Is He Really Straight?

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Is he really straight?

YES- Most Definately STRAIGHT (Straight as the M1)
0
No votes
NO - Definaely NOT. Straight Hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men, even for money
1
6%
He MIGHT be. He is probably confused over his own sexuality and does not want to admit it because he feels ashemed
2
11%
NO - He is Bi Sexual
2
11%
NO - He IS Gay. Straight hetrosexual men do not have sex with other men even for money
1
6%
He is a STRAIGHT Hetrosexual Male Prostitue.
9
50%
Not really sure. I would need to know more about him before I could submit a vote
3
17%
 
Total votes : 18

Postby JayJay » Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:55 pm

I think JayJay means that it takes two and that you are allowing this man to control your life. Of course you are a victim, BUT it's of your own doing. You do have a choice.



Exactly. You've always had the decision to leave the arrangment you had with him. There was nothing signed and there was no paperwork involved with the money you gave to him, everything he took from you was, to a very big extent, given to him on a plate. It seems its in his nature to be selfish, to be a user and a taker. He'll probably never change. But you can change from being his doormat and his income, to beng in control of your own human life. it'll be hard to do, but it'll be stupid if you decide to remain in the situation that you are any longer.

I've been in your position a few years ago, which is why i probably feel for you, however my remorse is limited. When i went through something similar to you, as much as i hated to admit it, it was more my fault for being the walkover that i was, and to let him wipe his dirty feet all over me. but no-one, and i mean no-one deserves to have that much power over another person.

And Im glad you said that you will no longer be meeting up with him. That was a great decision you made. :D

Are you OK today? What are your thoughts? How is that email coming along?
The trouble with life is that there's no background music
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:08 pm

I'm as well as can be expected I guess. Many thanks for asking. I'm still hestitating over that dam drafted email. I wish someone was here to hit the send button for me, but I guess only I can do that.
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Postby SunBum » Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:24 am

Ok, Straight advice from a very Straight 43 yr old Guy,

Hit that send button on the e-mail and do NOT hang around any longer, This guy is clearly taking you for a ride in more than one way and you are the one that is losing out.

You are clearly blinded by the question of wanting to know his sexuality, at a guess, I would say he is Bisexual but his actions and treatment of you are no better than your average drug dealer scum or pimp, ie they are only in it for themselves.....I would say forget the question and get out of it while you still have a roof over your head, get those bills paid off and get back to a normal life. You will certainly not find the answer to his sexuality on a simple poll on here, only he will tell you that if he has the bottle to do so.

Having read your posts , you are clearly a very vulnerable person and everything you have said supports that, giving him £20k plus is more than proof.
He see's you as an easy target and will NO DOUBT keep coming back for more.
And from my point of view, The Alarm bells started ringing when you mentioned about him wanting you to sign your house and life insurance over to him as the beneficiary !!!
If I am correct from your name you are only 46 and not expecting to drop dead soon, you have no real relationship with this guy, so why sign your estate away, unless he is planning to have you bumped off, it does happen !!! ..and then he will try to inherit what you have left him coz you have signed it all over to him....think about it !!!

Someone else on here mentioned counselling, it is available, phone your local domestic abuse line (yes it does exist for men too) failing that the local Gay & Lesbian Switchboard in your phone book will also help.
Your GP as suggested earlier on here will probably point you in the same direction.

Get out while you can, hit that send button on the e-mail and get the debts sorted before the Bailliffs come in and take whatever else you have left.
If he gives you any grief, go to the police, tell them the full story or direct them here and you will be ok then. Ok you will NOT be able to recover the money, as money for sexual favours is NOT a recognised legal Civil Debt (goes under same terms as prostitution) but any harrassment or intimidation can be sorted out under Criminal Law.

Now go sort it !!!

Mark
Want Commitment..??? Get a DOG !!!!!
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Thu Aug 31, 2006 10:51 pm

Hello SunBum, and thank you so very much for taking the time to post a reply. It really is very much appreciated. I think now I am beginning to agree with everyone who has been so kind to me on here, that his sexuality is not really what I should be concerned over. Maybe it will remain which me for as long as I will remember him, but I know I have to start thinking about myself.

I really do appreciate you stating that you are a straight hetrosexual male, and that you did not reply 'taking the mickey' out of my own sexuality so to speak. And yes, that is correct, I am now 46 years old. Well, I'm in my 47th year now. Again, as with being referred to as a 'victim', I have never really thought of myself as being "vulnerable" before, but I must admit I guess I am. Up until now I just do not seem to be able to say NO to him when he wants money, or trainers, or other 'gifts'. But it has now got to the stage where I simply cannot afford to 'keep' him any longer.

I'd like to PM you with some more information in response to something you have mentioned in your post if you will permit me please?
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Postby ~Topaz~ » Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:01 am

I'm late to this thread and wonder what has been happening in the last week. All gone quiet.
I would like to reiterate what others have said.
This man is a dangerous con man. He does not care for you, in fact I think he hates you. He is (barely) tolerating sexual contact with you because he is prostituting himself for money. He sounds very angry.
I think what he's doing disgusts him. I think YOU disgust him.
I think he is straight but damaged by abuse in his childhood and will allow you very limited contact in return for money. He is bleeding you dry.
You are a victim in every sense of the word.
My advice is to break off contact imeadiately. Never give him another penny. Please please please end it.
I think you are very depressed and I think you should see your GP.
You sound like a very nice man to me and I hate to hear what you're going through at the hands of this odious creature.
You must protect yourself. This man is destroying you.
You deserve to find a nice man who will love you and care for you. Someone who will be proud of you and make you happy.
~Topaz~
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:25 pm

Ok, an update for you. It would seem that his girlfriend has read text messages on his mobile that he sent to me containing some very intimate comments. He said it was over between us because I would not let him have anymore money, and that she would probably dump him. They have agreed not to live together anymore, according to him anyway. he has also told her he is going to continue to see me. I just cannot make out what he is up to.

However, he has just started to text me again saying I can still meet him, and we can carry on even though prior to this he had made it clear it was over....saving me the trouble of sending that email. I've been ignoring him, but the texts are still coming.
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Postby ~Topaz~ » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:17 pm

Because he wants money. He's trying to reel you in again. He'll tell you any lie he thinks you'll fall for.
I'm very proud of you for standing firm. Please don't give in. Don't reply.
Can you change your sim card?
You're doing so well. You'll soon be free.
~Topaz~
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:17 pm

~Topaz~ wrote:Because he wants money. He's trying to reel you in again. He'll tell you any lie he thinks you'll fall for.
I'm very proud of you for standing firm. Please don't give in. Don't reply.
Can you change your sim card?
You're doing so well. You'll soon be free.


Well, its over. I've taken in a lodger who rang him and told him not to come here anymore, not to ask for any more money or he'll have him to deal with.

My life appears to be about to change. Let me explain. I've agreed to let a young lad of 22 years stay in my spare room in return for him doing odds and sods around the home and gardens. He is a friend of my neighbour's sons and a bit of a loner. He was adopted at birth and even his adopted parents abandoned him when he was seven years old. Anyway, he found out about what was going on and he said no one should treat me like 'HE' was, so he decided to put a stop to it. I asked him not to get involved because this was my problem and not his....but he said, he was involved as I was so kind to him by taking him in.

Anyway, the lad knows I am gay and he is fine with it. We have agreed that he will look upon me as family he has never had and I cn look upon him as a son I can never have. Its ok, there are no sexual favours involved, he's not going to start getting money off of me or anything like that. I've made that quite clear from day one. All it is, is I now have a bit of company, well not much as he spends virtually all of his time in the room, but I have him here with me, and he's going to keep my home maintained, decorated, hoovered etc etc.....while I am at work. He is also an excellent cook.....he's cooked me meals which have been ready for when I get home from work.

All in all, I need to look at this in one of two ways:- (1) I've just made the biggest mistake of my life....even bigger than getting involved with 'HIM', or (2) I have just made the best decsion of my life.....which I feel is the case. I feel I have a purpose in life now. There is someone here I can take care of and look after and look upon as a son I have never had and can never have.

My neighbour says I may have just saved this lad's life. If he stayed where he was, he might have turned into a crackhead or something. Yes, I feel sorry for him. And I just cannot help myself, but at least he has saved my life....he's managed to do what I could simply not bring myself to do....tell 'HIM' its over.

I can't undertand why he wants to spend so much of his time cooped up in the room, but aas he has nevre had a room of his own before, I guess he is just getingused to his own personal private space for the fiurst time ever in his life.

I feel a lot better in myself now. I don't need to feel used or abused by anyone anymore.

Thank you all for your very helpful replies, kind remarks and concerns. I really do appreciate it. It now feels like a huge boulder has been lifted off of my chest. And surprisingly I'm not as upset about this as I thought I would be. Yes, I am a bit upset, but I don't feel hurt or dissappointed like I thought I would....maybe thats because I do not have to sit here alone now thinking about 'HIM'....my new house guest has taken my mind completely off of him.

Anyway....I'll keep you all updated if this works out.....or if it does not.
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Postby retrochav » Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:11 pm

I guess i came in here a bit late to be of much use to you!

As a gay guy who dated a "straight" guy for two years, i could totally relate to your origanal question about is he really gay? The reality is that he possibly is neither in any true sense of the word - even most bisexuals cant be "purchased".

My "straight" guy found out i was sexually abused as a kid and came up with bizzare fetishes about uncles and nephews! I went along with it, faintly concerned that if i didnt he might try the real thing. I should have been more worried about the pyschological effects revisiting child abuse was doing to me!

At 47 you are still young enough to find a real guy who will want to satisfy you on every level - that is what a "real" man does for his partner, whether gay or straight.

I hope your lodger and you can mutually heal the pain you seem to have had in your lives, even for a limited time and scope.

The man you describe sounds like a heartless bully who played a role to manipulate you. I wish you every success for the future, feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby LincsGayMan46 » Wed Aug 15, 2007 12:53 am

Sorry to ressurect an old thread. But I need to talk to someone. I thiught I had got over this guy almost a year ago now but this evening completely out of the blue he turns up on my doorstep after a whole year almost and ......sorry, I'm crying, I'll have to finish this later
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Postby DaydreamerBeliever » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:40 am

Everyone has given so much good advice that i dont think i can add any more, except maybe two things-

No straight man that i know would be intimate with another man at any level not even for money...

Stop letting this man use and abuse you, you deserve happiness and clearly you are not getting any from this man.
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Postby DaydreamerBeliever » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:41 am

Sorry i just realised how old these posts are :oops:
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