can it work

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can it work

Postby buttercup » Fri Jun 20, 2003 10:34 am

can u be with someone who u dont really care about wat i mean that u dont love!! im in this situation at min and im going round in circles cause i love someone else and there all i think about!! its alot more completed than this sounds!! i know ill never get this other guy back the one i had affair with for 6 mths i dont think i can anyhow i hurt him alot i just cant pluck up the courage to talk to him i see him every day and we look at each other and stuff but thats it!! i really would want him bk but i doubt i can!! so should i make this other relationship work!! :-?
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Postby what_is_life » Sat Jun 21, 2003 1:22 pm

Hey, im sorry buttercup but i really didn't understand a word of that, you sound confused!
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sorry

Postby buttercup » Sat Jun 21, 2003 2:59 pm

ok im married but dont really want to be!! i had an affair with a guy for 6mths and cant get him out of my head!! we c each other everyday as he works only a short distance away from my house so i have to go by!! we havent spoken since we used to send a couple msgs and things but stopped!! i broke his heart and i really wish i hadnt as i did and do love him to bits i miss him so yea im a bit confusedd. im kinda still with my hubby but he knows that i want this other guy but think we can work!! he didnt seem that bothered about the affair he said he kinda knew anyhow!! im with him and im afraid that i dont care about him!! hell never compare to the other guy or be him!! even when im with my hubby i wish it was the other person it sounds awful and feels it!! but i doubt i can get the other guy back and if i cant should i make the most of this relationship!! even though i want and love someone else !! i cxant pluck up the courage to speak to the othet one as all we do is look at each other then shy away i really dont know what to do!!
please badly need advice!!
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Postby madbird » Sat Jun 21, 2003 7:42 pm

I used to be married myself, but am now divorced. I had an affair with a bloke that I loved to absolute bits. I realised how unhappy i was in my marriage and me and this other guy only saw each other for a few months (he was also married) but in the end I couldn't carry on living a lie with my husband when I felt so much for someone else, even though he didn't want me in the end & is still married.

I think you sound like you don't want to stay with your husband whatever, I know it's hard to leave but i did & i'm glad I did, I'm not with anyone but I've got to the point where that doesn't matter to me, at least I'm not totally miserable with a husband i don't love anymore.

As for the other guy, it sounds like you have unfinished business from your point of view, why not pluck up the courage & talk to him about it, you'll know one way or the other then won't you? And how can things get any worse? No matter what my other guy did to me I still wanted him & he broke my heart, that was several years ago and i would of given him endless chances & but not now - so don't leave it too late!

Hope I've been of some help.

Good luck.
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Postby buttercup » Sat Jun 21, 2003 9:43 pm

thanks thats been really helpful!! yea i feel as if im someone else with my hubby just dont feel right!! i dont want to hurt this other guy though either!! i saw his mum tonight and asked how he was she said miserable as he seex me but cant have me back cause i broke his heart so much!! so should i leave it but im miserable without him if icant have himi dont really want anyone if that makes sense
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Postby madbird » Sun Jun 22, 2003 12:19 am

Yeah it does make sense, but I've been through it and you do come out the other side, I never thought I'd want anybody else but I do. If he's mum has said that, I think you should definately talk to him, like I say this guy broke my heart but up until now I would have given anything to be with him, like I say what have you got to lose? Things are bad enough as it is aren't they? but they do get better!


By the way can you give me your opinion on my problem 'just a friend' nobody is replying and I'm in major need of help!
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