Is The Past Too much To Take?

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Is The Past Too much To Take?

Postby Mirabella » Sun May 04, 2003 10:22 pm

I've been with my boyfriend for almost three months now and we've become very close, but despite the fact that we cuddle and hold hands and roll around and stuff, we've only kissed one time. It's because of me, and he's asked me about it but I just can't bring myself to tell him why. Two years ago I met this guy who was four years older than me, and I was so naive at the time that I believed everything he said to me about taking me to Venice in the future. But after he kissed me for the first time -my first ever kiss- he started acting like he could do whatever he wanted to me. The first night we met -within the first hour- he just took control and told me that we were going to have sex. We did, and I was only thirteen years old. I didn't even know the guy at the time but he was gorgeous, and I was drunk. I was completely in love with the guy after then, but I wasn't allowed to tell anyone anything about us. When he eventually got bored of me he just ignored me, and it was the most painful thing in the world to have to go through something like that and not be able to tell anyone about it. When I kissed my current boyfriend for the first time -about two months ago- my blood turned cold and everything just came racing back to me. I remembered everything about how he just walked in the room and lay me down on the bed and raped me right there and then. It scared me, and it scares me when I even think of kissing my boyfriend again, but I realise that a relationship can't go much further if I won't kiss him. He's being really patient, but I don't want to make him wait forever. He doesn't deserve that. I suppose I just need some advice on what to do.
Mirabella
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Postby saraha » Mon May 05, 2003 10:57 am

hi
i had well the simular expreince (how ever you spell it)

i no it may be hard but i think you should tell your bf.
i did and he was really surpportive towards me,
he helped me gain back my confincence (how you spell it)

i know it is really hard, believing that if a bloke has hurt you,
it has happen to me with serval(more then one bloke) blokes.

also he maded me realise not all blokes want to treat me in that way,
till i met him all i believed was that every bloke would hurt me or use me again.

if you wish to talk to some one who deals with helping people with this,
talk to your doctor, he can a range and help you find a councellor who speciallises in this.

also their is a few websites and phone numbers where yu can talk to people usually in magazines for teenagers or women.
i see if i can find some 4 you as they may help, as you are not directly talking to some face to face,
which some people find easyer to express how the feel.

hope i have been some help.
good luck and letz us no how you got on.
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Postby saraha » Wed May 07, 2003 5:20 pm

here that number i talked about just if you prefer to chat to some one over the phone. 0115 900 3560

or this web pages that give you advice or info on people you can contact if you want help or just some to talk to and help overcome this.

http://www.shef.ac.uk/counselling/advice/rape/
http://www.shef.ac.uk/counselling/advic ... ttodo.html
http://www.city.ac.uk/counselling/rape.htm
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/directory/su ... sp?PID=657

i hope i have been some help,

take care
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