My girlfriend cheated on me!

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My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby english2014 » Thu Nov 20, 2014 1:18 pm

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend told me last week that she had cheated on me a couple of months ago. She had a drunken one night stand with someone. She is really sorry about it and wants me back. I have told her I need space for now as I haven't decided what to do yet. We have been together for a year and a half, have always been very close, just like best friends aswell as partners. She recently moved to my hometown to go to uni. This was meant to be the start of our future together :cry: :evil: I am so angry that this has happened and feel like I won't be able to trust her, at least for a while. She has said it won't happen again but I'm worried it might. At the same time I really miss her and am worried that I will regret it if I don't give her a second chance.

Please give you feedback,

Thanks

Dan
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby Mrdad » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:00 pm

Some people are able to forgive in time, others not. You say you might regret not giving her another chance! But you might regret giving her that chance if she does it again. Saying it was a drunken one night stand is a cop out! I mean she knew what she was doing at the time so can't have been so drunk she couldn't have stopped at anytime. In my experience it'll end up eating away at you, next time she's out drinking, if she gets a text or call, you'll be wondering who it is? The only person that can make the decision on what you do is you? Can you forgive her? Can u forget it happened! Will you bring it up when you have an argument? You need to be 100% sure you want to try again, most people would say no ' once a cheater always a cheater' but it's your life, and I'm guessing still quite young, so it's not the end of the world, if you do leave her.
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby english2014 » Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:01 pm

Thanks for your feedback, really helpful.

Feel like I'm not a hundred percent yet to give her that chance. It's a tough decision!
She said she is prepared to prove to me that she is worth giving another chance which I
Do believe her but whether I can forget what she has done is another matter. At the moment
It's still very fresh in my mind and is eating away at me but I'm missing her like mad.

Think I'm gonna take more time to think this over.

Any more feedback welcome :)
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby wakeupbomb » Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:59 pm

There is not too much anyone else can add, but one thing I would do if you choose to forgive her is make it 100% clear how much you've been hurt, how much it has damaged trust in the relationship, and above all else that if you catch her straying again it is over.

One thing I will say is that there is a certain decency is owning up to what has happened, as many wouldn't have.
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby rufio89 » Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:43 am

It's totally up to you.

The thing that's important to remember though - dont give the relationship another chance if you DONT think you can forgive her 100% in time. You don't need to forgive her right away, but if you say you'll forgive her and then keep bringing it up, it's not fair on either of you.

Both options are completely reasonable, it's up to you to decide whether you think she's worth fighting for. One thing I would add is that people dont usually cheat unless they're just "the sort" OR if there's something missing from the relationship. Have you talked about her reasons for straying? If it was just "a spur of the moment thing" then I'd suggest she's just the type to stray, if there's a deeper reason (she feels she's not getting attention from you, she's panicking about this new commitment of living near each other etc..) then you should look into ways to address that.
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby Mrdad » Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:20 pm

Regardless of her reasons, she cheated! If it was a spur of the moment thing, it's likely to happen again as you say, if it's a problem in the relationship, what's to say she won't do it again if there are problems down the line.
And whilst it might be easier to forgive, it's a lot harder to forget, next time she's late home, next time she's drunk, or they have a row. It's very difficult to come back from, many have tried and not many get over it. The worse thing you can do if you decide to stay with her is let it eat at you! Be sure of what you want, relationships in early years are lessons that make the one that really matters work.
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby english2014 » Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:53 am

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your advise.

I have made a decision and have decided to move on and get on with my own life. I can't do this whole trying to trust her when I know deep down I'm not going to be able to, especially while she is still at university!

I need a new start :)
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Re: My girlfriend cheated on me!

Postby sjimoh » Thu Jan 08, 2015 12:02 pm

Good for you. I wish I could do the same. It's a difficult situation and one I hope you've learned from.

What is to say that another woman wouldn't cheat on you? And who is to say she may or may never cheat again for the rest of her life? May be you're better off, only time will tell.

Just an advice for the future, if you love a woman then you've got a life time job if you see it that way to please her, continue to attract her, fulfil all her vital emotional needs or she will cheat except her values her strongly against cheating however how many people hold such values this days.

Love is wonderful thing and it is great but love can cause you wonderful and great pain too. I wish you the very best in your love life.
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