So Confused, its a real mess

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So Confused, its a real mess

Postby loopy_lass85 » Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:00 pm

hi im 19 yr old female living in london. and hav recently (well bout a year ago now) made some new friends who turned out to be lesbians and dnt get me rong thats not the issue. the issue is i think i may b in love with one of them. i hav always thort i was straight untill i started spendin time with her, and now i jus dont know. i still like guys so i suppose i might b bi, but this whole grey area has taken over my life and its affectin every1 around me. shes older than me and im sure she doesnt know i exsist, not in the way i want her to. it doesnt help that a total loser i was kinda involved in has told my mum i was gay so shes questionin my every move. but the thing is i havent spoke to this guy for bout a year so how wud he know. buts its all a mess i hav had ultimatiums to choose between this woman and other ppl and its really gettin to me. i wanna spend all my time with her, but shes got no idea how i feel. is this a crush? is this love? am i goin thru a phase? or am i bi? all these questions are swimmin around in my head and i dont know how to figure out the answer.

any advice wud be so helpful, i cant seem to make ne sense of things.

thanx XxX
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Postby GurlRock » Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:55 pm

When people come across people who turn out to be gay it can be confusing. You wonder what it is like to be gay so you think of it.
You start to think you are gay by the end of it!
POWW
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Postby loopy_lass85 » Mon Jun 13, 2005 1:07 pm

i know what u mean i hav talked my self into thinkin im gay, straight and bi so many times over the past few months im startin to do drive myself mad. i hav always been open minded and wud neva not considered sleepin with a woman but i had no feelins or a woman but now well i think shes perfect. i hav been readin past posts bout ppl who r confused bout their sexuality and i know its gonna take time for me to figure out if i am bi or gay or this is a phase. i hav only told 1 person bout this other woman and it was her although i used a different name age location so she has no idea who it really is. i guess i jus want all the answers now coz i hate the way im feelin.
thanx
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby JulieAndrewslovesu » Mon Jun 13, 2005 4:18 pm

iv been in this situation, but i knew that i was gay for... well, forever.

i didnt really notice this girl at my school and id been there for 4 years and never spoken to her. i knew that she was gay but never really thought about it, until it came to the point were i kinda started talking to her. it was just the odd hello and smile in the corridor, but i really started to like her. we got closer during a school show, and she started flirting with me because she was openly gay, but i wasnt. the thing was i really liked her, and was rapidly falling in love with her but didnt know if it was just because i knew she was gay and i was eager to test whether i was or not, or i was having these feelings because i really did like her.

in the end i told her i was gay one night while we wer in a pub and she was really pleased. she has messed me about alot since then but the fact is here that i realised it wasnt just an infatuation, i really loved her. and i think your probably coming down with the same thing. my advice is to tell her how you feel, take her out one night, get drunk and just let it 'slip out'. it worked for me.

but just a word of warning. by no means does this apply to every lesbian, but i have noticed that all lesbians seem to come with complications which are so stressful. just tread carefully and dont be too reckless with your heart.

hope this helps

x x x
Always go with your heart, never with your gut. Afterall, you may just be hungry.

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Postby Moose » Mon Jun 13, 2005 6:50 pm

JulieAndrewslovesu wrote:but just a word of warning. by no means does this apply to every lesbian, but i have noticed that all lesbians seem to come with complications which are so stressful. just tread carefully and dont be too reckless with your heart.


I have also found that girls I have been with have come with big complications, but I reckon that's more to do with the whole situation - it's not really easy to go with someone who's the same sex as you, particularly when you're younger, because it's often either the other person's or your first time, and it can be confusing - did you like it? Was it awful? Is it wrong? What will people think?

The whole thing is enough to drive you insane, and I (and loads of others on this site) can vouch for that.

What did this woman say when you told her about liking another woman? I don't think you should rush into telling her you like her, but why not try spending more time with her on a one to one basis? Just as friends. That way, you can see if you're comfortable spending time with her, and you can hopefully find out of she likes you.

You don't need to rush into a decision just yet.
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Postby loopy_lass85 » Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:53 am

well at first i did the whole "they r wonderful" "they r great" and then she asked me is this person male or female. so i told her, felame and she sed thort so. ppl say we flirt a lot but i dnt think we do. she was real supportive with the fact i sed i likes woman.
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby JulieAndrewslovesu » Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:55 am

i think the only thing you can do here is tell her how you feel. try as hard as you can to get close to her and then tell her when the time is right. whats the worst that could happen?
Always go with your heart, never with your gut. Afterall, you may just be hungry.

We coulda been anything that we wanted to be,
but dont it make ur heart glad?
That we decided, our fact we take pride in,
we became the best at being bad!
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Postby loopy_lass85 » Tue Jun 14, 2005 3:35 pm

i know this sounds a stupid question but how will i know when the time is rite?

thanx 4 all ur help guys u hav been great
XxX
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby JulieAndrewslovesu » Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:16 pm

you just do, believe me, you'll know when it arrives. you'll probably get to the stage where you want to tell her so much that it'l just burst out. all you can do for now is get close to her.

x x x
Always go with your heart, never with your gut. Afterall, you may just be hungry.

We coulda been anything that we wanted to be,
but dont it make ur heart glad?
That we decided, our fact we take pride in,
we became the best at being bad!
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