Bad break up

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Bad break up

Postby Parys123 » Sun Apr 13, 2003 12:31 am

I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago, because he was becoming really obsessive, and was starting to get agressive with me too. He hit me in the face when I changed the TV channels, and so I knew I had to end it with him. After, I kept telling him not to call me anymore, etc, but he started texting me again, just saying he was really sorry and stuff.
We'd been going out about six months so I had a lot of his things, like tshirts, cds and stuff, and he asked if he could come round and get them. When he came round I was home alone, but he seemed calm and in quite a good mood so I let him in. We hugged and he asked me how I'd been, etc. After a while we went up to my room to get his stuff and he realised that I'd taken the photos of me and him off my pin board. He utterly lost it, and punched me in the stomach. And then he raped me on the floor in my room.
I don't know what to do with myself anymore, I can't sit still and my friend's keep asking me about the bruises on my neck and arms. I know I should tell somebody, and I kept my clothes just incase I can work up the courage to do it, but I just feel disgusting. And I know it was my fault, because I knew what he's like and I let him in. I just keep thinking how could he of done this after we were together for six months? God, I just feel sick. With myself and with him. I can't even look in the mirror anymore.
I don't know what to do.
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Postby Kit » Sun Apr 13, 2003 1:20 am

Hi

First of all I'd like to say IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! my god hun, you didn't ask to be raped. Now the next thing is, you must go to the police. i know you feel embarrased and you feel it's your fault, but believe me they will be on your side. They have people who you can talk to and help you through this.

You can't let your ex get away with what he's done, if he's done it to you (and he claims he loves you) then he could quiet easily do it to somebody else.

Go to the police hun, the sooner you tell them, the sooner your ex will get what he deserves.
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Postby Parys123 » Mon Apr 14, 2003 4:55 pm

Hi Kit,
Thank you for replying.
I kind of took your advice and told my mum. She totally dismissed me. She said that I was stupid to let him in in the first place, and that even if I went to the police I wouldn't be able to prove that he forced me to have sex with him. But she did say I should do a pregnancy test, I think she thought that was the problem I trying to tell her, or something.
Truth is I hadn't even thought about that, I was so preocuppied with everything else. I'm going to go to the clinic near us tomorrow, I think they'll be able to tell me what to do.
Thanks for telling me to tell someone, I wanted to, but I think that I just needed somebody else to tell me to do it.
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Postby Enigma » Mon Apr 14, 2003 7:52 pm

Okay Parys123, don't start going down that road where you call yourself stupid and think it's all your fault. It's clearly not your fault, and as far as evidence goes you know what's happened.

Your mums reaction isn't very helpful. Don't let her comments about not being able to prove things discourage you from trying to do so. Someone has treated you disgustingly, and needs to be dealt with accordingly.
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Postby Kit » Mon Apr 14, 2003 8:07 pm

I'm glad you told someone hun, but as enigma said your mum's reaction wasn't very helpful, and I'm surprised she told you, that you were stupid to let him in.

You're doing the right thing, going to the clinic, tell them exactly what happened and they'll be able to give you advise on what steps you need to take next.

The main thing is, you have to believe it wasn't your fault and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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