Im going crazy.

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Im going crazy.

Postby malemariah » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:28 pm

Im 22 and gay.I met this guy at a party 3 years ago.We got very drunk and ended up in bed together.We never had intercourse,but did oral.The next morning he phoned all his mates and told them about what happened,and that night we went clubbing and I told him I fancied him.He completely freaked out.He said he was'nt gay and that he just wants to be mates.Whenever we met up we'd get drunk and end up kissing and cuddling eachother again.I did'nt mind coz I was falling for him and he was so handsome.He always said he'd be with me if he turned gay,and we always agreed that there was chemistry between us.We kinda stopped and saw eachother less and less.Sometimes we would'nt see eachother for 5 months at a time,coz he moves houses alot and we lose touch.Everytime we did meet up though we always ended up talking about it,but instead of getting drunk and kissing,we got drunk and started fighting instead.The last time we met up we went to a gay bar and he was kissing and dancing with a gay lad.I was so hurt and confused coz he said he was straight.He stands me up sometimes and says cruel things.He says he does it so I'll get over him.But its been 3 years and Im still not over him.When we're apart I dream about him,and when we're together we have this amazing connection and chemistry.I love him so much.Can anybody help?
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Postby Lorelei » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:40 pm

Your friend sounds pretty confused about his sexuality. There is no reason that he has to decide if he's gay or straight, but his uncertainty might be upsetting him. Perhaps he is aggressive and hurtful towards you because he is struggling with his sexual orientation, and is projecting his frustration onto you.

You really can't help him with this. He has to decide what he wants, and he does not seem to be open to a relationship with you. Your attachment to him is clearly preventing you from moving on and meeting somebody more available to you. If you want to get over him, you really need to stop meeting up with him every so often for these intense get-togethers.

I understand how confusing it must be that he seems to have enjoyed being intimate with you, yet he denies being attracted to you. It really is his problem, not yours. If he wants you to get over him, he should leave you alone. If you want to get over him, you need to do the same. After three years of this, it is unlikely that you and he can be friends in the foreseeable future, without you being hurt. I hope you can move on and find happiness. xxx
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Postby peecee » Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:22 am

Don't you have a partner? Where does he fit in with all this, me dear?
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