Is He Really Straight?

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Is he really straight?

YES- Most Definately STRAIGHT (Straight as the M1)
0
No votes
NO - Definaely NOT. Straight Hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men, even for money
1
6%
He MIGHT be. He is probably confused over his own sexuality and does not want to admit it because he feels ashemed
2
11%
NO - He is Bi Sexual
2
11%
NO - He IS Gay. Straight hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men even for money
1
6%
He is a STRAIGHT Hetrosexual Male Prostitue.
9
50%
Not really sure. I would need to know more about him before I could submit a vote
3
17%
 
Total votes : 18

Postby Squeak » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:20 pm

Hey,

I must admit I feel so sorry for you after reading your problem. It sounds as though you've got yourself caught in a hideous situation. I know it's very, very hard, but I think the advice you've had so far has been great, and that you should act upon it. I know it's going to take a lot of strength on your part to finish it with him, but I'm sure in your heart of hearts you know it has to be that way.

I really wish I could say something positive about this man, but I'm so sorry to say that I can't. I think you need to end it once and for all with him, because he will destroy you mentally, not to mention financially. It already seems as though he has shattered your self esteem, so much so that he can verbally abuse you, virtually steal your money from you, yet you still love him.

I would finish it with him by text. To be frank, he doesn't deserve any more of your time, so spending it talking to him on the phone should be avoided. It'll also be easier on you to text rather than phone. At least he won't be able to talk his way round you. I know it seems the cowards way out to text, but generally that applies to a once loving relationship that has finished. This man doesn't deserve any consideration from you. I'd also ignore any further communication from him - similarly if he turns up at your house I wouldn't answer the door. Have you any friends you could lean on for support right now? Could they take you out for the night once you've let him know, or be on hand if he does show up at your house?

I know its really hard, and I know that you love him, but for your own sake you need to get away from this man before he breaks you any more. Are there any groups in your area that can help? I know you've probably heard all the old chestnuts like joining a college course, volunteer work, but it really can help.

I hope you can find the strength to change your life. He's ruining any chance of happiness that you could have with someone that could love you the way you want to be loved.

Take care, and good luck...
Squeak x

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Postby welshchick » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:22 pm

Personally I think your being a fool to yourself. Take a good hard look at what you have written, if a friend or some random stranger just like myself had written that Im sure you would be full of idea's of why it's not right and to end the "relationship"! At the end of the day what normal person would take all your money, most probably knowing you carnt afford your bills but still usesing you in this manner!! I think with reference to being gay or not I would say he's not gay I'm sorry. He's got an easy ticket with you for lots of things and with nobody knowing his wicked ways he's walking from you laughing........ at YOUR expense!! Just end all contact with him coz im sure he'll find his next victim soon enough. Sorry if this reply seems harsh but maybe something harsh may possibly make you "Wake up and smell the roses". Feel free to PM if you need any advice and I really hope you end this sordid "relationship" and find someone who loves, cares, respects, and would do anything for YOU and only YOU!!!!!
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:49 pm

Can I just say a massive THANK YOU to all of you who have replied to my problem so far. I am totally overwhelmed that there are so many kind people out there willing to offer advice. I am new to this Forum, and to receive such help from total strangers is totally amazing. You have all been so kind and I am comforted by the fact that you have all been totally honest, even if you have been blunt and to the point. I think this is what I have been waiting to hear.

Can I just clarify one point which I think I may have misled you with in my first posting, but have now edited to show the correction.

He is not actually married. He is engaged and has been for the past four, well almost five years....about the same time as I have known him actually, so he must have met her shortly before he met me. He has two young children, both little girls from a previous relationship, but not a failed marriage. In as far as I am aware he has never been married, but then again he may have been. If he has he has kept that little detail secret from me.

I was expecting to hear from him today, if only by text message, but there has been nothing. And this is quite unusual for him, as it does not fit in with his normal pattern. I never hear from him on a weekend as this is the time when he sees his children who for the rest of the week are with their mother, his EX. But he does usually make contact with me on a Monday to send me my 'Texting Curfew Times' for the week ahead, but for some reason today he has not. If I send him a text without permission he goes into an absolute rage, or so it would appear from his texted reply to me.

I have spent the past two days, well apart from when I have been posting on here, composing a very long email to him, telling him just exactley how I feel and that I can no longer afford him basically, and that I think it is time we called it a day. I have put down all my feelings, stuff that I just don't know if I could tell him face to face, but each time I hover the cursor over the 'send' button, I hesitate and save it to the Drafts Folder. I know that is stupid, but this is how mixed up I am right now. Well, maybe not as mixed up as I was, thanks to some of the extremely helpful advice I have received, but I am sure you will understand that it just does not seem to be as easy as I would like it to be.

He has been a part of my life for the past five years nearly, ok, that is not a very long time I guess in real terms, but it seems like it is. I met him when he was 26 years old, a mere lad, and now he is 31 years old, a young man. he has said to me that I will not 'fancy' him as he gets older so that one day this will all come to an end anyway, so maybe now is as good a time as any. Maybe he wants to end this himself? He has told me that he is now finding it increasingly difficult to make up a 'story' to explain his dissapearance for the day and that it is stressing him out.

I was wondering if I simply emailed him that if that is the case, and as I do not want to see him stressed then maybe he should stop seeing me? Do you think that might work? What do you think his reaction might be? Will he agree and say it is fine, or will he try to give reasons to justify us continuing? As someone said, I do not think he woulld be happy if he knew the money pot was about to be sealed up for good. So what might his reaction be? Would he agree do you think, or would he email me back with reasons why we should continue, or might he just turn up at my door?
Yes I DO have a female friend I could call upon to be with me here if he did, but the question is, WHEN would he turn up? I would need to give her at least 12 hours notice as she has her own family.

However, if I did just send a simple email as mentione above, it would be simple and to the point and at least I would be cutting the 'apron strings' so to speak as painfully as possible and as quickly as possible. I don't think I really want him to know how much 'hurt' and 'pain' he has caused me...as he may 'get off' on that, I don't know.

Someone suggested that I meet him face to face and tell him it is over, but I think that I would find that so hard to do, and seeing him, his reaction, no matter what that might be, might only cause me even more heartache. Of course I might not hear from him at all this week....which is what happened last week, apart form a text at midnight on Thursday to confirm we would still be meeting on Friday...and that is just not like him. So maybe I will not hear from him until the evening before our next planned meeting in September?

It has taken me a long time to write this message as I keep going back to the drafted email and making alterations, additions and deletions.

Anyway, thank you everyone. But please keep posting if you feel I would benefit from your advice. The more of you on here that feel I should get rid, the more I am likely to convince myself that I should, which I simply cannot bring myself to do at the moment.
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Postby all_apologies » Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:56 am

I've submitted the poll you set up in your other thread, but I just want to reiterate what some others have brought up in this thread. I don't think your main concern should be establishing whether or not this guy is gay. Sexuality is not always straightforward, he himself may not even know what he is. We can give our opinions, but at the end of the day, none of us can tell you his orientation. Either way, don't let it be your concern. Concentrate on the fact you're being used and treated really badly, and try your hardest to cut all ties with him, as you have been trying to do.
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Postby lidopig » Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:29 am

Not a very scientific poll I'm afraid.Two of the questions are identical.Four out of the five questions are looking for a gay/bisexual selection.No prizes for guessing what result you're looking for,then!
As all_apologies so rightly says.no one knows his sexuality,but it has absolutely nothing to do with his terrible tratment of you.What really frightens me is that if he "came out" to you and said he was gay,and that he loved you :^o (I've been longing to use that emoticon!) that would excuse his frankly psychopathic behaviour and treatment of you,or would justify it.
Your obsession with his sexuality is in my honest opinion a question of a "drowning man clutching at straws." You've read all the advice.No one has got a single good word to say about this man oe the relationship you have with him.We can't ALL be wrong.PLEASE take our advice and save yourself before it's too late.
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:08 am

lidopig wrote:Not a very scientific poll I'm afraid.Two of the questions are identical.Four out of the five questions are looking for a gay/bisexual selection.No prizes for guessing what result you're looking for,then!
As all_apologies so rightly says.no one knows his sexuality,but it has absolutely nothing to do with his terrible tratment of you.What really frightens me is that if he "came out" to you and said he was gay,and that he loved you :^o (I've been longing to use that emoticon!) that would excuse his frankly psychopathic behaviour and treatment of you,or would justify it.
Your obsession with his sexuality is in my honest opinion a question of a "drowning man clutching at straws." You've read all the advice.No one has got a single good word to say about this man oe the relationship you have with him.We can't ALL be wrong.PLEASE take our advice and save yourself before it's too late.
Nigel


Sorry, the Questions in the Poll I submitted, have been changed, I do not know how, but they have....I will change the questions to what I orinally posted.

The options I gave WERE:-

1) YES- Most Definately STRAIGHT (Straight as the M1)
2) NO - Definaely NOT. Straight Hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men, even for money
3) He MIGHT be. He is probably confused over his own sexuality and does not want to admit it because he feels ashemed
4) NO - He is Bi Sexual
5) NO - He IS Gay. Straight hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men even for money
6) He is a STRAIGHT Hetrosexual Male Prostitue.
7) Not really sure. I would need to know more about him before I could submit a vote

These were the options I original asked in my Poll, but they have been altered by the Mods and Admin I assume, and I am unable to edit my Poll to reflect the correct options.

I must admit I am very upset and somewhat annoyed that my Poll has been changed, because it looks like I have asked the same question twice, when I NEVER, and in fact some of my poll options have even been deleted. Take a look at my now 'locked' Poll where you will see what I originally asked and that I did NOT ask the same question twice. There were SEVEN options altogether.....my Poll has been altered to show SIX options now, not FIVED as someone quoted above, but the Poll you are now reading in this thread, is NOT as I originally posted it. I am hoping that a MOD can edit my poll to reflect the SEVEN Poll options listed above please.
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Postby gatekeeper » Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:04 pm

hi I sent u a PM, good luck with your problem!
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Postby Moose » Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:26 pm

Hi again,
I don't think that the mod who changed your poll would have deliberately got the questions wrong. I hope that you only responded like that because you're upset about your problem. They were only trying to help: your poll and your problem is much more likely to get responses if it's all in the same thread.

That said though, even with the new poll options, I'm finding it difficult to vote. I think this has already been said, but the only person who knows his sexuality is him. We do not know. Maybe he doesn't know - maybe he doesn't even care what his sexuality is. From everything you've said, love and sex and feelings are the last things on this guy's mind: all he cares about (from what you've said) is getting his money and presents and making sure his partner doesn't find out. What do you think would happen if you saw him and you didn't give him any money or gifts? Would he beat you up? Or would he go away in a rage? What's the worst thing he could do? He couldn't tell people, because then they'd know what he'd been doing. If he attacks you, you could go to the police, then everyone would know anyway. He cannot win here, but you can. Does he work? Or does he make a living scamming off people like you? Are you his only "boyfriend"?

Sorry I haven't written what you want to read, but there's no point in posting what I don't believe. I know how hard it is to let a relationship go, however destructive it is, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can move on with your life, and stop wasting it waiting for his call or text.
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Postby all_apologies » Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:19 pm

LincsGayMan46 wrote:
lidopig wrote:Not a very scientific poll I'm afraid.Two of the questions are identical.Four out of the five questions are looking for a gay/bisexual selection.No prizes for guessing what result you're looking for,then!
As all_apologies so rightly says.no one knows his sexuality,but it has absolutely nothing to do with his terrible tratment of you.What really frightens me is that if he "came out" to you and said he was gay,and that he loved you :^o (I've been longing to use that emoticon!) that would excuse his frankly psychopathic behaviour and treatment of you,or would justify it.
Your obsession with his sexuality is in my honest opinion a question of a "drowning man clutching at straws." You've read all the advice.No one has got a single good word to say about this man oe the relationship you have with him.We can't ALL be wrong.PLEASE take our advice and save yourself before it's too late.
Nigel


Sorry, the Questions in the Poll I submitted, have been changed, I do not know how, but they have....I will change the questions to what I orinally posted.

The options I gave WERE:-

1) YES- Most Definately STRAIGHT (Straight as the M1)
2) NO - Definaely NOT. Straight Hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men, even for money
3) He MIGHT be. He is probably confused over his own sexuality and does not want to admit it because he feels ashemed
4) NO - He is Bi Sexual
5) NO - He IS Gay. Straight hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men even for money
6) He is a STRAIGHT Hetrosexual Male Prostitue.
7) Not really sure. I would need to know more about him before I could submit a vote

These were the options I original asked in my Poll, but they have been altered by the Mods and Admin I assume, and I am unable to edit my Poll to reflect the correct options.

I must admit I am very upset and somewhat annoyed that my Poll has been changed, because it looks like I have asked the same question twice, when I NEVER, and in fact some of my poll options have even been deleted. Take a look at my now 'locked' Poll where you will see what I originally asked and that I did NOT ask the same question twice. There were SEVEN options altogether.....my Poll has been altered to show SIX options now, not FIVED as someone quoted above, but the Poll you are now reading in this thread, is NOT as I originally posted it. I am hoping that a MOD can edit my poll to reflect the SEVEN Poll options listed above please.


Sorry, for some reason the first option wasn't showing even though I submitted it. Accept my humblest apologies, but this is a glitch with the forums and was not intentional. I have now copied in the options that you wrote above.

Your duplicate thread was locked because we like to keep the same problem to one thread. Otherwise, people who hadn't read your original thread would have no idea what your new one was about. As Moose said, we only perform such edits for your own benefit.
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:39 pm

Moose wrote:Hi again,
I don't think that the mod who changed your poll would have deliberately got the questions wrong. I hope that you only responded like that because you're upset about your problem. They were only trying to help: your poll and your problem is much more likely to get responses if it's all in the same thread.


Yes, you are correct. I did not mean to sound so harsh. My humblest apologies to the Admin Team. Yes, I am upset about my probem. VERY upset. Ok, I appreciate what you are all saying about it makes no difference really what his true sexual orientation might be. Perhaps it is true, maybe he does not know himself, even though he insists he IS straight. Not long after we first met, I did ask him myself in a very subtle way, but he simply said I was to stop "pigeon-holeing" him, and just enjoy what he could offer. I am convinced that something about his past, and the way his father abused him sexually, (IF that is true of course, and I have no way of knowing for sure, I'm simply accepting what he has told me) has something to do with the way he is now, and why he likes to be in total control.

But with all due respect to all of you who have replied and offered your very helpful advice, I am not sure which of you are gay, bi or straight yourselves. Or indeed whether or not you are male or female. And whilst I appreciate that might not seem to make very much difference, if you are gay, you might understand the turmoil I am going through. Even though I know I AM gay, I still feel very mixed up. It feels like my brain is overloading. Something is going to blow soon, I just know it. Ok, I DO know that the simple answer to this is to stop seeing him. Ok, so I can ignore his texts, I can block him on MSN, and I can delete his emails, not that he sends me many of those, before opening them up.

But IF I do totally ignore him, he WILL come to me to find out why. Of that I am certain. Then one of two things might happen. (1) He will listen to what I have got to say, and why I have been ignoring him and he will either accept my decision to end it, or he will try to convince me to carry on, all in a civilised manner, OR, (2). Depending on his frame of mind, ie, whether or not he has been drinking, he might turn up unexpected, either at my home or place of work and cause a scene.

Ok, I cannot answer why it makes so much difference to me whether or not HE is gay, bi or straight....BUT if I could only know the answer to that, if I could just be sure of his true sexual feelings, I am certain, well, maybe not certain, but I just feel I may be able to deal with my problem in a way I do not feel able to at the moment.

I really do appreciate all the advice those of you who have replied have offered me, and I am very grateful even if my responses have appeared otherwise.

Moose wrote:(1) What do you think would happen if you saw him and you didn't give him any money or gifts? (2) Would he beat you up? (3) Or would he go away in a rage? (4) What's the worst thing he could do? He couldn't tell people, because then they'd know what he'd been doing. If he attacks you, you could go to the police, then everyone would know anyway. He cannot win here, but you can. (5) Does he work? Or does he make a living scamming off people like you? (6) Are you his only "boyfriend"?


Ok, I will try to answer those questions as best I feel able to:

(1). I'm not sure about the 'gifts', but if I stopped giving him money, I believe he himself will end it. He has in fact told me in the past, that he is "only in this for the money", or words to that effect. But he said that when he was heavily under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

(2) I am not sure. I do not think he will, because he has said in the past he will not go to prison over a faggot. But, I cannot deny that I do get scared of him when he has been drinking a lot, and although I do not think he will beat me up himself, I cannot rule out the possibility that he might send some of his friends around to beat me up on his behalf. Again, he might not, but I would not rule that out.

(3) He does have a temper, that is true. But only when he has been drinking a lot, or smoking pot, or whatever it is they smoke. I think he might go away, but whether or not that would be the last I would hear from him, I really cannot say. I do not think he would let it drop just like that.

(4) Dump me. Blank me, totally ignore me and end it himself. He might not WANT to do that, but he knows only too well how much I love him. Well he might not realise I love him, which I know I do, but he DOES know I have very strong emotional feelings for him. He has in the past actually said he is going to take full advantage of the fact that I cannot do without him. He KNOWS I will be devasted if this relationship comes to an end.

(5) Since I have known him he has had numerous jobs, but he cannot seem to hold a job down for very long. Why I do not know, but take these past three months for example, to the best of my knowledge he has had at least three jobs in as many months. I do not think he wants to work, but I really cannot be sure. Why he does not stay very long in a job is also something else I cannot answer.

(6) I am not sure. Something tells me I might not be. When he is in my company he recieves numerous text messages. I know some of them come from his fiancee, but I do not believe they all do. Also, if his mobile rings and it is his fiancee he simply tells me to remain quiet as he speaks to her, but if it is anyone else other than his fiancee he goes out into the garden so I cannot over hear the conversation.
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Postby all_apologies » Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:52 pm

LincsGayMan46 wrote:
But with all due respect to all of you who have replied and offered your very helpful advice, I am not sure which of you are gay, bi or straight yourselves. Or indeed whether or not you are male or female.


Okay, different circumstances but maybe this'll help. I am a young gay female, but as far everyone else is aware, I'm your average straight girl. I have had several long term relationships with men, but decided at the start of this year that I would no longer continue to get involved with men as it was totally false, and I'm not attracted to them.

After being continuously pursued by a very persistant guy for over a year, I eventually plucked up the courage to tell him exactly why I was in no way interested. However, despite knowing deep down that I was telling the truth, he refused to believe me, and in fact no longer even acknowledges the conversation we had that night. Because he's attracted to me, he's created this fallacy that I must be straight because it's what he wants me to be. He still regularly asks me out, having claimed that I don't "look" gay so I must be straight :roll: . I'm guilty of this too - I'll see a girl that I like and pick out everything that points to her being gay even if she's got a man on her arm. Nine times out of ten, it's wishful thinking!

So, my points are that:
1) Just because people engage in relationships/sexual acts with someone of a certain gender doesn't necessarily define who they are. I am proof of this - I've had several relationships with men but in actual fact I'm only into women!
2) Often, we believe what we want to believe. You want him to be gay, so perhaps you're making assumptions based on your own desires.

Of course, he could well be gay, but I just wanted to show through my own personal experience that not everything's clear cut and obvious when it comes to sexual preferences.
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:22 am

all_apologies wrote:
LincsGayMan46 wrote:
But with all due respect to all of you who have replied and offered your very helpful advice, I am not sure which of you are gay, bi or straight yourselves. Or indeed whether or not you are male or female.


Okay, different circumstances but maybe this'll help. I am a young gay female, but as far everyone else is aware, I'm your average straight girl. I have had several long term relationships with men, but decided at the start of this year that I would no longer continue to get involved with men as it was totally false, and I'm not attracted to them.

After being continuously pursued by a very persistant guy for over a year, I eventually plucked up the courage to tell him exactly why I was in no way interested. However, despite knowing deep down that I was telling the truth, he refused to believe me, and in fact no longer even acknowledges the conversation we had that night. Because he's attracted to me, he's created this fallacy that I must be straight because it's what he wants me to be. He still regularly asks me out, having claimed that I don't "look" gay so I must be straight :roll: . I'm guilty of this too - I'll see a girl that I like and pick out everything that points to her being gay even if she's got a man on her arm. Nine times out of ten, it's wishful thinking!

So, my points are that:
1) Just because people engage in relationships/sexual acts with someone of a certain gender doesn't necessarily define who they are. I am proof of this - I've had several relationships with men but in actual fact I'm only into women!
2) Often, we believe what we want to believe. You want him to be gay, so perhaps you're making assumptions based on your own desires.

Of course, he could well be gay, but I just wanted to show through my own personal experience that not everything's clear cut and obvious when it comes to sexual preferences.


Thank you, and thank you for revealing your gender and sexuality. I appreciate it.

What you say makes a lot of sense. I guess deep down inside, this is wishful thinking on my part. [-o< I WANT him to be gay, when even though we have had intimate sexual relations with each other, I still believe he is probably straight, even though I find it hard to understand how a straight man can want to have sex with another man.

Early on in our 'relationship', he used to sit in the arnchair and allow me to fondle him, run my fingers through his hair, kiss him....even on his lips, and generally make a fuss of him in a sexual way. Sometime after this we had a bit of a 'bust up' and he said he even allowed me to do things to him that he was not comfortable with, but that I should be grateful. Since that day, I have never been allowed to kiss him on his face or lips anymore. BUT he still likes me to perform oral sex on him, which he seems to enjoy.

So I guess I want him to admit he is gay, when I THINK he is straight as he claims to be, and is basically nothing more than a Rent Boy....or as he is in his thirties now, a Male Prostitute I guess, which would fit in with him saying to me he is "only in this now for the money". And if he IS a prostitute, why am I not feeling dirty about this? I just see myself as his 'bit on the side', and nothing more. I know he does not feel the same way about me as I do about him, but I just cannot help myself.

But I think I realise now from the replies that I have received that whatever he is, he is not good for me. But that still does not alter the fact that I am going to find this very hard to bring to an end. Oh sure, IF I do pluck up the strength to say "bother off mate its over", HOW will I feel afterwards? Its going to cut me up I know it is for several weeks probably, maybe longer, maybe several months, possibly even longer. And will I ever be able to forget him, or will I end up pinning (?spelling) for him and ask him back?

I KNOW I will cry myself to sleep every night, I do that now after each time I see him , knowing it is going to be another four weeks before I will see him again. So heaven only knows what I will feel when I realise I will never see him ever again. :(
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Postby gatekeeper » Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:37 am

As long as you stop thinking of answers to your gay question, you can slowly heal your wounds. If you're sure that you want out of this relationship because it's no good for it, then you should do things that will help you move CLOSER to your goal.

So perhaps everytime you feel like changing your mind, just keep in mind the horrible things he did to you, how he squandered your money and left you in tears night after night. Tell yourself, you're already at rock bottom, feeling lousy things CAN ONLY GET BETTER!!! Good luck with your problem!
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:02 pm

gatekeeper wrote:As long as you stop thinking of answers to your gay question, you can slowly heal your wounds. If you're sure that you want out of this relationship because it's no good for it, then you should do things that will help you move CLOSER to your goal.

So perhaps everytime you feel like changing your mind, just keep in mind the horrible things he did to you, how he squandered your money and left you in tears night after night. Tell yourself, you're already at rock bottom, feeling lousy things CAN ONLY GET BETTER!!! Good luck with your problem!


Hello, and thank you. Yes, it is true, I do not think I can sink any lower than I have already. But they say with time wounds can heal, don't they? So maybe it might not be as bad as I think it will be.

Something is not right though, because I have still not heard from him all week. And I WOULD have received at least one text message from him on Monday, but it is now Thursday and still no contact. I cannot believe he himself has simply decided to end it without saying anything. He likes my money too much. How will he pay for his "nice new expensive trainers" as he puts it, and his drugs money etc? If he dumps me himself, he will loose all of that. But I guess that would be HIS problem and not mine as I will have money to spend on myself again and I can get my bills paid and up to date.

I KNOW that that should be my top priority right now, but all I can think of is never seeing him ever again and how I will cope with that prospect.
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Postby Moose » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:25 pm

Do you work full time yourself? What do you do in the evenings? If you spend all your free time waiting to hear from him, you're going to drive yourself mad. You haven't answered the questions yet, so I don't know your situation, but maybe you could think about getting some evening work that might enable you to meet new people and earn some extra money to pay some of your bills. Bar work maybe? That way, you'd be getting out and about, meeting new people, taking your mind off him, and getting back some of the money (and self respect) that this bloke has taken away from you.

The in-depth way that you write sounds like you have had a lot of time to think and analyse what's going on here - almost too much, because you're agonising over something that is (many of us here believe, anyway) less important: his sexuality. The important things are that you're broke, your self esteem is very low, and you're hanging on for something that isn't going to happen. You seem a lot more concerned with sexuality than you do about the abuse you've endured. I think that getting out and doing something else in order to get your life back on track would be excellent for you, and may enable you to see things from a different perspective, and if he does get in touch again, you'll feel strong enough to tell him where to go.

By the way, I'm a bi female.
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