She's gone off it

[Westwood]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months now and I love her very much. I thought everything was going great but we now haven't slept together for nearly 3 months. She is either "not in the mood" or "too tired" when we are alone.

I know sex isn't everything in a relationship but it is part of a relationship.

Is it me?? I have asked her but she always rolls her eyes and says something like, "of course not". I have tried really hard, e.g. cooking a special meal, decking out the bedroom romantically, surprise presents...

What is going on. Please help.

[primalsurfer]

been there done that, never figured it out.... you need to talk to her about it.

tell her the intimacy from your relationship has gone and you're worried, that you can't figure out what has happened and that you like to try and sort it out

good luck

[Lorelei]

As a female, I know that our libidos fluctuate more than men, but three months does seem a bit long: That's half your relationship! You definitely need to talk to her. Good luck!xxx

[Westwood]

Quick update...I tried to talk to her last night....the response, "Why do u have to keep asking me, I'm just tired!!" bearing in mind that I have only asked her once before after a couple of weeks without any.

I really don't know what to do. It is getting upsetting now that she doesn't want to talk to me about it.

What can I do??

[smudgy]

I've just come out of a relaitonship. Sex was good for 9 months of it but I could definitely tell in the last 2 months it started to stop. I feel that it was a prewarning that she had gone off me because without fail after coming back off a holiday I was dumped.

Smudgy

[Westwood]

Well I'm not going on holiday this year but she came back off holiday 3 weeks ago so nothing has happened about being dumped. Its just weird, surely you can't just go off sex for long periods of time can you??

Also, does the will have an effect on sex??

[Llisa]

Hi hun,
This must be agonizing for you. But being a girl, I KNOW where she's coming from! Not entirely of course...since I have never been intimate like that with my boyfriends (a personal belief). You've likely heard of hte monthly blues? Did you know that they cant last a whole lot longer then a month? Us girls have VERY weird hormone levels, and they push all our feelings and emotions and deisres out of whack on a regular basis. Your girlfriend is no doubt going through one of these stages. Three months? huh...yeah! I wish some of my phases lasted as short as that! really doll, I don't think you have too much to worry about. However, if you notice any other tell-tale signs, such as problems with eating, SEVERE mood swings, or anything else like that, see a doctor. Don't necessarily take her to the doctor with you the first time, but she may have a serious problem. Really though, I don't think it's that. Only go to the doctor as a last resort! You should definitly talk to her too...let her know how you're feeling and ask how hse's feeling. Maybe right now she's testing you too...seeing how you're responding to having to 'go without'. Whatever it is, I hope it all works out for the both of you.
Will be praying for you

[crasygurl]

she may something on her mind that is putting her off.
she always claimes she is tried does she every tell u y?
tell her how you feel.

if my bf acted like that i would feel that he nolonger was attracted to me and would want to no why.

i no she dont want to talk about it, have you asked her y?
have you both ever talked about how do it made you both feel.
some people are not always keen on it or had bad experince which may of put them off.

i think you both need to talk so that you both her stand each other point of view and try to solove what ever the problem is.

[Westwood]

I will have to talk to her soon but she isn't very well at the moment so now isn't probably the best time to do it!!

Cheers for all the advice. Much appreciated. I will try to help on other topics as much as I can.