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Postby Craigismine » Tue Jun 10, 2003 7:52 pm

I am 15 and have been with my bf for 5 months. Last year though, i was with a boy who whenever he became angry, would hit me or kick me. I told this to my new bf and he accepted it, but now everytime he gets angry I get very paranoid and panicky, and I will duck away from him. I know for a fact that he will never hurt me but this is really ruining our relationship. I can't get over what happened last year and I'm afraid that if I don't pretty soon I will lose my bf I have now, help me please?
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Postby Westwood » Tue Jun 10, 2003 11:13 pm

I can sort of understand your situation. It will sound really stupid but when I adopted my dog, the previous owner used to beat it with a stick or belt or something and whenever I shout at it or even raise my hand in a hitting motion, she backs away because that is what she had got used to

Try speaking to someone...parents, a close friend, counsellor about your problem but in the end, you are the one who will have to change.

Your boyfriend should understand and want to help you through it and overcome it. Speak to him
Relationships are built on 3 things....Love, Trust and Respect....If you ain't got them, you ain't got a relationship!!
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Postby Llisa » Wed Jun 11, 2003 3:41 am

Hey hun,
That's a scary thing to be in a abusive relationship. Your situation reminds me of a dog that I once had...alright, that sounded bad, I'm NOT saying you're a dog, I'm just telling you what happened TO my dog...I was like, the third owner of this beautiful hound. She was very obedient and everything, but whenever you came near her, she cowered. If you raised your hand to pet her, she'd duck away. We came to the obvious conclusion that her previous owners had beaten her...a veyr sad and awful thing. We made sure that she knew that we would never ever hit her for anything...and we had her for a long time...but Amber never forgot what happened to her. So even though she knew we wouldn't strike her, she was still very timid. I have a feeling this is going to be the way with you for a long time's a hard thing to get over, but you're going to have to realize that not everyone has an explosive temper. Not everyone wants to hurt, and by the sounds of hit, your new boyfriend DEFINITLY doesn't want to. Let your main man know how you're feeling...he likely doens't even know what's going through your head when he gets angry. It's best to get it out in the open. My best wishes are with you.
Will be praying for you
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