Relationship with a female escort

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Tarantula
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Re: Relationship with a female escort

Post by Tarantula »

Quick reply from me.

I'd advise keeping your finances separate. How long have you known this lady?

Be together, have a relationship by all means... but don't pay off her debts for her or join your financial resources to hers.

I have a different view on love - it's anything but unconditional (except maybe from your parents, and even that isn't gauranteed). I sense that you are hungry for a stable source of intimacy in your life and so have these romantic notions, but in reality (as I see it, anyway), romantic love is always conditional. If the standards slip then you can and should leave and not be held back by notions of unconditional-ness.

Slow it down and don't let your need for total together love-ness cloud your financial decisions. Why can't things stay the way they are for the time being, until she stops being an escort? It's only a year or so huh? Keep the magic going for longer 'cause once it's gone, it's gone.
boulding
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Re: Relationship with a female escort

Post by boulding »

Hi Steve

The scary thing about this is that it has become normalised in your mind. It is justified and rationalised via school fees, debts, appeals processes and the "need for savings."

You have an attachment to her and you say she feels the same. There's nothing to suggest that she's not a nice person but only you know whether you can put principles aside, turn a blind eye and live a life of deceit (increasingly difficult as children get older).

It's a free country Steve and I think you should do what makes you happy. My only advice is don't brainwash yourself into thinking you are responsible for her debts or her children. Keep finances completely separate.

Good Luck
snail
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Re: Relationship with a female escort

Post by snail »

A big thanks to the members who posted replies, but since Steve originally posted this problem exactly nine years ago, it should be resolved by now.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

Najwa Zebian
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Tarantula
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Re: Relationship with a female escort

Post by Tarantula »

Nonsense! It was only 8 years, 11 months and two weeks ago! :p
19ironside12
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Re: Relationship with a female escort

Post by 19ironside12 »

Hello Steve. Sorry to hear about your wife.
What I would advise is let her move in but don't rush into marriage. See how things work out first. But don't let her move in until she's given up escorting.
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