pm

right so sorry for not replying but basicially i think im as over him as I can be

there are days when I think about him a lot, even though im in a relationship but my bf knows about dean, but it seems that everyone that adds me on fb knows dean and its like ahhhhh f**** off and then gets me down, same as when someone even mentions his name, but I dont wanna say anything cos people would probably have a go at me.

I havent been in that primark in months, unless with friends, but even then its for two minutes and I feel so uncomfortable.

I'm also scared to go to the local clubs, even though I'm 17 but i get asked and they say they will cover for me and get me in and stuff, in absolute fear of bumping into him.

It didnt help when I was at a local youthclub and Lauren was saying "Dean was saying he would come down here, and dress all indie and try and fit in". I hope it was meant asa joke but I have a feeling it wasnt. I told another friend at the time that if he did come I would go to Sainsburys, which is really close, or I would leave.

I hate the fact that this is still affecting me after what 5 months
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:48 am

It's a shame it's affected you so much but it's been so long, you have a new fella now. So what you fancied him, he should be flattered. The fact is noone could accuse you of still being a stalker after all this time
Are you afraid to see him because of the feelings it will bring up or because your worried people will bring up the previous stalking acussations?
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:27 pm

Well tbh i dont think he knows I liked him as much as I did and stuff, he just bitched about me behind my back to my friends, and in answer to your question I would say both aretrue but the first answer mainly, the feelings bit.

Oh, and at this youthclubby thing i go to, he went passed in his car, i didnt see, mydrunk friend did, and she said oh look its dean, lauren said it wasnt and she wasjust puulling my leg, lauren genuinely didnt think it was dean

turns out it was and is coming this week. lauren told me this at a party i was at yesterday and i think she knows is upset me and she asked me and i said no, but i think she knows it did.

im not sure whether to go this week or what

my bf said i should just be civil to him if he does come

thanks btw
xxx
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:01 am

Why should you stop going to your youth club if you enjoy going with your friends. It's not like you are going because he is going; you went before he decided to come this once. Also if you don't go it will look like he has the upper hand on the situation.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:52 pm

i guess what your saying is true but im still a bit worried like what if he talks to my friends, i will be so uncomfortable, and i just dont know what to do in the situation like if he talks to me or is there.
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:26 am

Just talk to him, answer his questions, be sociable but don't go out of your way for him.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:23 pm

TRY TO PRETEND HE IS JUST ANOTHER FRIEND AND NONE OF THIS OTHER BUSINESS HAPPEND
JUST ACT NORMAL

sorry on casps :oops:
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:08 pm

kay but it will be hard

some other stuff has happened between me and my friends. i will start from the beginning.

basicially in english we wrote love poems and i did one about dean which was stupid because i then became down about it. me and some mates then went shopping at the mall and basicially they kept on putting handsanitizer all over me, like as a joke but im usedto it, and then i went up the escalator and then they stayed down so i went down and they went up i went back up cos i was only a few steps up and then fell and then they laughed.

then we went for food and they asked me what i would give them outta 10, and i gave the 3 people that tormented me most 7 and the rest 8 then they got all upset and hissed off, im not sure jokingly, and then went off leaving me on my own for like 20 minutes, got what i needed, and then i tried to apologize to them all but i think ive pissedthem off even more, and when we were in the apple store i posted an fb message saying sorry and someone who i gave 7 said im not gonna argue/talk bout it its pathetic but i feel bad and stuff, and they were acting really hissed off and like they werent taking my apology seriously so i said "so u can be hissed off at me but i cant be hissed off at you when you torment me and stuff" and on msn i said sorry to one of them and then just said she had to go when she had only been online for like 10ish minutes i would say

:(
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:44 am

They aren't exactly a decent bunch of friends. I'd maybe try and distance yourself and try and find some new friends.

grillyguy wrote:they asked me what i would give them outta 10, and i gave the 3 people that tormented me most 7

grillyguy wrote:on msn i said sorry to one of them and then just said she had to go when she had only been online for like 10ish minutes i would say


So this girl that torments you wanted her rating out of 10, you said 7 (at most) and she got upset....now bearing in mind girls aren't the object of your desire and boys are I think she should learn to grow up.

I think all your friends need to learn to grow up in all honesty.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby grillyguy » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:02 pm

im not sure if this will contradict what you just said

well went to a youthclub and as a way of apolagy i let them put a condom over my head. Then they decided to go park, and i didnt no where this park was so i was like im gonna go home cos my dad was gonna pick me up at ten and i wasnt sure when i was gonna be back, and i had no credit, people offered and i was like im not sure. i think their annoyed at me though as i think now i cud have gone.

and we were only had the youthclub 4 20 mins max and dean didnt show, lauren was like im warning u now dean might come but i its cool, so at least it shows she cares and think she knows im still not over him :(
grillyguy
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:07 pm

Re: been called a stalker but im not

Postby heartfullalove » Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:08 am

'as a way of apolagy i let them put a condom over my head'....
How small is your head?
How giant was the condom?
(I'm assuming you mean that they put it over your actual head, the one with eyes ears and a nose, as opposed to...)
I may be reading this wrong. But it sounds like your 'friends' don't exactly treat you the way friends should, and your self-respect is not all that it might be.
Good luck.
heartfullalove
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 11:08 pm
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Sexuality

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests