Should I be worried? Opinions please!

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Should I be worried? Opinions please!

Postby rachelrgpt » Wed May 21, 2003 10:52 am

hi
i'm new on here so sorry this is so long but i want u to have all the info.
I am so upset and i just need to know if i'm being stupid or not about this:

I'm 20. My boyfriend has been married before. He got a divorce last month (april). She left him over a year ago. When i first met him (january) we weren't serious but i still thought it was odd that he showed me his wedding photos. he just said he wanted to be completely honest with me so i didn't find anything out that wasn't from him. he talked about her quite a bit, mostly to say nasty things (i tried to defend her, he was a bit harsh) and sometimes (5 or 6 times) he tells me how he can't understand why she left him (she left because she loves her previous husband who beat her and her kids up). i can see his point but i was thinking does it really matter now??? Her other husband is dead anyway so she's not in danger. Once in an argument he has called me by her name by mistake and once when i annoyed him he said oh that's what she used to do. The divorce was a bit messy with arguments but he owed her money. he has no money so i paid some for him. Oh and once he said that if she hadn't left him they'd still be together now. Not to get at me but to say it's her loss.
OK i'll get to the point now.
Yesterday i logged onto the business email (which i'm allowed to use- i wasn't snooping) and i saw about 10 emails from her and he'd replied to them all... I looked. i know i shouldn't have done. She was being ok actually, just friendly, apologising for what she'd done and she said she's glad he's with me. His replies were ok too, only he said he'd pay her the rest of the money (£400 which we can't afford and he'd said earlier that she couldn't have it - i'm pregnant) and then she'd returned his photos to him and she said she didn't send any of her because it wasn't appropriate. He replied saying that's ok i have a copy of the wedding photos. She made a joke of it so i know she has no feelings for him
but what i'm asking is, do you think he has feelings for her?, why hasn't he told me about the emails or the £400? we have a shared bank account... I looked today and he'd deleted them all Why??? if there's nothing to hide? Please help me this is really upsetting me now. I'm not a jealous person but i've never had a boyfriend that's been friends with an ex, let alone an ex wife..
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Get the money and leave him

Postby Mikey_N19 » Wed May 21, 2003 11:01 am

he's still wanna be involved with his wife and he needs to decide who he wants so he can stop play u!!

love mikey xx
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Postby Theparadox » Wed May 21, 2003 12:08 pm

Well I hate to say it but I don't like the sound of it... Is he generally quite a private person, doesn't tell you some things, or does he normally tell you everything? I suppose when you've been married to someone, even if it didn't work out, you've built up a relationship and got to know each other, been through a lot together etc, but he does seem very friendly with her and I think a lot of ppl would be a tad uncomfy with that. He does seem a bit attached to her, and still going thru the pain of her leaving him... you should try and speak to him, ask him to be honest and tell you what he's thinking etc.
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Ask him straight out

Postby Cat Queen » Wed May 21, 2003 7:58 pm

Your his priorty now,you and your child together,not the ex.You should tell him so. Sorry to say this hun, but he dosn`t sound quite over her yet. Be careful, he may take it the wrong way if you own up about the e mails! Best of luck, your gona have to have words :-?
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