am i that invisible

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am i that invisible

Postby loopy_lass85 » Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:52 pm

i just dont understand y she cant see me! i feel so invisiable to her, imso into this woman (who is much older than me) shes fantastic but compleatly out of my reach shes a lesbian and its only recently i have been thinking im am bi, im was shocked at these feelings at first but no its become second nature ive realised whether im gay straight or bi im me at the end if the day. i just feel so down that she cant see me how i see her, she will neva look at me and think im the most fantastic personin the world. she will neva look forward to see me, she'll neva hav the butterflies that i hav wen were r minutes from seein each other. and every time i think of these things i feel so gutted and empty. she has no idea how i feel we r jus gud mates, what makes it worse is my mum and my best friend accused us of sleepin 2 gether i just laugh it off because we r not but its the 1 thing i want more than anything.

we get on so well she lays across me on the sofa we chat till all hours of the mornin wen i stay round there but i know 4 a fact she doesnt see me as anything more as a friend and knowing that for sure hurts really bad i just want to know i cant she see me i hav always been shy and i know i hav no self confidence and a low opinion of my self (we hav an ex to thank 4 that) but hav no idea how to correct them. i jus cant stand it to know that im invisible.

L XxX
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby Lorelei » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:32 am

How can you say you're invisible to her?
She obviously cares about you a lot, and really enjoys your company!
How can you be so sure that she will never see you in the same way that you see her? Has she said so?
Could this be your low self-esteem talking?
I don't tend to lay across my platonic friends on the sofa! :lol:
Maybe she does like you, maybe she doesn't... But if, by any chance, she does, she might well be holding back for fear of damaging your friendship, or because of the age difference.
Perhaps you need to make it a little bit more obvious how you feel. Try complimenting her more, or invite her out to dinner, and see how she reacts.
If you can possibly work up the courage to do so, you could say something in conversation, like: "Do you think we'd make a good couple?" You sound as if you're very close friends, and I'm sure your friendship would withstand a bit of honesty, even if it turns out that she doesn't want a romantic relationship.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!xxx
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Postby singingsmiler » Mon Jul 25, 2005 9:34 am

hey hun,
Seems as if she really values you as a person - that's for sure.
You say that she is a lot older than you - could this be a reason why talk of a relationship hasn't come up?
Maybe she isn't sure of your feelings?
There is no way that she hasn't noticed you and doesn't care about you... maybe you should tread softly and see what happens...
Hugs
SS xx
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Postby brielle » Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:59 pm

I think its great you have such a loving friend, it does sound to me that you both want more from this relationship, ( not anyone can just lie across a friend on the sofa ), well I have some good friends but a cuddle when we meet up sort of thing, and say goodbye, usually does,!

Do you think the age gap maybe getting in the way at the moment,..... I mean you already know she is lesbian, and you have feelings too, so try not to put yourself down, trust in your own judgement a bit more, she must like you a lot anyway, ....so good luck, :)
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Postby loopy_lass85 » Tue Jul 26, 2005 1:13 am

i think the age gap is a huge thing its bout 14yrs, but we get on so well i think another major factor is she gud mates with my mum as well (they work 2gether) and my mum has confided in her about how she thinks im gay or bi. its jus we are so comfortable around each other i mean when im round there we chat and she lays with her head on my lap and i scratch her back but i know she only wants to be my friend because she talks about this 1 woman who shes completly obsessed by so i know there is nothing but friendship for me. which i suppose is better than nothing. i just want to know how long these feeling will last and when they will fade, i cant keep feeling like this it really does hurt. does any one have any good tips for gettind over unrequited love

L
XxX
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby Moose » Tue Jul 26, 2005 6:50 pm

Two things:-

1. My other half (a woman - and I'm a woman too) is a massive 21 years my senior.

2. Do you know who the woman she is obsessed with is? Have you ever considered that it might be someone really close to home? Like you for example??!
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Postby loopy_lass85 » Wed Jul 27, 2005 1:35 pm

icould only ever wish it was me she was obsessed with but i know the other woman, in a cruel twist of fate i hav become my friends relationship guru and she tells me whats happend between them and asks my advice. i think i just need to move on but how is the major question

oh my god OH MY GOD its now 2.39AM and im chattin to her online and shes been asked out by sum1 not even the 1 she likes and shes sed yes and is tellin me everything, god my heart has been ripped out and laid in front of me, god this hurts nut in a numb kinda way

ok my new mission is to get over her (finally)
guys i need ur help, how do i do this?

L
XxX
i wish i were a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can u b unhappy wen the sun shines out ur bum!
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Postby brielle » Thu Jul 28, 2005 7:44 pm

maybe not have anything to do with her anymore,.....she sounds like she may be using you for support, herself, which is ok, we all do that, but trouble is your almost keeping this big, secret from her, that you have feelings for her, so its a bit one sided.

I think what maybe you should do is either let her know how you feel, or just cut her off for good. for your own peace of mind. good luk.
we will sit upon the rocks,
and see the sheperds feed their flocks
by shallow rivers, to whose falls
melodious birds sing madrigals.
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Postby Lorelei » Thu Jul 28, 2005 8:32 pm

Perhaps not seeing so much of her is a good idea. In the future, when you're over her, maybe things can go back to normal, but for now, spending a lot of time alone with her is just going to be torture. See more of your other friends and get out and about and meet new people. You may not be ready to date anyone else for a little while, but it's important to prove to yourself that she's not the only attractive woman in the world! Hope you're okay, petal!xxx
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