Worth the risk?

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Worth the risk?

Postby what_is_life » Sat May 31, 2003 8:25 pm

Hi everyone,

Me and my Girlfriend have been getting really close lately, we both know that sex is something we want in our relationship and is something we talk about. The trouble is no matter how physically, and most importantly, how mentally mature she is, she is still only 14 and there's still 1 1/2 years to go until she is legal age.

It is frustrating for both of us because we know what we want, yet it feels like somebody else is telling us what not to do with OUR bodies.

If we were to have sex, it would no problem for neither of us but if her dad was to find out he would most likely press charges against me and as my dad is a police officer I know that if her dad were to press charges then i would be put on the schedule 1 offenders list, which prevents anyone on it from gaining a proffesion, including the military which is where i want to be.

It may look like i am jumping to far ahead here but if anyone out there has any advice i would like to know if it is worth the risk

I love her and would never do anything to hurt her but this is still something an angry parent would not understand.

Thanks people.

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GOD I HATE HORMONES!!!!!
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Postby primalsurfer » Sat May 31, 2003 11:30 pm

laws are made for a reason, laws like the legal age for sex are there to help protect innocent people from unscrupulous people.

you obviously know the risks here and they have far reaching consequences for your future. Sex isn't everything mate if I were you I'd wait
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Postby Aldo » Sun Jun 01, 2003 6:58 pm

I agree, why risk everything? In a year and a half (i know it sounds long), it will be legal...and maybe you two will enjoy it even more.
If you dont ask you will never know
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Re: Worth the risk?

Postby Tazzer » Sun Jun 01, 2003 10:36 pm

At the end of the day, if u love her go 4 it, no one has 2 know apart from the both of u, as long as she's mature enough 2 keep it 2 herself... I had exacly the same problem at her age. Im still with the bloke 5 yrs on and we r now engaged. If it feels right, go 4 it!! xx

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Postby primalsurfer » Mon Jun 02, 2003 4:14 pm

I wouldn't be so certain about being able to hide it from her parents. having sex for the first time is different for everyone, I knwo the girl i first slept with was a virgin to, and there was heap and heaps and heaps of blood, not something she could hide from her mother.

be patient, it'll be worth the wait, enjoy your youth while you can, dont grow up too soon.
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Postby Mirabella » Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Speaking as a 14 year old girl myself, I say you should go ahead with it. If she's not comfortable, she'll say so, but from what you said I think she is OK with it. If you trust her enough to keep your business private, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about, but if not, you'd probably be best off leaving it. If you think she's mature and ready for sex, why not go ahead and have sex? Remember to make sure she's OK with it though, and if she seems unsure then you should definitely stop. If not, she might get confused and talk to her parents about it or something.
I hope you're both happy.
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Postby kitten » Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:48 pm

One of the reasons the law states you should be 16 is because the body is not physically mature enough to have sex.

Time goes quicker than you think, why risk everything, there is plenty you can do without having full sex, have fun and make it worth the wait
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Postby Mr.L » Wed Jun 04, 2003 8:10 pm

wait til shes 15? also like how old r u? if ur like 25 then nooooo but if ur like 17 then yer maybe...
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Postby Theparadox » Thu Jun 05, 2003 1:17 pm

What age are you? Do you definitely feel ready for it as well? You are very responsible by considering all this so seriously, congrats on being a good boyfriend :) To be honest, even if she is sure its what she wants, 14 does seem a little young. i know feelings are very powerful, but wouldn't it be even more special if you were to wait? Maybe even just another year? I don't think her Dad would ever be too happy about it, in my experience they tend to be very protective of 'their little girls'. Whatever you do please make sure u use adequate protection cos it would be a disaster if she got pregnant so young.
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Postby jagsoccer4321 » Thu Jun 05, 2003 9:30 pm

first off how old are you?? i see where you are coming from and how it would be tempting but if you really love her that much you could wait! but if you do chose to have sex before she is legall make sure that you are somewhere safe where nobody would ever catch you... but i definatly think that you guys should wait if you are that madly in love, shell still be there in 2 years if your that serious! good luck!
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Postby what_is_life » Fri Jun 06, 2003 3:36 pm

Well, im 15 at the moment and 16 in October but just like to say I have to disagree with what was stated earlier about 'having to be 16 first because the body is not ready for sex'. If that is so then why to Girls get pregnant under 16 and why dont they magically blossom on their 16 birthday, each and every person has a different rate at which they develop and are ready for sex otherwise you wouldn't be able to have sex at 14 in Canada.
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Postby primalsurfer » Fri Jun 06, 2003 7:24 pm

Still the law is the law and there's a reason for it...... the legal age may be 14 in canada but the law here is 16, similar to smoking laws and drinking laws and driving laws, they are there to ensure that everyone is mautre enough to handle themselves.

You may say she's a mature 14 year old but what does that mean exactly, she hasn't had the life experience of someone older. There's emotional changes etc that happen after having sex for the first time, is she really ready for it? and are you for that matter? Will she turn to you if she has questions? and can you answer them? or will she turn to her parents?

Also what's the rush, enjoy your childhood while you can, and yes whether you like the term or not you are both still children.

Take the risk if you think it's really worth it, but be ready to take the consequences should it go tit's up
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Postby kitten » Mon Jun 09, 2003 6:46 pm

It is thought the body is not emotionally ready, sorry not physically. Don't know why Canada thinks differently.

I was always mature teenager but waited until I was nearly 18 until I had sex as I needed to know it was with the right person and I would be comfortable.

If you are talking sensibly about having sex then maybe you are mature enough, people grow fast alot younger these days. Still the laws the law.

Be young and carefree while you can be, believe me you miss the lack of responsibility when you are older.

Always be careful. The last thing needed is any unwanted diseases or pregnancy.
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Postby Lorelei » Mon Jun 09, 2003 11:16 pm

Hey! Like everyone else said, there's no rush and also, you can do lots of intimate stuff that won't mean 'losing your virginity' as such, and won't be so easily found out. But if you both REALLY want it, then I have to ask, if you're 15, then you're also a minor so the legal consequences couldn't be THAT serious, could they?... xxx
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Postby emma_leigh_2003 » Fri Jun 13, 2003 6:01 pm

One thing that alway's bug's me about under age sex! If both parties are both under the age of 16 and they are found out, why is it alway's the male who get's prosecuted? After all it take's two to tango......Hmm i dunno funny old world we live in isn't it
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