jelousy

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jelousy

Postby teenager with problems » Mon Jun 16, 2003 7:02 pm

Im so confused :( im tryin to do the rite thing. these are the details....
This boy hu is my best m8 hu ive known 4 6 years has asked mi out loadza times but ive always turned him down untill last week we went out for 3 days until he started to prat about and he asked mi out again and sed that i was the only one he wanted and he wudnt go out wiv any one esle i was so close to sayin yes when i had to go off msn to my mums. One of my mates was online and the boy asked her out straight after i left there now going out and when there holding hands and kissing i feel so depressed, i no that its my fault and i shouldnt be bothered by all of this until today when while they were holdin hands he couldnt stop looking at me i tried to smile thinking nothing of it and that he was bieng friendly but he wouldnt stop it! i no this sounds arrogant but im betta looking than his current girlfriend and as he is shallow i no that it isnt her personality he loves. I dont want to be any more than mates with him and im tryin to be happy for him but i cant, and she is my mate and i dont want to fall out with her, but i cant help wondering if hes going out wiv her to prove a point to me or get me jealous im trying to look out for both of them, im so confused am i a witch and dont want him to be happy or am i in love with him or just mates or am i missing the attention i recieve from him i really need help sorting this problem out :(
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Postby Lorelei » Mon Jun 16, 2003 8:30 pm

Well it looks like you have considered all the possibilities. It's a tricky one... Well, I don't think it would bother you if you weren't jealous. It's unlikely to be a case of simply being worried for the girl's feelings. So, either you're being selfish and you miss the attention or you like/love him deep down. If you think he's trying to make you jealous, it could be that his plan is working to perfection. Or maybe you'd like him to be making you jealous? What are your reasons for not wanting to go out with him? Do you find him attractive? If so, then you probably do like him. Also, you say you were just about to say yes the last time he asked you out? Why would you have been about to say yes if you don't like him? You were still 'getting the attention' then so you wouldn't have been feeling selfish jealousy at that point. I think you should flirt with him a bit more, see if he's still interested, then leave yourself open to chemistry and if it's there, then go for it... But don't ask him out, make sure he dumps his girlfriend and asks you, especially as he's the one playing games by making you jealous! Good luck!xxx
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Postby teenager with problems » Mon Jun 16, 2003 9:27 pm

thanx for the advice. I dont find him attractive at all i simply want to be his mate thats why i turned him down also when i went out with him before like i sed and he made it diffulcult for mi to warm to him like hugging and kissing i think this was because it was akward cus were such gd mates. I would flirt with him and i have tried but i saw his girlfriends face and i felt so bad i do like the girlfriend and she is a gd mate not as gd as a mate as the boy tho he did actually flirt back with me which still makes mi think that hes tryin to get me jelous but i dont whether its jelousy im feelin.
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Postby Lorelei » Wed Jun 18, 2003 8:26 pm

Well, you need to start being honest with yourself. Do you want to be his girlfriend? If so, go for it, flirt away, all's fair in love and war. You know he's crazy about you (even still, he flirted back!) If you do NOT like him romantically, however, you are just being jealous because you miss the attention. I know the feeling, we all love flattery, it's only human, but the right thing to do would be to leave him and his girlfriend alone for a while, let him move on and give yourself a bit of space so you can meet someone who you ARE attracted to! Hope it all works out!xxx
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