7 Year Itch

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7 Year Itch

Postby alison » Thu Jun 26, 2003 2:55 pm

Right where do I start? I have been with my partner for 7 years and have recently got engaged. Rather that feeling excited at the prospect, I doubt whether I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Although I love and respect my boyfriend I am constantly regretting not experiencing more in my life. I was only 19 when I met my partner and had only had one serious boyfriend. I feel trapped in the relationship, as I don’t know what to do for the best. I know I will never met anyone else who is on the same wavelength as me and with the same out look on life but feel like I am not experiencing life to the full. These feeling have intensified since the engagement.

I agreed to the proposal as it felt right at the time but within hours my boyfriend’s family were setting dates and choosing venues. The thought of a big day with me the centre of attention also fells me with fear.

My boyfriend has also had only one previous girlfriend but doesn’t have the doubts I have.

Both of our parents went through messy divorces.

I can’t talk to any friends or family as they are all too close to the situation and I don’t want to be judged.

Advice from those who have experienced similar welcome.
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Postby kitten » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:22 pm

I married my husband last year he was my first very serious boyfriend and I met him at 17. I had doubts and still occasionally wonder what it would be like if I had experienced more. He was my first also.

But I am happy with him and can imagine growing old happily with him.

I don't really know what to suggest, try and get away for a few days and have some time alone to think about it.
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Postby pixiemeat » Fri Jun 27, 2003 1:35 am

:-? hmm thi is a puzzling one and there really isnt much i can tell you! Im not old enough or in the same situation so i dont know wht ur going thru but if you try and looking at it simply,you may see away out of your sticky situation! *sounds likea greeting card!*
Okay you love your bf right? You dont think you'll find anyone the same? So hes obviously very special to you, and that to be bruttaly honest is something not worth risking! If you're not sure at the moment slow things down theres nothing wrong with saying i want to move this wedding back a few months, something as special as marriage is worth waiting for that extra couple of weeks! As for the relatives, its not them getting married its you two, only you can decide how you feel and when your ready! I think if you want an honest opinion, this is what id do, sit your boyfriend down and tell him " i think we shud put this wedding back" and talk it through what you two want out of this. First off itll make sure you know what your doing, give you that extra time to let yourself know what ur getting yourselfinto and how u feel about and MAKING SURE you dont make a mistake and end up with a sticky divorce.
I hope that helps, but in the end its up to you how yuo deal with this, but i hope you make the right choice, you seem a nice gal! Remember you deserve to be happy!
Its better to burn out than fade away
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Postby Llisa » Fri Jun 27, 2003 3:58 am

HI hun,
It's NERVES! It could be a whole lot deeper then that, but I'm guessing that's the main cause. It's a scary thing to think that you're going to be spending the rest of your life with this person eh? Totally committed! It's no wonder you have some doubts. I was actually just in my 5th wedding this past weekend. (I know, I know, always a bridesmaid, never a bride). Anyways, my friend was absolutely terrifiefd the night before. She was actually trying to get at the phone to call her fiancee and call the wedding off. She didn't do it (thankfully) and they had a beautiful wedding and my friend's as happy as can be. It's natural to feel pre-wedding jitters. But if you're really conscerned about this, I suggest seeing a counsellor WITH your betrothed and try and sort things out. Even bring in the parents if you have to! ok? Best of luck
Will be praying for you
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