Helping my GF

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Helping my GF

Postby manperson » Thu Aug 09, 2018 12:45 pm

Hi, sorry if this is out of place. I'm looking for advice.

My GF of 2 years has had a lot happen to her in life, and is now dealing with the mental results of that. She has OCD and Anxiety, and may even have PTSD as a result. These issues have been severe and not really improving for over a year.

I have tried my absolute best to try and support her through this, however, I have a lot going on myself at the moment, and her almost daily issues have grown difficult for me to manage. I try my best and often say the wrong thing, and even if she doesn't talk to me about it she will say I 'don't know the half of it' etc. and that makes me feel worse about the situation.

I love her and I was fine at helping her with these things previous to my current situation, but with my own stress and lack of outlet, along with her issues seemingly only getting worse, I'm scared of what is happening to each of us and our relationship.

She is in the process of trying to talk to a professional, however, the issues keep coming up and things are only getting worse.

Is there any advice I could get, specifically about helping her? I realise how I need to be with her but I am struggling with keeping up at the moment and feel like I'm only just keeping my head above water.

Thanks
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Re: Helping my GF

Postby boulding » Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:32 am

Hi Manperson

The first rule in a Disaster at Sea is to put on your own life jacket before you start helping someone else otherwise you might both end up drowned.

I think you need to prioritise your own issues at the moment and focus on problem solving these. Your girl friend's issues seem very complex and it is probably best left to a professional. Trying to counsel a loved one rarely works and often the person nearest is not the best person to sort things out. The best way you can help your girlfriend is to be loving and supportive and to provide a safe calm environment for her.

I hope things go well for you both.
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Re: Helping my GF

Postby Tarantula » Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:03 am

Hi manperson

I generally agree with boulding, but am interested to know more about exactly what has been going on? What are her issues, and what current situation is happening for you?

Yes, above all, she needs stability and a peaceful environment, it sounds like.
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Re: Helping my GF

Postby manperson » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:15 pm

Hi,

Thanks for the replies.

Trying to provide that environment for her, it is just getting more difficult to do so the longer this goes on. I will keep trying to do so.

I was withholding specifics out of respect for her. If it helps at all it's mostly all been caused by an incredibly difficult and unusual relationship with her family worsening her mental health (this was said by a professional, not her or myself). She is in counselling. I don't know how long I can help without hurting - helping her on top of work, life etc. is causing me a lot of stress at the moment.

Thank you for the advice. I will try to keep it up, and keep calm and stable for her.
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