Sexuality - HELP!

For any problems related to sexuality, coming out & gay relationships.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Sexuality - HELP!

Postby MillieB » Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:25 pm

Hi,

I'm a 17 year old girl. I have always thought I was bisexual and it has never been a problem because I was happy to chill out and see what and who life dealt me.Now, I think that was because I was in a relationship with a guy. Now, I'm not sure. It is starting to take over my mind, and I'm getting really down because I can't work myself out. I seem to develop HUGE crushes on girls, yet I seem more picky with girls. There aren't many girls I think I would sleep with. Then again there aren't many guys that I don't soon grow restless of, and feel boredwith. I think I am bisexual, but this worries me because I've heard that the Lesbian community does not readily accept Bi girls in the way they do lesbians. I know this may sound like over reacting, but for some reason its getting to me, and I'm now suffering from anxiety. I would like to hear from Bi girls on how they feel they are treat by the Lesbian community, and from Lesbians about how they feel about Bi's. I'm proud of my sexuality, I'm just confused. Also, does my lack of intimacy with men suggest I'm more gay?
Finally, I think its a bad idea to come out to my parents before I'm even remotley sure of myself, if they had a bad reaction surely it would make things worse. Am I right?
If any Gay or Bi girls would like to talk to me, I'd be so grateful. I really think I need help. My head is in a mess.

Thanks,

Love Millie

xxx
MillieB
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:16 pm

Postby innocent » Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:47 pm

In a way i know what you're going through i thought i was bisexual and at one stage even went off guys all together. I did tell my mum about it and she didnt seem to mind although now i have a boyfriend i am still feel attracted to some of my mates but if i was being honest i would say i am attracted to him more. One of my best mates is a lesbian and when i told her that i thought i was bi she thought maybe i was just experimenting and was a little narrow minded towards bi people because she didnt understand how you can be attracted to both male and female. But you can't say she speaks for all lesbians. My advice would be to just hold on before you tell your parents, because some people do grow out of the phase meanwhile you could tell a close friend and its a good idea to talk to more bisexuals and lesbians.
Gud luck neways. xx
User avatar
innocent
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 283
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 7:18 pm
Location: N.Ireland
Gender: Female

Postby MillieB » Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:55 pm

Thanks. Yeah the feeling I;ve got from my lesbian mates is that I'm not serious about girls. But I am. probably more so than guys. I think there's a special bond I feel with women, that I can't seem to find with guys. Just this is all new to me, and I'm trying to find my feet.
I;d appreciate more views.
xxx
MillieB
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:16 pm

Postby Moose » Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:33 pm

Hi Millie,

Found a few similar topics that you might not have had a chance to find yet on here.

I'm bi as well, and I've known for ever really, but have only really fully accepted it since moving out of home three years ago. I don't spend much time with other gay, lesbian, or bi people in real life (although I do have a girlfriend), but over the last three years I've spent (too much!) time on other forums where gay and lesbians are the norm. This is good in a way, but there are often sarky comments made to bi people on there, and you can often sense a hierarchy - gays/lesbians at the top, bi people in the middle, and straight people waaaay down at the bottom!

For that reason, I've never posted on any of the forums/message boards I've visited.

I went to my first gay pub over the new year and I was expecting to feel like I'd come home in a way - but no. It just felt really odd and I don't think I've ever felt so straight in all my life!

I personally prefer to hang around with people (real life and virtually) who are just people - not necessarily gay or straight or bi. The good thing about PP is that it's really rare for people to get judged on stuff like this, and you can experiment with being yourself without worrying, which is particularly good when you're just finding yourself.

As for your lesbian mates, just keep talking to them normally.Don't feel you've got to try to prove to them that you really do like women: you don't have to.
User avatar
Moose
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2003
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:41 pm
Location: A forest
Gender: Female

Postby ohwell » Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:53 pm

Hi
I am glad you have aired your probs on the page because like most people who have replied to you I to feel odd about my sexuality. I am a fella, which probably not what you were expecting to chat about your situation but I just want 2 say that if you want to chayt about this sexual confusion I would love to share with you because it would me and hopefully you as well. see ya gav
ohwell
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:01 pm
Location: lancashire

Postby psycho*jadey » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:27 pm

hey. im 15 and recently came out as being bi. i dont think lesbians have too much of a problem with bis. if they do its probably a personal thing, not general.
i think lack of intimacy with a guy might just show that you feel more comfortable around girls. or you just havent met a nice enough guy. and i would try and figure out how your parents feel about bis/lesbians before you tell them. mine dont know because iv noticed they have a really negative attitude towards it. i do wanna tell them but i dunno how. if you feel fine with telling them then do it cos itll probably make things a lot easier for you.
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
psycho*jadey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:04 pm
Location: scunthorpe

Postby MillieB » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:33 pm

Thanks guys. :) Good advice so far.
MillieB
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:16 pm

Postby x.honey.x » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:39 pm

It is perfectly natural for men and women at some stage intheir life to have feelings towrds the same sex. This does not mean that you are definately 100% a lesbian. Quite often it could just be curiosity, some may think it but never act on it, some may try and hate it, some may try and like it as equally as having sex with the opposite sex and some may try it and love it and never look back.

I am speaking from experience. I absolutly loved men all my life, however when I was in a relationship with them I never felt comfortable and there was always something missing. But even since primary school I had feeling for females, but at the time I was too young to know what they were or even what was going on. I never realised what that was until I was 16 and a half and things happened unplanned with a female friend or mine (I'm female by the way) we hadnt had a sip to drink, it just happened but it felt totally right even though it was both our first times with someone of the same sex. For a while after that I was confused, I kept thinking to myself oh my god what happened here then but at the same time it felt right. After a while I relaised I must be bi. I carried on dating men but secretly I suppose I prefered women, I just never knew where to go to meet them or how to tell anyone. Things happened on and off with women and I got to the stage where I just hated doing anything sexually at all with a man.

In 2003/2004 I got talking to a girl on the internet. We lost touch for quite a while but got chatting again in Dec 2004 by which time she had a boyfriend. We spoke everyday by text or on the net and you could tell by what was sent in the messages that we both liked eachother. She was going off her bloke and eventually in March 2005 she ended it with him, not long after that we met up and got on so well. A Year later I am still with her, in my happiest and longest relationship ever. I've lived with her and her 2 children for coming upto a year now, so you can see we didnt waste anytime. We even got engaged on Xmas Day 2005.

Anyway enough about me. Please promise not to worry if you get feelings towards the same sex again. It doesnt mean you are definately a lesbian/bi, its probably just curiosity. Anyway good luck. Hope all this helps.
Plz reply asap.
Take care.
Love Amber
xXx
User avatar
x.honey.x
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:08 pm
Location: Ipswich


Return to Sexuality

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest