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Postby lilessexgal » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:55 pm

well he obviously still has feelings for you. and you two sound like your suppose to be together! im glad things went great!

have you tried talking to him about feelings? because by the sounds of it if you both talked about it and stuff then you two would be a perfect match. you shouldnt think you have to live up to something just because he has done more then you because he obviously cares about you or else he would of tried to take it much further.

i definately think you should talk to him about it. and if uni does stand in your two ways well dont let it. long distance relationships can work if you care about each other enough. and you two sound like you have a lot in common.
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:34 am

ok update on llife in general... went over to said ex boyfriends house yesterday after work and it was only me and him in. i was sat chatting to him for ages while he tidied the kitchen and i thought he was not going to do anything about sunday. but hten i sort of stood up and he walked over and kissed me!! then he was holding me for ages before he got back to his jobs... so now i was like 'ok... does this men sunday wasnt a one off'

i didnt want to bring up what was happeneing with us two too soon so as not to seem pushy but it was him that brought it up. he asked what the situation actually was and i said i didnt know and asked him. he brought up the fact that hes moving to uni in september. and its one about 30 miles away so he was only planning to come back over christmas and easter. he said all this but didnt make it seem like it should affect our decision. we both decided to ask for someone elses opinion on the matter so ive done the sensible thing and asked this place where i can hopefully get as many opinions as possible!!! this could work, but it also may not. we both agreed that we cannot be friends as we are not capable of such a platonic relationship as that and everytime we try and be friends our feelings come out again...

Could this work???? xx x x x x x x x
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Postby loopylou » Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:55 am

it sounds like yous are meant to be and are still very attracted to each other and are very comfortable around each other which is anexcellent basis for a relationship.

As for the 30miles away...thats nothing! i was 100miles away from my boyfriend when i was at uni we saw each other every two weeks or so..id come back home then two weeks later hed come up then two weeks later id come back home, he drove but i didnt so i got the coach (4 hr journey)..but we made it work...and so can yous IF yous want to.

does he drive? do u drive? whats the bus or train service like around the towns youll both be in?
Yous both just have to be willing to put in the time and effort, it can be hard at times when you miss the other person, but theres always emails, text and phone calls..me and my ex used to text all day everyday.

Ive also lived 100miles away from my boyfriend that ive just split from and we saw each other every week..
everyweek probably wont be possible with him going to uni cos he needs to make a life for himself at uni..and by not getting involved then he'll be a little left out, so if yous decide to try this then try to give him a little space when he moves so that he can find his feet at uni..
remind yourself 30miles is nothing and aslong as yous are both commited to each other then yous will be able to make it work
Dont forget to keep smiling :)
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:41 pm

i think you already know what the decision should be.

i think it will work 30 miles isnt much and if the relationship is strong enough and you trust each other it shouldnt matter that he is going away to uni.

you two sound like you were ment to be and i think nothing would make you two happier then being together.

go for it girl and good luck

x x x x
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:21 pm

omg im sorry guys i meant 3oo miles :S he is technically only going to be able to come back for christmas n easter. hes just been round now and exactly the same thing happened. it was like we were back together. he said today on the internet that it was wierd because.. 'its almost like the past year didnt happen' as we have been broken up just over a year now just thought i needed to ammend that #-o
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Postby loopylou » Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:36 pm

when i was at uni in sheffield, my friend used to go home to cardiff every few weeks on a weekend (im thinking that would hvae been a few hundred miles) and we worked a pretty tough timetable unlike alot of courses, depending on his time table he might have more time off and able to leave early on fridays..
and if he wants it to work then yous will make it work..
i know 300 miles is a long way but yous can both make the effort if yous want it to work and see how it goes..

i dont think yous should really throw this away until yous have both given it ago,..talk to him about if hes prepared to make the trips thats needed to keep your relationship alive.
you can get student discount cards for trains and coaches and if you book 7 days in advance its even cheaper..
hope yous find someway of getting round this
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:50 pm

well he obviously thinks it can work so if you think it can as well and you really really like him then what's stopping you?
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:20 pm

i dont know whats stopping me really lol.. he said something today which rang a bit true to me. he said 'i dont want to get into a realationship until we are sure we are not doing this because the past year has been awful for us realtionship wise. which is sort of true because i have had the worst time over the past year with people ive dated. got my heart broken a few tmes or just not got emotionally attatched to some people who liked me more than they should have. if that makes any sense.

but i was thinkin as he said that, could it be that this past year and our awful relationships with other people are all due to the fact that the other person wasnt each other?? im sooo rambling now god knows if this makes any sense. ive just checked aa road maps online n things and its going to take me 6 hours on trains/the underground, 20 hours on coaches, and even if i do learn to drive it still takes 5 and an half hours if im doing an average of 50!! he drives but i am just starting lessons so it will be a while before i can drive that far (legally) lol. i dont want to say anything like this to him yet though as hes being very hazy on his feelings. and i want him to say something first as it seems we are both eding round the subject. x x x
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:33 pm

your not rambling lol your making perfectly good sense.

only you two can decide what you do from here then. how longs he going uni for? your relationship sounds storng i think you two should think this through carefully. i wouldnt wait for him to say something because he might be thinking the same thing. he might be waiting for you two say something and then nothings ever going to get sorted!
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Postby arwen » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:06 pm

Why not agree to try and keep your relationship up when he goes away, by seeing each other whenever you can and staying in contact by phone / email / text and just give it a go, see if it works.
If it doesn't work out you can part amicably, but you won't know until you give it a try!
No point throwing it away if it's what you both want!
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:52 pm

yeh good points guys.. thanks for all this advice you have no idea how much its helped! hes at uni for 3 years but in his 3rd year he has the offer of moving to america and studying there for a year. the friend i have talked to say that i shouldnt be looking that far ahead and to see what happens day by day. i really hope he feels the same :(
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Postby lilessexgal » Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:25 am

your friend is right see what happens day by day. remember if the relationship you two have is strong enough anything can work!

good luck hun!
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Postby JulieAndrewslovesu » Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:11 pm

From what i have read, and the way you say you are around each other, i think that you two have really got something and i don't think there is any need to worry :D . just reading your posts makes me really happy for you, and it's strange but i can just tell you will be fine 8) .

Good luck with it all, but i'm positive you won't need it =;

kisses and winks x x x :wink:
Always go with your heart, never with your gut. Afterall, you may just be hungry.

We coulda been anything that we wanted to be,
but dont it make ur heart glad?
That we decided, our fact we take pride in,
we became the best at being bad!
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Fri Jun 10, 2005 11:27 pm

thanks for that post! its made me feel better x x x

hope this works.. ive just got in from work and hes gone home to get his stuff so he can sleep over... he doesnt want to tell his parents yet though so hes making up different excuses for him to come over... tut.

i wonder when he'll want to tell people. i know it 'll be the biggest piece of news ever for people so i understand his cautiousness in the matter of letting people in.
ive told a lot of people already lol. im just happy to have what we had back and to have someone who knows me inside out to be thr for me again.

ne mre advice would be welcome wether its on starting old relationnships back up or dealing with long distance ones x x x x
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Postby Cherry Muffin » Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:52 pm

hey you guys its just me AGAIN! haha this place is becoming my lifesaver. im really upset at the moment because the guy came round last night and we decided we are back bf n gf again...

anyway heres the worries i have... firstly he tried getting a little more intimate with me again last night and (i dont know if this was because last time i was very drunk or not) but i completely clammed up and didnt want him to at all so i just moved away.

this is exactly what happened last time we were a couple and i had hoped this would have changed over the past year of us being apart but apparently not.

if you read my earlier entries this may give you some clue as to my worries on this subjct.

also i am scared of the situation i will be in once everyone finds out especially the people in his family. i have no worries they will be happy for us but for a while now i have become close with his sister we are even going on holiday together later this year.

his and her realationship is a typical sibling love-hate one to a severity. ive listened to all her problems and she has even said its nice to not have me going to his room when i come round because we always got on to an extent.

now i feel tht wen i come round i will feel torn between going to his or her room. sad i know but this whole relationship needs work and commitment and i would appreciate any help on either of my worries x x x xx
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