Holiday recked all

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Holiday recked all

Postby smudgy » Sun Jun 08, 2003 5:23 pm

Over a month ago I went on holiday with my girlfriend to Africa. Something changed about her whilst we were there and I could tell when we got back. Anyway three week after she went back to the same place by herself and last Sunday when she was back she ended our relationship although she still wanted to be friends. I know she got on well with everyone over there and is still in contact with a few locals. I've seen her recently and I personally think she's lost the plot. She's on about her heart being over there and that if she could go tomorrow she would. Infact she is looking into her and her son doing this asap. She has no family alive over here and I know she has problems with money etc. here. Is this a case of feeling belonging to somewhere or running away from problems?
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Postby Godmeister » Sun Jun 08, 2003 6:02 pm

Without knowing what's really happening in her life, Id say that this is a typical way to run away from problems. Maybe she feels that by going to another country (or continent in this case!) she can make a fresh start and leave everything bad in her life behind. You really need to get her to talk with you about how she feels, thats if the two of you still talk to each other. Also, recommend that she speaks with her family about the move, they could possibly help her in her life. Personally, I really want to leave England and live abroad, but thats not because of problems as Im 18, single and going to uni, but this situation sounds different.

Remember, broach the subject carefully, dont scare her away by getting angry or annoyed with her.
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Postby primalsurfer » Sun Jun 08, 2003 6:42 pm

Travelling to different countries can do funny things to women....

I moved from New Zealand to the UK with my g/f, she was ultra keen to move to the UK. When we got here things changed in about the second week. To this day I still don't understand it, we stayed together for a while afterwards but the relationship was pretty much doomed. Things didn't end to well and we havent kept in touch, I think she has returned to NZ.

Were you living together before you went away on holiday?
How long were you on holiday for?

A fresh start is always appealing, especially if you feel more comfortable in the place you are moving too.

Have you considered moving with her?
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"Don't be glum, be like a glo-worm, it's never glum cause the sun shines out of it's bum"
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Postby smudgy » Mon Jun 09, 2003 6:28 am

Thanks for replies.

Godmeister..unfortunately she has no relatives living to talk to that's why I think sh's having a sense of belonging. Alot of her friends are encouraging her to go saying it would be a great opportunity. Yes we still talk.

Primesurfer..no we didn't live together although we were engaged, The first holiday lasted two week. The second lasted a week which ironically I financially contributed to and bought some clothing for you. Do you think she will come round cos she is very set on the idea on moving. I am worried about her. I do think she's having a breakdown.

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Postby primalsurfer » Mon Jun 09, 2003 7:57 pm

not living together and then being in close quaters for two weeks with no real escape can be a makle or break thing unfortuneately. I've experience dthe same thing where my partner was great in public but after speandinga weekend with her her whole personality came to light and i discovered she wasn't the one for me

is it that she's having a break down or have she found a new way of life in south africa? if she's having a breakdown then you need to try and get ehr soem help, if it's the other like I said in my last post have you considered moving with her, if not and she's dead set on moving and not being with you then you may have to accept that and move on
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