suicidal boyfriend

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suicidal boyfriend

Postby angeleyes333 » Thu Nov 27, 2014 2:37 am

I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18 we have been together 2 years and I love him but he has had a bad upbringing and often feels suicidal. I cant cope with it all we argue over silly things and then he threatens to kill himself! He has taken overdose in the past and also hurt himself in a rage and ended up in hospital! He is going to get some help but I am also feeling depressed and feel like self harming! When I feel low be supports me and I try to support him! I tried to break it off until we both got sorted out emotionally but he phoned me and said he had taken tablets! I dont really want to break up because i love him but I cant cope and also struggling with my A levels! My parents want to stop me seeing him but I feel like its all my fault because sometimes i am nasty to him because of all the pressure im under! I have sneaked out of the house at night and walked miles to get to him when he is suicidal! Please advise me what to do..
angeleyes333
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Re: suicidal boyfriend

Postby snail » Fri Nov 28, 2014 12:00 pm

Your boyfriend really needs to see his doctor as soon as possible, and tell the doctor he's often suicidal, has taken tablets etc. If he finds this difficult, perhaps you could go with him? His doctor will refer him to get more help.

If breaking up isn't something you can do, could you suggest that you see each other less frequently until he feels a bit better, to give you a breather and enable you to look after yourself a bit? You can't help him if you are at breaking point yourself.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: suicidal boyfriend

Postby angeleyes333 » Fri Nov 28, 2014 2:43 pm

Thank you for the reply

I am going to try what you say as this sounds like good advice. I have already tried it but he turns up at my school full of apologies! He has got a doctors appointment so hope he gets sorted out too! My mum took me to the doctors and I have been referred for counselling! Im now worried about involving my parents as they dont want him near me! Thanks again!
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Re: suicidal boyfriend

Postby Akidma » Sun Dec 07, 2014 2:17 pm

Hi
Presumably when you posted this you must have known somebody would perhaps say something in response that you didn't wish to hear. This is that response. but I will still continue anyway, because it is good advice.
Change the way you interact with your man. Do not sympathise with him, when he offers emotional blackmail threats of self harm. Do not even acknowledge that you heard what he has said. Simply ignore it completely. You started by stating that him, and if you do then this isn't what you wish to hear, and you may even fear that if you had ignored him, he may even take his life. Trust me he won't! He is simply using this threat against you as a tool to keep you; he has discovered that such statements when made towards you, causes great emotional responses and hence he now thrives on these responses you give. If I am wrong (and I am not) then ask yourself why he doesn't just cut his own throat when he is away from you. He could ki;l;l himself any time so why does he choose to impose such drama upon you. Because he is emotionally blackmailing you, and only you can cure him.
You should concentrate on your exams they are far more important that spending time with someone who just isn't worth the effort, but if you do love him, then presumably breaking it off isn't going to happen just now, so cure him of his immature, concerning and annoying behaviour. Next time he says ''I am going to kill myself'' just respond with 'whatever'' smile and go. Do not confront him, argue with him and especially, do not show any sympathetic responses what so ever.
May I warn you, he may for example, take some tablets, just to ''show you'' that he really did mean business; he almost certainly will end up in hospital as a result, but the tablets will not be sufficient to actually take his life. You must not even visit him in hospital if this were to happen. You must harden up, or if you choose not to listen to what I am saying to you herein, then you will waste your life on this waster you are with, and spend it picking up the pieces from on drama to the next. It is up to you.
Before I sign off, you mentioned about your own feelings of self harm as a result of him.
My response to that is get shut of him and the thoughts will never cross your mind again.
You may also ask 'who am I that can be so blunt with you over such a delicate problem''. I am a person who had a Mother, who threatened to kill herself often; she took tablets and off to the hospital the whole family would have to go; she would recover then things would resume as they were until the next time. You become somewhat immune to such people.
At just 18 you are too young to waste your life like this. Heed my advice.
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