I feel like such an idiot

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I feel like such an idiot

Postby down » Wed Jun 25, 2003 12:27 pm

Hi people, first time i've ever used one of these things so please bear with me.

Right, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 5 1/2 weeks, the first two weeks were excellent, we were always talking on the phone and arranging to meet, we couldn't keep away from each other, my girlfriend appears to have a reputation as been a bit of a flirt, but mainly because she greets everyone with hugs and just gives that general impression.

The third and fourth weeks however became a bit one-way and it was always me chasing after her, and me ringing her this made me feel a bit down sometimes as it felt like she didn't want to talk. At the end of the third week she was round at my house, and we ended up getting prettey intimate with each other, physically as well as mentally.

My sister strangely enough had just got her first boyfriend near enough at the same time as i had started going out my girlfriend, so my dad decided to give us both 'the lecture' as he thought it was appropriate, so afterwards me and my sister, who are very close started to talk about it. I asked her how far she had been with her boyfriend and i returned the trust and told her how far me and my girlfriend had been (bad mistake).

My sister who i HAD trusted had spoken to one of my girlfriends friends and in their girly giggling fashion she told her about me and my girlfriend, luckily only my girlfriends best friends know about it now, and knowing what my girlfriend is like i expected her to have told them anyway.

The matter had only come to my attention because one of her friends warned me, so i decided to back off for a while, it was painful because i missed her and i saw her getting a bit Too close to another lad, nearly everyone who was there was complaining that it wasn't fair for her to be getting that close at all never mind in front of me (they weren't kissing just getting close)

Anyway last night i confronted her on the matter, and she just stormed off, i realised i must have done something wrong so i rang her about an hour later, and managed to get out of her what was wrong, She was deeply upset that i had said anything to my sister and said that she had not told anybody anything. I obviously gave all the explanations about i wouldn't of said anything if i thought my sister would pass on the information, or if i knew it would hurt her so much but at the end of the day she says she can't trust me anymore and does not know if she can forgive me, she says it is unlikely i will ever get that trust back as she has tried to trust other lads again and only had it thrown back in her face, but she obviously doesn't know me that well if she thinks i can't be trusted.

Afterall, i was under the impression i was not doing anything wrong.

It's now up to her, what happens next but im not sure what to do, i need advice, should i bother ringing her or asking to meet her; she says she can't look at me because she just feels upset

Your rather welcome to reply and call me a jerk, but I already feel enough of an idiot already, i badly need advice is there anyone who has been through a similar situation themselves? Because i would be destroyed if this relationship were to end.

Thanks for bothering to read this...down.
down
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Postby Llisa » Wed Jun 25, 2003 5:25 pm

HI hun,
Aww...you strike me as a sweetie. I don't get that a lot from most of the posts on here, so take it as a compliment! :wink: You just want to do the right thing by your girlfriend and that's great, I can tell you don't want to upset her. One thing you should know though, is that girls TALK! They talk about anything and everything. I can see why you're upset about your sister telling your girlfriend's friend all you said...really I can, but hunny, for future reference, don't do that!
Now, you want to know that to do? Give your girl some space. It's what she wants, so give it to her. I'd leave her one last message or post, whatever, letting her know that you're here for her, you're sorry, and that you wish you could take it all back. Tell her that you're going to give her her space...she'll respect you for that. Let her come to you when she's ready. And here's the sad part though...she may decide not to come back to you...and that hurts! trust me I know...but at least this way you'll have learned something from your mistake, and go away realizing that there was nothing else you could have done. But I can not stress enough how much you need to give her her space ok? You're a doll hun, I hope it works out for you.
Will be praying for you
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Postby down » Sat Jun 28, 2003 5:58 pm

Thanks Llisa, i took your advice and told her i was going to give her space, she responded quickly a couple of days later...

She didn't come back...

So i now sit here listening to Groove Armadas - Edge Hill just depressing myself even more, god it's gonna be hard work gettin over her, i'll just hold on to that glimmer of hope a while longer...

Thanks anyway....down
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Postby Llisa » Mon Jun 30, 2003 4:18 am

Hi hun,
I never said it would be easy love!
My best advice to you is to just let go of that glimmer of hope too. The breakup is pretty fresh and you're still trying to feel a little bit optimistic. It's hard to let go...but the sooner you do it the better. I've been hanging onto my ex for 8 months now, and I'd do anything to get over it. It's really really hard. And the longer you drag it on, the worse it gets. Be strong ok? And don't bottle everything up inside! Tell someone how you're feeling! Give me a private message if you want. ok? I'll keep praying for you
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Postby down » Sat Jul 05, 2003 2:05 pm

Well, at the moment the situation stands like this:

Apparently she is still talking to her friends about me (in an nice way) and they are sick of hearing about me.

I sent her a txt asking her if i would be able to change her mind and if she was willing to give 'us' (as in me and her, not an ali g expression) a chance. She replied and her exact words were:

"Look i dno im confused at the mo i jst dno iv still got a lot 2 think about."

That was on Thursday, tommorow (which will be Sunday) there's an organised trip to Alton Towers, which all my mates are going on and so is she, Has anyone any advice on what to do tommorow, as there's 6 hours on a coach and a full day at Alton Towers to endure, should i try and get her back?

Whatever i do though NOTHING is going to spoil my day because I WILL enjoy myself! I know that! :D :-? :cry:
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Postby mariamaria » Sat Jul 05, 2003 5:43 pm

My advice to you is to just give her her space. She's obviously still confused and is still in need of space. Don't pester her to take you back. Just be pleasant. And I hope you have a good time at Alton Towers!!! Enjoy yourself! Take care xxx
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Postby down » Sun Jul 06, 2003 8:02 pm

Hey am back from Alton Towers, and we have now officialy split up :cry: I need an adrenaline rush to make myself feel good!

I wont let it get me down! :lol:
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