he's rubbish on the phone

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he's rubbish on the phone

Postby stellar » Sun Apr 06, 2003 6:20 pm

Hi
This problem is to do with phone conversations to my boyfriend. He lives miles away so we only get to see each other once in a while. Therefore talking on the phone, texting etc is vital for our relationship. Recently however he has become moody on the phone, and I find it hard to talk to him. When we see each other it's great and everything is fine. It really upsets me having bad conversations with him because obviously I miss him and I just want to be able to talk to him normally without him saying something inappropriate. Friends say it's because he misses me and this is his way of dealing with us being apart but I don't understand why he can't see that being moody on the phone is not helpful to our relationship and could end up driving me away.
I've tried talking to him about it but he said I've got nothing to wory about and am making an issue out of nothing. However I long to just be able to speak normally and also I am now wary of ringing him in case I catch him in a bad mood. That's not good right?
Any help would be great!
Stellar x
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Postby kitten » Sun Apr 06, 2003 7:44 pm

Men have never been very good at using phones!!

He may feel far apart from you on the phone and be moody as he knows he can not see you that often (by the sound of things). Try writing letters every so as well as talking on the phone, that way you both have time to write down you thoughts and this can often be more romantic.

I went on holiday to America just after I met my now husband and we wrote to each other, as I couldn't afford to phone. I was really nice and you can pick the letter up and read it as often as you like.

:)

Keep working at things and keep smiling - Kitten
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Postby tammybligh » Mon Apr 07, 2003 11:12 am

I've recently come out of a long distance relationship and although he wasn't moody on the phone, sometimes he wasn't as attentive as he could have been. I think most of this stems from the fact that blokes are not as comfortable on the phone as us girlies. They also don't like to talk as much as we do... I found that the easiest way round this was to ask him at the beginning of the phone call whether he wanted to chat. If he wasn't in a chatty sort of mood, I'd leave it till the following day... nine times out of ten, he'd call me back later on.

Like kitten says, writing letters can help, but again, lots of blokes don't like to that. I used to write letters whenever I hadn't been able to have a long chat with him the evening before. Try to remember that just because he appears moody doesn't mean that he isn't interested in whats going on in your life.

Don't let it put you off the relationship. Its a minor thing. As long as he's saying that you haven't got anything to worry about, don't worry about it.

Sorry to waffle on.... hope it helps a bit :)
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Postby Llisa » Wed Apr 09, 2003 11:41 pm

Hi hun,
both of the relationships I've been in were long distance, and therefore talking on the phone was crucial...just as it is with you. One thing that really annoyed me about my last boyfriend was that he would talk to other people in the room he was in...talk on the internet...or do something else while he was talking to me. I put up with it for a while, but I eventually blew up and told him that if he wouldn't pay full attnetion to me, then don't paying any attention at all. He called me back and apologized. He had no idea what he was doing and he didn't know how annoying it was for me. My best advice for you is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. He might have had a bad day or something like that, but ask him to put a little effort into the relationship becuase it's important to you, and if he really cares for you (which I'm sure he does) then he'll be willing to make that litlte effort to make your phone conversations so much nicer.
Will be praying for you
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