help! my girlfriend said she's bi-curious

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help! my girlfriend said she's bi-curious

Postby thisisnotmylife » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:45 am

questioning her randomly i asked whether she would have sex with another girl, and she said she would. she said she didnt really want to, but given a chance she would try it. i know most guys take this oppurtunity to have a threesome, but honestly i am sickened by the thaught of her having any phsycal fiasco with a girl. she says she loves me, and i love her, but she does not want to talk aout this whole bi-curious thing very much. i suggested that she have sex with a girl to make up her mind, but she says she doesent WANT to, but she would do it for a laugh if the oppurtunity came.
this just sickens me so much, please, what should i do? is here any way to stop her curiosity? i'll do ANYTHING!

p.s
i am a straight male who does not consider any gay sex or relationships, nor do i consider a relationship with another girl, just mygirlfriend who i love dearly.
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Postby amanda11 » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:54 am

am a straight male who does not consider any gay sex or relationships, nor do i consider a relationship with another girl, just mygirlfriend who i love dearly.


you never even think about sex with another woman???!! even when you're "alone" if you know what i mean???!!! if so, then you're the only man on the planet who doesn't. just because you are in a relationship with her doesn't mean she is going to stop being sexually attracted to other people... be that men or women... it doesn't mean she loves you any less.

men are very different to women when it comes to sexuality, most men find the idea of sexual relations with another man repulsive... most women just find the idea of another woman a curiosity (doesn't make us gay, or even bisexual)... we're more open with our sexuality in that way. its not just your girlfriend, its pretty much all girls.
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Postby thisisnotmylife » Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:08 am

why the hell wasnt i told all girls where like this a long time ago? still.... why the hell did she have to blurt out that she's bi-curious? does she feel i MUST know? she also said she would do it with her friend.... i love her, but when she talks like this....i hate her. i just want my girl to be STRAIGHT. what if she is completely bi? do i always get the psychologically unstable girls? im so annoyed......


edited by all_apologies for profanity
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Postby forever_in_love » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:31 am

Ok! Calm down.....please!You were questioning her, she merely answered and on further questioning said she didn't want to try it, it would just be for a laugh! All this shows is that she is not repulsed by it! If she was 'curious' then she would be more actively seeking it out! As the others have said most girls think this way! It doesn't make her mentally unstable! If you can't cope with an open, modern woman then get out of the relationship but don't put her down or brand her abnormal!
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Postby thisisnotmylife » Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:31 am

ok, that was silly of me. i shouldnt diss her like that. i take it back. so then, as far as i know she's not actively seeking it out. if she DID then that would be going behind my back, no? you are supposed to be faithful right? she did say before that she did look at girls in THAT way,....sounds like much more than curiosity to me. she said she stopped looking at them like that for a while, but when i was questioning her she said she is starting to fancy girls again.....?????? now what? sometimes it's like she just having a laugh like all girls do, and sometimes she talks as if she's COMPLETELY bi?????? god...........and she says SHE'S confused? i just don't understand and i'm a little scared....
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Postby lidopig » Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:58 am

As a male,I definately think you've got issues.Maybe it's something in your past,or subconsciously you have doubts about your own sexuality.To me,your girlfriend seems entirely normal,but you seem to be developing a fixation about her perceived sexuality.Forget about it,or you may just end up losing the girl you love.If you can't,move on,and try looking for that perfect girl that matches up to your expectations.Good luck,because she probably doesn't exist!
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Postby all_apologies » Fri Apr 28, 2006 9:28 am

I agree with the others that have posted. By the sounds of it, your girlfriend has absolutely no intention of getting with another girl. She simply answered a question that you asked her. She carried on to say she doesn't even think about girls that way, it's just something she wouldn't necessarily rule out entirely.

Go back and read your own posts - all the answers you need are already there, and it seems you've got absolutely nothing to worry about.
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Postby gatekeeper » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:06 pm

At least she's honest about it. A lot of women can't tell their partners about their fantasies or be completely honest with them. You obviously have a very loving, trusting relationship with her. Treasure it.
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Postby thisisnotmylife » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:53 pm

well, it's just a great fear of losing her. i understand now that like 80% of modern girls are like this. well, i might be seeing her tonight, should i say nothing more about it? just continue and hope to god i have no more problems? (lads are always trying to steal her from me). so yeah, when i see her, should i say nothing more, and never find out how she truly is? i'm hoping she's just straight and curious.
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Postby gatekeeper » Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:05 pm

The thing about some girls is that lads can try steal them, but if they don't want to leave, they won't leave. I'm one of them. I won't love him less just because someone better comes along. The memories we had together cannot be forgotten so easily. I believe your gf is a loyal person, learn how to trust her and treasure the wonderful relationship you have with her.
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Postby all_apologies » Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:36 pm

Whether your girlfriend is straight or bi makes no difference to whether she'll be faithful to you. From what you've said, I honestly don't think she's bisexual, but even if she is it doesn't automatically make her an unfaithful person. If you want to bring anything up with her, I'd suggest just talking over your concerns about trust in general, and not necessarily about her saying she could be bi-curious.
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Postby psycho*jadey » Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:41 pm

thisisnotmylife wrote: i just want my girl to be STRAIGHT. what if she is completely bi?


what is wrong with a girl expressing her feelings? so she might like girls. so what?! she's with you. maybe you're just being insecure but she's with you! you're just gonna push her away if you make her feel uncomfortable about it. and correct me if im wrong but being bisexual means that she likes girls AND guys. so it's not like she doesn't love you or anything. personally i think you're over reacting. just having thoughts about it does not mean shes gonna leave you for a girl or anything. try to be more understanding
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
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Postby X_Smiler_X » Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:55 am

Your girl has been honest with you - that's the main thing. Ok, so you find it shocking, but hun, it isn't the end of the world.
I don't think she is bisexual, She's being like any other girl would be - wondering what it would be like.

Just because she thinks this way doesn't mean she will run off with someone new - she loves you - be grateful for that.

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Postby thisisnotmylife » Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:55 pm

my god, she thaught i was paranoyed that i thaught she was a lesbian. i dont think this at all. no wonder she doesent talk to me so much since monday.... all the mushy stuff has gone, she just talks to me like a random friend at the moment.

how do i stop this? i'm supposed to make her feel loved, and instead im messing with her head, making her feel pushed away for being normal.

...i'm such an idiot...

edited by all_apologies: the swearing filter is there for a reason
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Postby forever_in_love » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:15 pm

You're not an idiot at all! You are just someone who got a shock! I think you seem to be getting more used to the idea now anyway and realise that she is not going to leave u for a girl or anyone else. Is that right? If so..i think you need to tell her that! If you really want this to work, u need to reassure her that you love every part of her and that u trust that she will be faithful to her as you are to her! You maybe made her a bit insecure in the relationship and you need to replace that! But first stop blaming yourself, that won't do anyone any good!!
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