RE: lesbian feelings

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RE: lesbian feelings

Postby piper1692 » Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:51 am

For a couple of weeks now I've been thinking about what it would be like to be with a girl instead of a boy. I don't feel like I can talk to my mum or nana and stepdad about it. We've never had any gays or lesbians in our family, not even bisexuals. Is this part of growing up or do I have to accept I'm bisexual?
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Postby Moose » Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:04 am

You certainly don't need to resign yourself to a life of being gay just yet. Are you about 13/14? Although it may be the start of something, the chances are you're just experimenting in your head with different ideas. Are there any girls that you fancy?

Please don't work yourself up worrying over this. I bet if you were to put a poll at the start of this thread asking how many people have ever thought about being with someone of the same sex, the majority would vote yes, but most of them would be straight, if you see what I mean.
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Postby piper1692 » Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:10 am

I've just asked my mum if she ever had lesbian feelings and she said no. I'm fourteen this month. I don't know what's a matter with me.
La, la, la. I don't know what to type. Um, well, I like circuit training. But not running! I can't stand running! Not even for the bus, will I run!
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Postby PurePurple » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:00 pm

Do you ever find yourself jealous of what other features girls have?
Sometimes it can be like that growing up, im 14 next month, and i often wish i have what other girls have.
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Postby gatekeeper » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:04 pm

yea, or it could be because you've had bad experiences with men. Like the others have said, it could be part of growing up and sometimes you'd like some things that other girls have e.g. height.
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Postby piper1692 » Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:00 pm

I don't think so. I used to be completely desperate to get a boyfriend, but now I just don't see the whole point of them existing. Being with a girl seems nice.

My mum is a homphobe, I think. We had a discussion and she said she would cry hysterically if I said I was a lesbian or a bisexual. I've always got angry when people call each other gay, because I see nothing wrong with it. I've never really been jealous of girls before, just thought they were pretty.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately and that sort of lifestyle appeals to me. Am I a lesbian or bisexual?

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions. It's just my mum and stepfather don't like gays and my dad is dead. My friends are forever accusing people of being lesbians and gays even if you say, That colour suits you. I just feel so alone and I can't help but wonder about my sexuality. I'm really sorry if I'm getting on people's nerves, I just need help. Sorry.
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Postby Liquidius » Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:06 pm

Just because you're thinking about it, it doesn't mean that you are necessarily bisexual or gay. I think everyone on here has considered their sexuality at some point, and probably more than once. Some people find the best way to find out is experiment...

I just don't think you should be worrying about labelling your sexuality, especially if you're not sure! Just see how things go!
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Postby PoisonedWounds » Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:27 pm

Don't panic yet! You're only young and many people do go through a phase of being uncertain about their sexuality, and even if you are gay, it's certainly not a bad thing and I'm sure, eventually, your mum would come round as you are her daughter!

Don't worry huney and I hope you feel better soon :)
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Postby lilessexgal » Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:23 pm

yeah you might be going through a phaze of curiosity because of your age so you dont need to decide yet how you feel.

in a few years to decide weather you are you have just got to ask yourself do i like girls? do i like boys? do i like both? but take your time dont rush into things. dont let the fact your mum doesnt like the idea get in your way.

like you say there is absolutly nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual so if that is how you end up feeling go for it and dont keep it locked up that is the worst possible thing to do.

but at 14 i would just take things slowly because like i said it could just be a phaze.
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Postby psycho*jadey » Sun Feb 19, 2006 5:30 pm

i used to feel like that a lot. i had loads of weird feelings about girls. and i was always comfortable with lesbians when nobody else was. then i tried it. i got a gf. and now im really happy with her. i think you need to find a way to find out for sure. it'll stop you wondering
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
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Postby Moose » Sun Feb 19, 2006 6:06 pm

psycho*jadey wrote: i think you need to find a way to find out for sure. it'll stop you wondering


You don't necessarily have to leap into bed with the first willing girl in order to find out if you're lesbian. Piper, I think you need to tread carefully with this, especially if your mates are all against gays etc. School is not the best place to experiment with your sexuality, and unless the situation arises, I would strongly advise sitting back and seeing where your feelings take you. Like lilessexgal said, you don't need to decide yet (not that it's actually your decision!)

Another thing: if you can't talk to your friends, and you want to vent, do it on here - don't worry about annoying people or whatever. I wish there had been websites around like this when I was going through what you are, because I think it would have made such a difference and I wouldn't have felt so on my own. Keeping it to yourself makes the feelings escalate, and you'll spend all your time worrying about it.
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Postby LICKLELEA » Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:09 pm

Piper, it is completely natural to question your sexuality and you probably will do this a few times in your life, as liquiduis said.

When you look at girls is it that you appreciate that they are pretty or do you feel physically attracted to them? I mean you could just be bi-curious and there is nothing wrong with thinking about what it would be like to kiss a girl.

I have friends who used to go out and get drunk and kiss each other, it was never a big deal between them, I on the other hand have never kissed a girl but have thought about it before (when I was younger), I don't think I ever could go through with it in the end!.

Don't involve your friends in how you are feeling if they behave that way.

It just shows to me that you are probably more mature mentally and physically than any of the people you hang around with. Give yourself time and don't rush in to things and I'm sure your friends will catch up with you soon and stop calling each other names! :roll:
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