lonely again,and so much more so

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lonely again,and so much more so

Postby davepanacea1965 » Sun Apr 27, 2003 12:35 pm

Where do i begin? i'm a 37 year old male,I'd never had a girlfriend before this year due to body awareness issues and past bullying experiances making me far to nervous to approach a woman, i know that sounds pathectic it feels in to me!!, then I met a lady on here last november(2002) we talked for hours and hours everyday and night i told her all my problems she told me hers,she was in a marriage with a very controlling mentally abusing man,who she was going to divorce, i sent her photos, she said i looked good she liked big men,anyway, she told her husband she'd met someone,and started divorce proceedings, we started meeting every two weeks couldn't do it any more frequently as she lived well over a 100 miles away, then in early feb she left familly home with her two youngest children and she asked me to go be with her, I was over the moon you've no idea how lonely i've felt all my life and here was this beautiful woman telling me she loved me and needed me,i knew it must be too good to be true but i loved her so much,anyway I decided i wanted to be with her more than anything,so i packed up all my worldly goods,to be with her,we'd been together a week when she sais she thought she was pregnant we did a test and it was possitive,i was so so happy never ever thought i'd be a dad,we went to docs got it comfirmed,we'd got pregnant on an earlier meeting,all was well for three more weeks,then one morning she just told me she liked me but didn't love me and she wanted to be on her own and asked me to leave,so i'm back here a 100 miles from her she's carrying my child,and i'll never be able to be father i so want to be,then i found out her ex had a vasectomy 7 years ago after they had youngest girl,now i've heard they might be together again,but she wrote saying she wants no contact with me, but will keep me posted about the child, i am devastated,i was on suicide watch for 4 nights when i first came home i'm ashamed of that too, advice from anyone please i'm desperate,will i see my child what rights if any do i have,and i'm so scared i'll end up the sad old and lonely man i always thought i'd be,she built me up with love then ripped it out of me help me please!!![/b]
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Postby Gem » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:46 pm

I'm not sure what rights you have to see your child although I do watch a lot of Trisha! Sorry, bad joke in such a heartbraking topic. What makes you think you will end up a sad and lonely old man?? If your ex wanted to be with you others will too.

What she has done is very unfair to you but things like this happen, remember that pregnancy causes very strange emotions to come to the surface, it makes women act funny. Maybe things were moving too fast for her, you have to admit that leaving your husband, moving in with someone new and getting pregnant in a short space of time can be quite overwhelming.

Also, you said that her husband was violent towards her, she could have been scared that he'd find her and be violent once again. There are lots of reasons why she had a change of heart but I imagine none of them were because of you.

You need to start looking at life more positively, at the end of the day, you need to feel better about yourself before problems go away and remember that everything happens for a reason. When things are out of your controll there is no point in getting worked up over them, it makes situations worse and you'll come out of it feeling no better than you did before.

Leave your ex alone for a while and see what happens, the worst thing you could do is hassle her. I hope this has helped even if it's only a little bit, take care and keep us posted with what is happening,
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