No win situation! Im Confused!

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No win situation! Im Confused!

Postby ctconfused » Mon Jun 02, 2003 4:23 pm

Im 19 years old and have been seing my boyfriend for just over a year now! It was great at first, having been involved in some bad relationships, one night stands and treated badly, it felt great at last to have someone who loved me sooo much! But now the problem is i feel he loves me too much. :(

I know it sounds insane but i cant cope with it anymore. whenevr we go out together he watches me like a hawk. Most of my friends are male and he seems to scare them off or they act really differently with me while he's around. We've tried to sort this out because nights out always end up in a huge row... and we decided we'd just go out with our friends. This was fine for about a week but Mike (my boyfriend) doesn't have many friends and those he does have he doesnt make an effort with so their not interested in him anymore! He doesnt seem bothered about this either he just uses it as a weapon to make me feel guilty so i cave in and let him come out with me and my friends!

I feel like im married (which ive told him) and said that i want more space which he agrees to but then it doesnt last! i feel like im going round in circles! After all im oonly 19 and want to go out and enjoy myself.

To add to confusion, one night while we were out around 4months ago i saw an lad i used to kind of see Dom... i introduced him to mike and me and dom had a good chat and catch up. from then on mike got it in his head that i was trying to see this Dom behind his back!

He'd been going through my phone and reading all my texts and reading things into them! it was crazy but i managed to calm him down... and made him see he was making it all up!

However, a couple of weeks later Dom told me he was really infactuated with me and wanted to be with me... me and Dom have always had that spark between us and now i feel i may be falling for him too. We've not kissed or anything... at first i told him to go and find someone else i thought he just wanted me cos he couldnt have me. But 3 months later and he still feels the same and now i feel the same as he does. He doesnt
want anything to happen between us unless im single which i respect because i couldnt have an affair. But i dont know how to or if i really want to finish with Mike. He's treated me sooo well taking me away and everything and at times we do get on really well.

I also fear what he would do to himself if i finished it. when weve been closed to splitting up before he cries saying he couldnt liive without me etc. He relies on me for everything... i just feel guilty all the time.

Help me!
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Postby Loopy » Tue Jun 03, 2003 12:03 pm

If you don't feel the same way about your current boyfriend then maybe you should break it off. It's not fair to keep stringing him along when you have feelings for someone else. You might worry about him but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
You could just go on a break with your boyfriend, not see the other guy and then see how you feel afterwards. It might give you a new perspective.
Good Luck.
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