i really cant take it

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i really cant take it

Postby Chealsea » Tue Jul 08, 2003 9:52 pm

resontly i went away from my b/f for 3 fays. and while iwas away i cheated on him,. not so bad people have said loads of people cheat, but like i cant take the fact that i cheated to him ith 6 lads. not all at same time at course, some of them it was only a kiss. But with soem it went further. I want to tell him so much twhat happened but everyone tells me not to. I want to tell him cos i really like him adn feel so guilty, but i was drunk at the time. I know that no excuss but wont it be better for me to tell him or should like i take my friedns advice and not?????? Please help cos i really dont want to mess things up with this guy and i never done anything like thuis before! Please help!!!!!!!!!! what do i do, it's all geting to me in a way an wenever he calls me i just break sown and cry as soon as i finised talknig to him .I just want him to know that i ddn't ean it but how can i do that!
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Postby emma_leigh_2003 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:23 pm

You say you don't want to mess thing's up with him? Well don't tell him! If you did tell him there's a 100% chance that he will dump you there and then, specially if you tell him you had 6 lads.
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Postby Llisa » Wed Jul 09, 2003 2:41 am

HI hun,
I agree with Emma Leigh, but just beware...this might come out in the future, like..HE could find out about it by himself...and think of what a mess THAT would be...it could be worse then...just think about it.
Will be praying for you
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Postby Bubble » Wed Jul 09, 2003 11:46 am

I think there is another issue here too hun, which is what caused you to cheat in the first place, with not just one but six lads. You say you were drunk, but when i've been drunk in the past it hasn't made me want to cheat on my now ex-boyfriends. Perhaps under the surface something has made you unhappy in the relationship?
Everyone makes mistakes hun, and like the others have said, i wouldn't be surprised if he finished with you for cheating on him. You could chance it with the honest approach. But just remember that not all guys are so forgiving. If it would clear your guilty conscience to tell him, and stop you being down on yourself, then perhaps you should confess. However, i think you must also remember that 'Truth Hurts' and you could cause your bf alot of hurt.
Best of luck either way hun, just think about all the implications before you decide anything.
Nuff Love
*Donna*
xxxxx
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Postby shine » Fri Jul 11, 2003 8:29 pm

hi, my best friend cheated on her boyfriend twice at new year. i was good friends with her boyfriend at the time and she begged me not to tell him. it took a lot of persuading but finally i lied to him. he believed me. after about a month or so he found out the truth. he said i hurt him and he wished he knew in the first place. he loves her with everything he's got so he kept her and they worked things out. things were going really well but she cheated on him again with 5 people more than once. he doesn't know yet and shes not going to tell him. i think she should tho and i can't cos i'm not friends with him anymore. i lost him because of her so i don't now what will happen this time round when he finds out cos they always do.
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Postby Godmeister » Sat Jul 12, 2003 7:36 pm

Well, there's obviously something wrong in your relationship Chelsea for you to have cheated with 6 lads! Im the first one to confess Im no expert on relationships, but Ive patched quite a few up and helped others with their problems (i.e. avoiding my own, but thats another story!), so I'll just say that you need to seriously think about what it was that made you stray in the first place. If you cant remain faithful to him, maybe its time to tell him what you've been doing as it isnt fair on him to be kept in the dark thinking that everything is hunkey-dorey (that means OK for anyone who doesnt know!). Sorry to be such a downer on this, but if you've strayed 6 times, you're probably gonna do it again at some point.
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im still not sure

Postby Chealsea » Sat Jul 12, 2003 9:19 pm

it's killing me inside, i reallt dont know what to do. all i want is for everything to be okay, i dont want to hurt him ,is there anyway that that can happen???? i think that i just best coem out an tellhim, and just telhim how sorry i am? but is that really the answer???? thanks
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Postby emma_leigh_2003 » Sat Jul 12, 2003 9:47 pm

Like we said, tell him and risk him dumping you, or keep quiet and live with your guilt! In the end what you do in up to you, we can't make your mind up for you, we are only here to offer our opinon's!
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Postby Lorelei » Sat Jul 12, 2003 11:41 pm

At the end of the day, only YOU know whether you would cheat on him again or not. If not and you REALLY want to make it work, maybe you should just forget about what you did. If you think it might happen again, maybe you should leave him because it's not fair on him. Most importantly, if you stay with him and decide NOT to tell him what you did, STOP agonising about it. I'm not just saying that for your sake, it's for his too. People tortured by guilt behave very strangely and they are NOT much fun to be involved with. Your strange behaviour is only going to make him feel bad about himself as he'll wonder what's wrong and think that you don't like him or that he's done something bad. Is that fair to him? Either close your mouth and swallow the problem, digest it and excrete it from your body OR spit it out now and risk losing him forever. Not many people are that forgiving! Best of luck, it says a lot for you that you do feel so guilty, I hope it works out!xxx
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