get over him or not

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get over him or not

Postby buttercup » Mon May 12, 2003 9:35 am

everything is very confusing but by the time you read this hopefully ull be able to help me!!
I met this great guy he is my perfect match it sounds stupid but even r hands r the same size! whenever i was with him i was always happy never sad when with him!! he could always cheer me up anyhow!! whenever i was with him there was always a buzz got butterflies even before i seen him!! it was magic! i loved him and he loved me!! his parents loved me and was so glad that i made there son so happy!!
but this is alot more complicated!! i got married at 18 married 2yrs but i had an affair with this guy i had always liked him but we always just looked from a distance until now!! he didnt know i was married but i never told him from the start!! i also have a son which he is great with!!

now my hubby, he changed into a guy that i dont like or love i think! he is very controlling he tells me what to wear, needs to know where i am every minute, im not allowed boy m8s and cant talk to anyone!! i told him i was having an affair i he said he kinda already knew!! he seems fine about it he says im his life and doesnt want to lose me! but im not so sure!! i know that a love the other guy and when im with hubby i feel dead inside!! i feel as if my relationship with my hubby died along time ago i dont feel love i sometimes feel hate!!
to make matters worse the other guy only livesa mile away from me and works about 300yrds from my house so it isnt as easy to 4get!! though when i told him i was married it destroyed him and he still is i think he loved me he wanted to be with me forever and grow old together and evrything!! he was even going to bring me and my son away to disney in summer!! but ive hurt him so much i dont evn think i could get him back.!!
we cant even talk now which tears me up inside when we see each other we either put r heads down to not show the pain or we just stare!! i miss him!! dont know how he is or how he feels!!
what should i do!! should i het over him!! or try and get him back!! or try with hubby!! i really dont know :cry: :(
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Oh dear

Postby Cat Queen » Tue May 13, 2003 1:45 pm

Hi buttercup. Firstly there`s a child in between all this, think of him. Did the lad you had an affair with know about your son? Personally,sorry to say this,I think you where too young to get married. I just recently decided that I want to settle down, im 22,been with my lad two years. Jeez, tricky one. Do love your husband? Really? There seems to be no trust in the relationship. :-? You seem to really love the other guy involved, try talking to him,see where you stand with him. Is your husband being faithful? Just very suprised he isn`t botherd by affair?
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Postby Gem » Tue May 13, 2003 4:21 pm

I agree with what Cat Queen is saying, if your husband is not really that bothered about it I think that you both need to re-think your situation. Although you have a child together there is no point in staying together for his sake if you two are not happy together. Over time this will take it's toll on your son and he will not be happy.

I think you need to sit down and talk it through. It's my belief that you shouldn't let people control you either, what kind of way is that to live?? It sounds like you'd be better off not being with your husband.

You also need to make things clear to the other guy you were with, tell him the whole truth about what has happened and, if he is as nice as you say he is and you decide to leave your husband, I'm sure he'll be around somewhere.
Who decided what order to put the alphabet in?
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thanks both of u

Postby buttercup » Tue May 13, 2003 9:54 pm

any ideas how to talk to the other guy as we arent speaking at min and i know hes afraid too. today even when i saw him he looked at me and watched me walk the whole way past!! my hubby wont listen ive tried hes said well work and that we will get over but i cant stop thinking of the other guy
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Postby Gem » Wed May 14, 2003 12:54 pm

You really need to decide exactly what you want to do, then stick to it. Do things one at a time as breaking up with your husband and getting with the other guy at the same time isn't going to work.

So, firstly, get the breaking up with your husband bit done then, when you see the other guy you can ask him if he would come out for a drink with you so you can explain, I'm sure he will.

In the meantime, if you really are still interested in the other guy, just smile at him and, if you catch his eye, go and ask how he is.

Take care,
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thanks

Postby buttercup » Wed May 14, 2003 8:24 pm

thanks gem uve been very helpful ill keep you posted buttercup xx
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Re: thanks

Postby badgal2k3 » Mon May 19, 2003 12:41 am

buttercup wrote:thanks gem uve been very helpful ill keep you posted buttercup xx

f



first ov all u deserve all u get u sudnt of cheated on him in the first place especially if a child was in the situation :evil:
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