Losing Ryan!!!!!!!!

For problems with girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, lovers and leavers!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Losing Ryan!!!!!!!!

Postby Stacker » Sat Apr 12, 2003 5:11 pm

Hi I usual give advice rather than seek it.But this week has changed my life forever & I was wondering if any1 can help a damsel in distress!
My problem is that on Wednesday I got a phone call to say that my husband Ryan had been killed while in action (he was in Iraq) this news was bad enough. :cry:
But it was our childrens 2nd birthday & they were upset enough what with Daddy not being home but if I told them this it would ruin their world! :(
I am scared of telling them as they are so young but I think they should know.
I was gonna tell them today but everyone is trying to make my life a bit happier today as it's my birthday.
So what should I do tell them & hope they understand or leave it untill they are older?
Please help this is killing me!
Love Stacker :wink:
Actions speak louder than words.
Stacker
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 6:05 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby Gollumsgirl » Sat Apr 12, 2003 6:18 pm

Oh My God,I can't think of anything worse than receiving news as bad as yours.
I think you should tell your children,I know is easier said then done but in the long run it will be easier for you to know that you have told them rather than keep it a secret!They are young but it is amazing what kids understand,I have a 2 year old daughter & she knows more than I give her credit for.
I'm sure your family will be very supportive whatever you do.
Gollumsgirlxx
User avatar
Gollumsgirl
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 5:10 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby stellar » Sun Apr 13, 2003 3:13 pm

I'm very sorry for your loss Stacker.
I agree with Gollumsgirl, I think you should tell them now otherwise they may resent not knowing later in life. Also, they may help you with your grieving process, in that you can all grieve together and help each other.
Deepest sympathy,
Stellar
User avatar
stellar
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 128
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 3:18 pm

Postby Amz » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:29 pm

Im so terribly sorry to hear about your loss, Its just terrible. :(
My opinion is that you should explain to your children in whichever
way you feel easiest about what has happened.
I will be thinking about you.
Love Amy xxxx
Amz
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 3:31 pm

Oh My Word!

Postby cheap_uk_calls » Mon Apr 14, 2003 1:54 am

You have shamed me. I've been worried all week end about something minor and stupid, and then I read your post.

Sorry about your loss. People like Ryan are an inspiration for us all, and a hero to all. Your children should know this, and be proud of their Father's achievements and their mothers' strength.
cheap_uk_calls
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2003 1:49 am

Postby Bubble » Mon Apr 14, 2003 12:05 pm

Yes i agree, Ryan will always be remembered in this country as a hero.
I'm really sorry hun.....
Nuff Love
*Donna*
xxxxx
User avatar
Bubble
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 799
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2002 9:02 pm
Location: Kent

Postby Stacker » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:10 pm

Thank you all for the advice.
I know you are all right & I shall tell my children as you all said it's the best thing to do!
Thanks Stacker :wink:
Actions speak louder than words.
Stacker
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 6:05 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby Stacker » Tue Apr 22, 2003 7:50 pm

It's been over a week since I last posted on here & during that time I told my children that their dad won't be home again & tried to explain to the best of ablities why not but this is very difficult to do as they are only 2! :cry:
This is gonna sound really callous of me but I hate my own children everytime I look at them I feel like screaming or sometimes worse. :(
They are staying at my parents at the moment as I'm scared of what I will do to them!That sounds awfull to say but it true.
But I'm all by self in our house & all I can think of is the different ways I could end all this pain & suffering.
Is this normal?
Stacker :(
Actions speak louder than words.
Stacker
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 6:05 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby Gollumsgirl » Tue Apr 22, 2003 7:58 pm

[color=blue] Stacker please don't do anything!
By the sounds you need to see your doctor who will be able to recommend a counsellor or some1 who will be able to help you.
It may help to be able to talk to some1 who isn't involved in your situation.
You say you hate your children but I doubt that's true as by the sounds of it you are loving & devoted parent which they need.
Gollumsgirl :wink:
User avatar
Gollumsgirl
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 5:10 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby Stacker » Fri May 02, 2003 7:34 pm

Since i last posted on here things are starting to look up abit!! :D
a small miracle happened & it helped me re-avuate my life.
I'M PREGNANT - about 10 weeks!
I found out a week ago & it helped me realise that strange things happen just to help us through our rough times!
The twins are now back home & I'm seeing a councellor once a week.
It's been 23 days since Ryan passed away & I cry everytime someone mentions his name or if I see/hear anything that reminds me of him & the
only peace of mind I can find is the thought that I am carrying Ryans child & that I see him everyday in our 2 gorgeous children!
The only thing that does worry me is that when I have my baby & when it's older he/she will blame me for never metting his/her father! is this insane?
Stackerx :wink:
Actions speak louder than words.
Stacker
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 6:05 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby Gollumsgirl » Mon May 05, 2003 5:00 pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!! :D On your good news. This is probably one of the worst situation to find out that you are expecting the man you love baby but least you know that you have a family that will support you.
I know this is gonna sound patronizing to you but it is true what they say: "Time is a great healer!"
It sounds like you are making alot of progress & that you are turning your life around which is very difficult after what you have been through & after such short time but WELL DONE! :D
Gollumsgirl 8)
User avatar
Gollumsgirl
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 5:10 pm
Location: Somerset

Postby badgal2k3 » Mon May 19, 2003 12:46 am

Stacker wrote:It's been over a week since I last posted on here & during that time I told my children that their dad won't be home again & tried to explain to the best of ablities why not but this is very difficult to do as they are only 2! :cry:
This is gonna sound really callous of me but I hate my own children everytime I look at them I feel like screaming or sometimes worse. :(
They are staying at my parents at the moment as I'm scared of what I will do to them!That sounds awfull to say but it true.
But I'm all by self in our house & all I can think of is the different ways I could end all this pain & suffering.
Is this normal?
Stacker :(


no its not normal
get ur jelly together at least u still got ur kids
badgal2k3
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon May 19, 2003 12:30 am

Postby tammybligh » Mon May 19, 2003 3:07 pm

That really is wonderful news about the new baby. I think it'll give you something to channel all your energy into. It's also great that you've started getting a little help - nobody should have to go through all this on their own.

I don't think your unborn baby will ever blame you for this situation. It was all down to circumstances that were beyond your control. All you can do is make sure that you keep his spirit alive. That way your children will always know how much he loved them, and how he would've loved the new baby. I'm sure that he's watching over you all somewhere, he'll always be there with you.

Good luck with the pregnancy, I hope you don't get too much morning sickness......
User avatar
tammybligh
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:52 pm

Postby Diane » Tue May 20, 2003 11:55 am

its sounds to me that ure a very brave and couragous woman, telling ure children must ave bin the hardest things in the world to do! It is a wonderful miracle that ure expecting ryan's baby, his spirit will always live on within u and ure children. i wish u all the best for the future and stay strong xxxxxxxxxx
Diane
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon May 19, 2003 11:04 am


Return to Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests