Not really a problem but...

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Not really a problem but...

Postby Fragmented » Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:17 pm

...I thought I would just add this on here.

I think I first posted on here about 7 months ago. In the heat of the moment I deleted my posts but the gist of it was meeting someone online, her freaking out in person when we kissed, making me feel guilty for it, then continuing to yo-yo for the last six months. Ending things, beginning them again with me, telling me she wanted space, then telling me she hated I lived so far, telling me there was no chemistry then telling me she wanted to spend forever with me. You probably get the picture. Written down in black and white like that, I'm not sure why I didn't get the picture earlier too. Some people on here gave me some really good advice - in particular bel bel when you said your gut feeling says she's going to be nothing but trouble. How right you were. In short, after a whirlwind of gut-wrenching emotions, she ended it earlier this week and I'm almost relieved she did - although upset and angry at myself that it took me so long to see the light.
Last edited by Fragmented on Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Not really a problem but...

Postby captainf » Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:59 pm

Sorry to hear that you had a very rocky situation but atleast it has come to an end now. The important thing is to not go back and also make sure that you make a complete cut from her.

Dont worry, its not your fault that you kept going back. I had someone do something similar to me about 2yrs ago and I do understand why you kept going back because you believed it would be different, and then before you know it again you were having space from eachother only for her to change her mind again. After a while that becomes very confidence draining because you dont know where you're going to end up and deep down you know things arent going to work but its always hard addmitting that. Atleast now though things have come to an end and you can focus on yourself and moving on from the relationship. One day she will also learn the error in her ways too.

You seem like a wise person and i'm sure you learnt alot from this and you've found out what you really dont want in a partner.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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Re: Not really a problem but...

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:08 am

I think I remember your original posts. I'm glad that you have sorted the situation and are feeling much better in yourself.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
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Re: Not really a problem but...

Postby snail » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:10 am

Yes, I remember your original posts too. I can't say I'm surprised at how things worked out, unfortunately :(

But, as the Captain says, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Once you've invested strong emotions in someone it's always easier to imagine them coming back and saying they will give you everything you want after all, taking all the pain away and solving everything, than it is to admit that there's no future in it, and face the hard task of re-building all your hopes and dreams from scratch.

Bets of luck with your future relationships.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Not really a problem but...

Postby Fragmented » Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:01 pm

Thanks guys.

I read another thread on here about relationship break-up and lots of good advice about how to deal with it and I think that's helped. It's strange, even when you know someone is so incredibly bad for you and you feel constantly drained by them taking so much out of you and not giving anything in return - you STILL find it impossible to let go. I would have walked away a long time ago if it had not been for her constantly yo-yo-ing and messing with my emotions. It's been almost a week of no contact. I've cut off all ties and have accepted it's over and want it to be over. But I still wake up feeling sad, hurt and upset. But I guess it's a case of good and bad days until you're finally over it.

I think today's a bad day :cry: lol, if only there was a button that allowed you to fast-forward six months and be over it. Sigh.
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Re: Not really a problem but...

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:32 pm

But just think you learn from it and you know not to make the same mistakes again, and whilst the pain isn't very nice it serves as a reminder why would shouldn't do it again. If you get over the pain you'll be better for it come future relationships. I know it doesn't seem like it is true, but when you meet the perfect person you'll realise just how true it is.
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