Very worrying Internet chat.

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Very worrying Internet chat.

Postby Foxy136 » Mon Jun 23, 2003 12:32 pm

Hi, Im 17 and have been going out with my 17 year old boyfriend for nearly 2 years. He is great as he has helped me through some really hard times. However he seems to spend alot of time on a computer. he also spends alot of time on the internet at places like faceparty and he talks to loads of girls on msn. He says he just does these things because he is bored and lonely when im not around (we only see each other at the weekend). However I am jelouse of these conversations. I dont know what he talks about but I dont see the need for the amount of time or people he talks to. Should I be worried. He has said that the conversations are innocent apart from maybe the odd comment but I know that hes a normal guy and I know that even i kinda flirt occasionaly. Should I be worried by these conversations?

I have another concern. The other night I was at his house and he was on the internet whilst I was in his room. I went in to where he was and he was talking to someone. (unusually he left the window open, usually he closes all conversations when i go in and says its just because he is private about these sort of things which also makes me worry.)

Anyway, I asked who he was talking to and he said it was just someone he said hi to occasionally. She said bye to him, then said "luv ya".
I was worried by this so i asked him if i could talk to her. He said i could and i asked her if they were close and if they spoke about personal things. She said they did sometimes and sometimes talked about sex and stuff and also that they had spoken two weeks ago and he had said luv ya to her when they were saying goodbye. He said that he hardly spoke to her and that she was lying.(she comes from canada so im not worried he is actually seeing her)

He didnt confront her however. Later we spoke about it and he said that she was making it up and must have gotten him confused with someone else. He got angry when i said it worried me and said that i should trust him and not some random girl. I told him i did trust him but he had to understand how that could worry someone.

Also he has lied to me about little things befor telling me that he knows i would go mad if he told the truth.(when it isnt really anything bad)

I dont know what to do. Is he telling the truth? Why would she say that? Also why does he talk to so many girls and spend so much time on the internet? I really love him and we have been with each other so long, this just seems to always be there in the background i feel like im not enough for him or something.
Ill never know if hes telling the truth or not.

Im sorry this is so long. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading this far!
Foxy xx
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Hmmm

Postby Daftness2k3 » Mon Jun 23, 2003 10:35 pm

Hey
Please remember,I'm no expert. But if I were you,I'd think about telling him how this makes u feel. He may not know what it makes u feel...but if u tell him and maybe put him in ur position...he may empathise and stop what is making u so unhappy. On the other hand, there may be no cause for worry at all...remember that:-)
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Postby Ciara » Sun Jun 29, 2003 11:26 pm

Ur bf wouldnt have let u talk 2 her if there was anything 2 b jealous off. Most ppl just say luv ya 2 their friends - i end most of my emails 2 mt m8s with it - even my boy mates who i dont fancy at all.

When ppl met ppl in chat rms it doesnt matter what u say 2 them as they dont know u or ever c u, so most ppl r comfortable talking about sex and stuff with them.

Although u think ur bf is acting in a suspicious way - think about how it must make him feel if u belive the girl u met on the net ova him? U need 2 trust ur bf a bit more.

And if u want 2 feel better - this "girl" might b a 54yr old man from mexico - at least u no ur real!

Luv C 8)
If u hate me 4 who im not, i'll hate u 4 who u r.
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Postby Llisa » Mon Jun 30, 2003 4:35 am

Hi hun,
It's hard when you feel like you have to compete for the attention of your boyfriend. When your guy spends a lot of time on the computer talking ot other people...especially girls, its' no wonder you feel a litle bit insecure. Hunny, as far as I can tell, you should just relax. He's with you...not these other girls who as Ciara said, may not even really be girls. You're there and happening and in his life. And even though I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking about sex to other girls...as long as he isn't cybering with them...I don't think I should be too concerned. But keep your eye on him and let him know how you feel. The whole 'luv ya' thing? It's such a platonic phrase now...people will say it to anyone and everyone these days. Don't take it too seriously.
Will be praying for you
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