what shall i do?

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what shall i do?

Postby gord3001 » Mon Apr 07, 2003 11:47 am

i think i want my ex girlfriend back we was together for over 3 years with a few break ups (because of me) but the last brake up was stupid i brought her a car stereo for her birthday and wired it into her car and few weeks latter the car had to go so i took the stereo back out and asked her when she gets another car to let me wire it in again and not to let her brother touch it as he will blow it up (he's one of these people that says he can do everything and cant) so a few weeks pass and she gets another car i say to her do you want me to wire ur stereo in for you and she says ok i will bring it round so a week or so passes and she hasent brought it then one day i get a phone call at work saying is the wiring on this stereo diffrent to normal because ben (her brother) cant get it to work and it smells like something has blown, well i went MAD i felt like she totally doesent respect anything i say so anyway she came round my house that evening and said its only a car stereo i can get another one and in the heat of the moment i told her to get another boyfriend while she's there and that was the end of our relationship. well 3 months has passed now and i miss her so much but im afraid that if i do i will end up resenting her again because she doesn't have any faith in what i say i know its a small thing but i specificalt told her if she lets her brother have a go at it, it will never work again and she completley ignored me now i dont know what to do!
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Postby tourguide_barbie » Mon Apr 07, 2003 1:32 pm

Hiya gord,
I know its hard and 3 years is a long time, but when you break up with some1 everyone goes thru a period where they want them back. i would say don't be letting your feelings take over here. Give it time, three month s is such a sort time. The best thing to do is give her time and give yourself time to heal, then if you feel after this that you reallywant to be with her then go for it.. Just give it time babes :-)
Love TGB xXx
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Postby gord3001 » Mon Apr 07, 2003 3:06 pm

thanks for the advice but there's more to it than that im afraid.
you see when i said we had a a few brake up's because of me i really meant that. in the 3 years we were together i have splut up with her 5 times 4 of these times were for no real apperant reason just woke up in a bad mood caused an argument and left, then a couple of weeks after i would always ring her appologize and we start again. last time we split up b4 the car stereo incident she went away with my sister to butlins just a girly weekend, i made out that i was fine with it and they went, well that weekend i decided to go out clubbing and for some strange reason ended up kissing some other girl (this kinda thing never happend b4) neway she got back and new all about what had happend in the club and i confessed appologized then done the usual up n off thing that lasted for about a month then we decided to try and work it out and was going ok untill this whole car stereo thing a few months back.now i want her back again but the thing is i dont trust myself anymore i honestly think i that if we get back together then i will end up just dumping her again i really dont want to hurt her again but i love her and i want to be with her, i dont know why i do this ive asked myself time n time again and she has asked me even more times but the truth is i dont know, im wierdi have had problems with depresion and have even slit my rist before but this was all before we had met and i think its all in the past i dont feel depressed just sometimes i go a bit wierd and she always seem's to be the one that takes s**t from it

what should i do?

get back with her and try to address my apperant problems

leave her alone (i love her but dont want to keep putting her through this)

book myself into a mental instatute and fowl never to go near a women again
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Postby tourguide_barbie » Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:37 pm

OK gord,
I think maybe you should get yourself sorted out before you start anything with her again, when and if you 2 get together you want to start on the right foot, you don't wanna have doubts and think "am i gonna ruin this again?" just get yourself sorted out hun, i know its hard but i'm sure she would want u to take some time out for yourself, so that u 2 can get back together and stay together for the rest of your lives.. Make yourself happier hun, take this time to enjoy yourself, go out with your friends enjoy your own company because until you are happy babes, you aren't gonna be able to be sure you'll make her happy.

I'm sure you are a great guy, you know exactly where u have went wrong in the relationship and are willing to admit that. There aren't many guys like ya!You sound like a nice guy So I'm sure this will work out for ya in time..
hope this helped :-/
Love TGB xXx
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Postby KoRn_Freak » Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:50 pm

Maybe you two didn't talk enough to understand each others feelings and how you tick etc. Why risk a good relationship over something petty? Sometimes love drifts into your life and when you let it go for no reason, it might not come back again. Give you and your girl a little more time to chill on your own, then sort out what you wanna do. Have a long conversation with her about her views and yours, get everything pent up out into the open and see where it goes from there. Come what may. Hope that helps.
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Postby sophie » Tue Apr 08, 2003 1:19 am

oh dear i do feel for you, i think u want her out of habit, not love. That sound harsh i know, it is easy just to go back with her, but if this has happened 5 times nothing has changed. I think its the fear of being alone after 3 years, but believe me it does get better although u dont think so now, make a clean brake, there is someone out there that will be right for u. good luck, hope this helps :D
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Postby gord3001 » Tue Apr 08, 2003 11:40 am

well thanx for all the reply's,
unfortantly at this time i still havent really got a clue what im going to do,
i see new problems ariving with every question answerd, if i take people's advice and give it time to sort my head, whats to say she wont meet someone else and i would have left it too late i can hardley ring her and tell her i still love her but i need time to work stuff out in my mind and decide whether or not im going to dump her again for no reason.
and on the other note what if i decide to leave it and let her get on with her life, i know these feeling's i have are not going to go away i will never be able to start see'ing someone new through the fact she wont be what i want.
i know noone could ever replace her.

seem's to me that the one thing i need (being time) is probably the one thing i dont have

:cry: :cry:
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Postby Llisa » Tue Apr 08, 2003 7:53 pm

HI hun,
well here's one more word of advice! It might not be so much a word of advice, but really just an indication of something that goes through us girls heads. That one thing, about installing the car stereo...did you ever think that maybe she was just trying to save you some time and aggravation? My boyfriend would always offer to do things for me, but i always felt like I was bugging him and sometimes I'd get someone else to do it for me. Fortunately, he didn't go off his rocker like you did, but I knew that it upset him, but i kept doing it over and over again. Sometimes, us igrls just don't understand that our blokes really DO want to do stuff for us. We have such thick skulls that we think we're being a pest to them, and that if we ask them for anything, they'll blow us off. I really don't think that she wasn't listening to you or that she doesn't respect you. I think that she she's only doing it because she's hoping she won't annoy you and that you'll stay around longer. (obviously that didn't work. Anyways, that's just a little insight to a girl's mind, but as to what you should do...wait a while still. You might decide she isn't th one for you...or you might realize that you truly can't live without her. Either way, I'm praying for you.
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Postby gord3001 » Wed Apr 09, 2003 5:37 pm

WOW......You know i never looked at it like that, and that has made me feel a whole load better about the whole car stereo incident thankyou Llisa

And the advice about leaving it a little longer....well im kinda impatiant see and i already txted her.....i just told her i missed her and were going to meet up for a drink and a long chat tonight..of corse this doesn't mean were getting back together but it's a step in the right direction

thnx a lot for all the advice
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Postby Bubble » Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:50 am

Best of luck hun, or if you've already met her then i hope it went ok.
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Postby gord3001 » Thu Apr 10, 2003 6:18 pm

g
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