'Confused'!!

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'Confused'!!

Postby Emmiloo » Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:16 pm

Basically, have been with my Husband 15 years married for 7 of those, have not had sex for 6. Sounds strange but do have a good relationship with him regardless of the lack of sex, don't know how I manage!!

Anyway recently he bought a new mobile one of those video ones, I borrowed it to sent a text to a friend and had no credit on mine. What I found quite shocked me, about 50 ingoing and outgoing text vids of him and others masturbating and talking dirty to each other. the confusing part.....all men. These all being sent and received presumably from our front room after I have gone to bed.

I am totally open minded, even more so than him, but this has totally thrown me, way back when we were in our early twenties, (we are both now in our thirties), he beat a guy up because he made a pass at him.
Should I front him about it and risk totally embarrasing him or wait and see if this is going to go further.
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Postby fairy of darkness » Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:31 pm

I think confronting him is your only option. It may be that he just misses havinga sex life and so has to go about getting it this way. To be honest i think you have to talk to him or you just forget about it and if it were me i couldnt do that but honey only you nkow your husband.All the bestxxx
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Postby all_apologies » Fri Apr 08, 2005 2:07 pm

Maybe the lack of sex life is due to your husband's confusion about his sexuality. On the other hand, maybe your husband is just indulging in fantasies because the two of you are not having sex. If the latter is the case, it could be just that - a fantasy that he would never actually act upon.

I think you should confront him. You need to establish how he feels about his sexuality, and why he's feeling the need to essentially cheat on you with his mobile phone.
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A bit more of confused

Postby Emmiloo » Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:17 pm

Just to add a bit, it has always been my Husbands decision not to have sex, and a girl can only be told not tonite darling so many times, then she stops asking. To tell u the truth I think it has become a bit embarrassing for both of us, u kw a bit like a couple experiencing their first date. I guess a good steak, bottle of champers and a sexy dress is needed, bout time if only to save my own sanity. We can but try.!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Postby arwen » Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:37 pm

The only thing I would suggest is sitting down together and having a talk, nothing accusatory or resentful, just a calm discussion about where you both stand and your needs and feelings etc.
Communication is the key!
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Postby Liquidius » Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:51 pm

I think you just need to talk, not necessarily confront him about the phone straight away, but try talking to him about why you havent had sex in so long. He might open up and talk to you about it on his own first, but if he doesnt, then mentioning what you saw on the phone is a good idea.

Try to avoid arguing because it could be a sensitive subject and arguing would make it worse. He might have felt this way for a while, but couldnt think of how to tell you. On the other hand, he might just be missing your sexual relationship - and a sexy dress and some wine might go down well :D
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Postby Angel_Fairy » Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:05 am

Heya
I think you should tactically confront him. Try not to embarrass him because he won't open up to you with his thoughts. 6 yrs is a long time to go without sex for a guy in general, so i'd be relieved that he was only watching videos of peoples doing stuff, than cheating on you- so give him credit! Perhaps you should go away for the weekend, or have a romantic night in, like you may have done while you were dating, and discuss all your fantasies again, maybe he will bring it up himself why he has the videos on his phones. Maybe you could act of one of each of your fantasies, and relight the spark in bed??Perhaps??

Take care and good luck :) Chrissy xXx
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