Not sure what my problem is

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Not sure what my problem is

Postby boris20041012 » Sun Nov 02, 2014 4:31 am

So here is the story, my name is Boris, and my ex is call Svenja, we met through a common friend , we didn't like each other at first, but after one drunken night I took care of her,and no I was being a perfect gentleman . We started dating , she told me no more games and be serious ,before that I told her i have never had a relationship lasted longer than three months, I get bored quite easy. So yea in this relationship when we face a problem, we intend to fix it rather than just quit it. We were both in uni, but a different one not too far away from each other , I was in my last year, and she was in her first year.So in the weekend she will come over to my place or I will go to hers. We had the most wonderful year, in that year we have been through the death of her father and my grandfather, we helped each other in that difficult time and I though after all this hardship ,our relationship will be stronger.
After my graduation, I have a chance to work in Hong Kong , so I took it, everyday we would skype and do whatever we can to keep this going. She visited me during Christmas, just like old time , we spent everyday together, at that point I was head over toe in love with her. Four months after she visited me, I got a call from her while I was at work which is quite unusual, she told me made out with someone at a party, I was quite angry and sad about it but she cried and cried, and beg me not to be angry with her , so I forgave her.Couple weeks after , it happened again this time she took a guy home,she told me they haven't done anything, again I forgave her, lol yes I was so blinded with this so call love. Two weeks later she told me she wanted a break, her idea of break is we go and see other people and when I come back we will see can we hit it off if none of us are in a relationship.
I did cried a little, but i was so caught up with work, i wasn't too emotional. I quit my job three months after because of the Hong Kong political situation and I got a job offer back in UK, so I went back to UK, they change my contract to a different post and lower salary, I was furious but I don't have a choice , you can imagine I wasn't too nice to my boss, so she fired me after a month. I have been unemployed for the last three weeks and I found out my ex has been sleeping around and had a new boyfriend already. Now before this , I didn't really feel anything too strong about her, is at this stage,everything sort of hit back, I have picked up a drinking habit, it really scares me, since alcoholic runs in my family. Anyway I got no problems getting girls phone number but every time I went on a date,all I can think about is my ex, I just cant do it, and is just really awkward. Is been six months already, I need some advice and I can see my life slowly falling apart. Sorry for the long post.
boris20041012
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Re: Not sure what my problem is

Postby snail » Sun Nov 02, 2014 5:01 pm

You were together quite a long time, so I don't think it's surprising that you haven't got over her after 6 months. Now that you are back in the UK, you could try asking her if she would consider giving your relationship another try. But given that you weren't that upset about her until you lost your job and until you heard she had a new boyfriend, I don't think that you do care very much for her, I think it's more that you are feeling low generally right now and don't have much else to think about. I would concentrate on getting another job as soon as you can. Do you have any friends or family over here that can give you emotional support, and take you out places and cheer you up a bit? I would avoid asking other girls for dates until you feel a bit more settled.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: Not sure what my problem is

Postby boris20041012 » Sun Nov 02, 2014 6:53 pm

thanks snail,I felt a lot better just by sharing, I am a kind of guy that only tell good news to my friends and family and I don't have any close friend at all,I only have friends that i have lunch or drink with.
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