Am I a lesbian?

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Am I a lesbian?

Postby veryconfusedgal » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:31 pm

Im 19 and at uni,ive had a bit of a hard time at the minute,and all my mates are visting there famileis. i went to a bar,and i was getting drunk well this girl she was 22,startin chatting to me and at this point i was tipsy,i went bak 2 hers so we cud chat more,then she made a move on me at first i was like no way. but then she kissed me again and i we ended up having sex,it was amzing it was erotic. but the next day i felt dirty and disgusted at myself, for sleeping with a girl.i have no problem with gay people but its not something id ev been interested in. well since then we have had sex a few more times, and every moring i fell dirty and horriable. i dont know wots wrong with me,when we are having sex i feel like i cud stay with her 2eva,but straight afterwards i freak out.

help
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Postby Bubble » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:41 pm

Unfortunately hun the only person that can define your sexuality is you.
Alot of people go through the exploration stage, so this could be what you're experiencing?
Have you thought that there might be a reason you keep going back for more?
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:48 pm

well my mates are away,and shes somebody to talk 2,and she gives me loads of comliments,ive just spilt up with my boyfreind. she makes me feel speical,and the sex is amazing,but then the next day i feel jelly bout myslef
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Postby Bubble » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:52 pm

Well hun i think that you should seriously think things through before you do it or are tempted to do it again.
It sounds a bit like you're confused and hurt possibly from your break up and are looking for someone to be there for you. Don't rush into anything until you're sure.
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:57 pm

im so confused,and im missing my best mate like mad.

but everytime she comes round i just cant help myslef,she makes me feel really gud
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Fri Oct 31, 2003 9:12 pm

i feel so messed up, i still have feeling 4 my ex,but when i lying next to lyndesy it feels right,but then i as soon as get up its me feeling bad again,i dont know wots wrong wit me
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Postby Bubble » Fri Oct 31, 2003 9:22 pm

Perhaps you are lonely hun? Is there anyone you can talk to? You really should sit down and think long and hard about it before you start playing with the emotions of this other girl.

Also please refrain from using profanity in your posts. Thanks.
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Postby Fidel » Sat Nov 01, 2003 12:12 am

I think u are fine.
Sometimes the body and mind feel the need to explore
U may be a lesbian but u may be just ruling some stuff out
Don't dwell

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Postby depman » Sat Nov 01, 2003 2:02 am

It sounds to me that you are looking for emotional need and that doesnt mean that you are a lesbian,personally from what I have read I dont think you are and missing your ex boyfriend and your friends shows you need love and freindship
You say you feel funny after having sex well maybe thats you telling yourself I dont feel right
You maybe bisexual but it may be best not to rush and see how your feelings are and if you think you maybe lesbian then you mustn't feel bad this girl may have strong feelings for you and you dont want to hurt her so make sure if you do have feelings for her then why would there be a problem
Good luck and keep us posted
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Sat Nov 01, 2003 4:22 pm

thanx for the advice,im just so confused,like at the minuite i feel bad,but i know if 2nite she comes on to me il end up doin it again. also i doubt her feeling wud be hurt shes not exactly in love with me,i just think she is attracted to me.

im so messed up,wots wrong with me
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Postby Paige34 » Sat Nov 01, 2003 5:20 pm

I don' think that there's anything wrong with you.

maybe the reason you feel "horrible and dirty" afterwards is because you feel as though your doing something wrong and your not.

Your very vunerable at the moment breakups are hard especially if your still have feelings for the other person, I'm going through a breakup at the mo and I have similar feeling as you do, and I know why I'm feeling them in my case it's because I can't bere the thought of being with another man besides me husband but I also want the feeling of being loved and comforted eveybody knows that feeling of contentment of snuggling up to someone that wants and cares for you.

Your breakup has left you emotionaly needy and the fact that your best friend isn't there at the mo just makes it all the more harder for you to cope, you could just be looking for alittle comfort and thats what she's giving you. I'm sure alot of us out there have had "comfort sex" from time to time when we've been upset.

The important thing is that your you and sleeping with this girl doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean theres anything wrong with you.

I hope every thing works out for you.
If life hands you a lemon don't try to make orange juice.
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hhmmmmmm

Postby kinky_kylie_aka_babes » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:33 pm

well hiya,
ummmm tough, i think that u felt dirty because you know the way some people react towards gays and you felt disgusted with yourself for sleepin with a girl. i want to try it who knows i might feel dirty afterward but you know i'll have to see please dont feel disgusted in yourself you have no reason to you obviously liked it because you said it was erotic and great and well you must have had them feelings before dont worry about it the problem might have been solved now but thanks for reading.


xxxxxxxxxxkinky kyliexxxxxxxxxxxx

Edited by sovs 4/11/03
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Tue Nov 04, 2003 6:50 pm

ive been avoiding her,shes been caling,butive ignored her cause il know il regret it if i do anything else,thanx for the advice,im just looking forward to whem my mate comes bak,and nervous if shes finds out wot ive been doing il dont know wot il do
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Postby veryconfusedgal » Tue Dec 23, 2003 7:42 pm

hi thanx for the adive,but now i kinda have a new problem,i relsied that i was with her just cos,i felt alone and needed affection. i called it of and she seemed cool about it,but a few weeks ago i met a new bloke the only problem was he is her best mate,and when she found out,she went mental,and has been calling me up drunk. she has been shouting abuse at me and matt,and im terrifed she will tell my mates bout wot happend.

im not sure wot to do,shud i shout at her and try get her to stop,but then i feel guiltiy cos ive behaved badly with her.

im really confused now

Edited by Saz 23 December 2003 for profanity
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Postby Lorelei » Sun Dec 28, 2003 3:15 pm

Well, I suppose she's bound to be upset that you dumped her and started seeing her best friend soon afterwards. She's obviously gay or bisexual so the time she spent with you was like any other normal relationship/ fling for her. Just because it meant nothing to you and you were only with her out of loneliness doesn't mean she can necessarily switch off from it as easily as you can. You said yourself that you thought she found you very attractive.

I presume your boyfriend knows that you were with her. If not, you should definitely tell him. I'm sure he'd be very understanding as he's close to both of you.

The way she's behaving must be very upsetting for you. It's never fun to be dumped but I think there's no excuse for her pretending to be okay with it at the time and THEN becoming abusive. She is only embarrassing herself with this irrational nonsense. Please just ignore her.

I'm sure she won't tell your friends anything. She's probably a lot more interested in you and your boyfriend than in them. If she ever did, though, I'm sure they would all support you. They wouldn't be such good friends if they would turn against you for having a sexual experience that you regret. I'm sure they've all had a few of their own.

When you do something, it always seems far worse to you than it would to other people. You assume that they care about your life as much as you do. The truth is, they don't. They have their own problems to worry about and have better things to do with their lives than judging you.

Please don't worry, you have done nothing wrong. You slept with someone, ended it and met someone new. All of that is entirely your perogative. Stop torturing yourself. Time heals all wounds and it WILL all be okay in the end!xxx
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